Remembered one today from about a year ago.
The wife was at work, kids at school and I was home alone, waiting on a delivery.
Early-ish I went for a shite and it was horrendous. Skidmarks utterly welded to the bowl, laughing at the futile efforts of a regular flush. I pondered what to do, then relaxed. I told myself I have all day to deal with this. I would return during the day armed with the piss chisel and power wash them away.
An hour or so later and my delivery arrived. The driver asked, sheepishly, if he could use my loo.
'Sure,' I said and directed him where to go. When he went in, realisation set in. The poor guy not only would come eyeball to eyeball with another man's offering, but such was the state of the thing he'd end up hitting them with his own stream. Nobody should be faced with that at ten in the morning.
He looked a little shaken as he left, and couldn't look me in the eye.