scottsdad

Two Borg mentions in one day

Harlan Coben is a bawbag who injects crack cocaine directly into his penis whilst shagging severed heads he keeps in his freezer. His TV shows are a bit meh, too.

I met a plastic surgeon once. I asked him of he had ever done something really unusual. "No," he replied, "But I have raised a few eyebrows"

Bruce Lee (far left) in Batman

Shagging with respirators on? There's a kink I never knew existed.

I can reel off 10 Star Trek examples off the top of my head. Vaughn Armstrong played (I think) 12 different characters.

Rewatching The Sopranos. Forgot that Julianna Margulies was in it.

8 for Friday

No clue who either of these folk are.

Just to add: https://rosasthai.com/menus

100% this. I have bought so many cars over the years that this is utterly true. No matter how small, any doubt just walk away.

@BFTD https://www.instagram.com/p/C2P51IeonwQ/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=6bbeb9e1-9c1c-4ba7-ae53-507c3b5f5851&ig_mid=B62B7959-00B4-4AF3-9752-C69510E60680&img_index=1

West Nile Street, loads of Asian places there.

Remembered one today from about a year ago. The wife was at work, kids at school and I was home alone, waiting on a delivery. Early-ish I went for a shite and it was horrendous. Skidmarks utterly welded to the bowl, laughing at the futile efforts of a regular flush. I pondered what to do, then relaxed. I told myself I have all day to deal with this. I would return during the day armed with the piss chisel and power wash them away. An hour or so later and my delivery arrived. The driver asked, sheepishly, if he could use my loo. 'Sure,' I said and directed him where to go. When he went in, realisation set in. The poor guy not only would come eyeball to eyeball with another man's offering, but such was the state of the thing he'd end up hitting them with his own stream. Nobody should be faced with that at ten in the morning. He looked a little shaken as he left, and couldn't look me in the eye.

My wife was reading Cosmopolitan magazine in bed last night and said to me, "It says here that most women get bored with their husband's sexual efforts after a few years of marriage." "Really love?" I replied, as I continued to thrust away.

Went to Rosa's Thai place in Glasgow. First ever Thai meal. Fantastic. A sharing platter so a bit of everything.

She painted a compo face on it

More pothole/measuring tape fun in the Mail. Fury over pothole-ridden 'tank track' which ambulances and bin lorries refuse to use: Homeowners are told THEY have to fund £500,000 repairs in stand-off with group which doesn't regard it as a proper street Followed by about six images like these:

I shat in every boys school cubicle. My aim is to hit every public building in Scotland as an adult. I have managed in castles, council offices, libraries, universities. when they open new buildings, I try to get in esrly.

8 for Thursday

I got a delivery today from Campbell's Prime Meat. Freezer filled with outstanding stuff.

8 Wednesday

Aye. if you ever get round to watching Star Trek, you'll know.

She has a compressed nerve in her neck. She can barely move, been signed off work for a fortnight. Really in pain and suffering. Just woke up on Friday in agony. It's horrendous to watch. To get her through this, she is binge watching Suits. The dialogue is fucking atrocious. Now I am the one suffering.