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Protect your eyeballs @101 Multiple compo face action here. 'Bully' council threatens to fine 97-year-old pensioner for feeding the birds in her back garden after a neighbour complained

Did you get pished and shave your head on a Saturday night? Been there...

Maybe it would be for the best if you'd stuck to your earlier position.

Another weekend annoyance: Netflix. We added my mum to it last week, costing an extra £4.99. No worries. Except they took the payment for December on November 25th. For years I've been paying on the 1st of the month (ie the day after pay day). Phoned them to ask if this can be put back to the 1st and was told categorically no. The only way to get payments back to the 1st of the month is to cancel Netflix completely on Christmas day, then wait until January 1st and restart the normal Netflix service, then add my mum back on the plan on January 31st.

A couple of annoyances this weekend but one has me seething. The cemetery is laid out in a grid-like fashion. For folk who can't walk easily they can take their cars in and park next to whatever grave they are visiting. My old man is buried at the junction between two of these wee "roads". At the weekend all I could see was that someone cut the corner and drove over his grave, leaving a tyre mark. Walking back to my own car I could see that they'd done it to a few coming in or out.

7 for Monday

Subtitles from Microsoft are often funny. One colleague of mine in a Teams call gave his name. The transcript listed it as Green Balls.

Man unhappy with the results of wife's facelift

My kids are bad for this. Pronounce garage incorrectly (like Farage). Zee instead of zed. The Po-Po instead of the Polis.

Barbara in colour? Oh yes.

Watched the episode where Larry agrees to a Seinfeld reunion. The scene at the end had me utterly in tears of laughter. The head of NBC has cancelled the reunion. He and Larry don't get along. It's all over. But Larry figures out that he has Lyme's disease. As he leaves the guy's office he imagines two futures, dependent on if he tells the guy about Lyme's disease or not. In one, the head of NBC thanks Larry for saving his life. The reunion is on, the cast of Seinfeld are all around Larry telling him how great he is, and Cheryl is amongst them saying he's her hero. In the other, Larry attends the funeral of the NBC guy. Walks up to the open coffin, shrugs and says "ah" quite cheerfully. Back to the present and he has to flip a coin to decide what to do.

@RH33 Fuming resident plasters cars with angry notes after being blocked in own home

6 for Friday

I'll save a few quid from this and a few more as my pension contributions drop by nearly 4% in January. My back-of-the-fag-packet calculations tell me that between the two I'll have something like an extra £270 when I get paid at the end of January. The fact that this was a cut in NI and not income tax means that folk in Scotland will see it also. Had the base rate of income tax been cut in England, that would not have been passed on here. I'm fairly sure I heard a Green MSP on the radio yesterday saying that this cut in NI will be dwarfed by the Tories freezing tax thresholds. But tax thresholds in Scotland have been frozen for ages and at a lower level by the government here which includes the Greens.

Hebden Bridge: Residents split over smaller Christmas tree

9 for Thursday - Polynesia

I know a guy who did this. When I was in Sweden, another student had done this as a summer job on horses. He said they sprayed a leather pad with pheromones, and walked the horse in to a cage with its nose up against the pad. Close the gate, put on a glove, grab a bucket and away you go.

Has @Granny Danger been banned or something?

Not even remotely surprised

Wilfred Owen

Jobby on the bonnet sends a better message.

Digitus minimus pedis, more catchy

6 for Wednesday

The original trilogy was a fun romp. Appealed to adults and kids, great characters and special effects. What came later was dung, mostly.

Deliveroo drivers cannot be unionised, Supreme Court rules