Quick update from me.
My subconscious plan to work myself to death continues apace. I am at it all day, evenings, weekends, the lot.
The wife is still off with her compressed nerve, and because of this has started noticing it more. She asked me the other day if I ever switched off. My mate at work, who had a candid word with me last year, has had another one, telling me outright that i am en route for a collapse.
I have taken the piss and shared stories in the past, but David (aka The Prof) spoke to me at the end of last week. Literally came into my office, shut the door and told me that i cannot take on any more. He's been around a long time and seen colleagues do what I am doing. He said something striking - "the university doesn't love you back, no matter what you give it".
It's all linked with my grieving process. I made it past my old man's birthday, father's day, Christmas all fine. New Year was unreal, awful. The anniversary of his death is coming up and for some reason I am dreading it.
On the plus side, I was offered another role to take on last week and said no.
I need to change but can't seem to get off this accelerating spiral.