Aidan

I'm tempted to go to the shop for a bottle of something stronger but I'll end up not doing anything that I need to so I better not

Just off nightshift, so I'm going to have a few beers, go and buy some clothes then get properly pished

Nightshift

Tbh your initial comment was probably a fair one, I wouldn't employ me to work in a pub like the one I did.

Shut your fucking hole x

The owner of the pub I used to work in only put the ice machine on overnight because of the cheaper electricity rates, then bag it all up and put it in the freezer upstairs. I think he should have been sectioned.

They would probably agree with me to be fair.

It's important to note that I'm working at the biggest employer of idiots and not for.

If it's any worse than Breightmet then I don't want to!

The whole place is just full of idiots. It probably doesn't help that I'm working at the biggest employer of idiots in the north west either.

I had a taxi driver asking me about Scotland at the weekend, and despite spending his life driving through Bolton town centre he is under the impression that everywhere in Scotland is a bit dull.

The amount of people in Bolton who can't words like bottle and hospital, and instead say bockle and hospickal. It's probably my least favourite thing about staying here.

Probably gonna head to this, should be a good night

Has anyone used both the standard uber and the uber exec? And if so is it worth paying the bit extra for it? I have a code to use so it's only gonna be an extra tenner or something.

I have no idea what happened last night, but I've woken up with sore head and a pair of fucking bowling shoes.

Voice recognition systems on telephone menus. They never understand my elephant man voice.

I've not seen much of him and if that's the standard of his jokes I don't want to.

I hope you don't shout on the train.

Comedy Central have a "joke of the day" on Snapchat. Todays side splitter comes courtesy of Jason Manford and is as follows; "Why does nobody believe you when you say you're not sat on the remote?"

My broadband has been cutting out all day for no apparent reason. Also, in the shower after work and I had it at a reasonable temperature. For some reason it decided to turn to volcanic lava at the precise moment the water was pouring down on my shaft.

I dunno what his interview was like, but provided he is not taking the last spot in the car park I see no issue

Perfectly reasonable provided there's plenty of other parking spaces. The car the guy owns isn't particularly cheap, and I don't see why he shouldn't avoid it being damaged by the kind of morons that park up in supermarkets and let their kids throw the doors open.

I'm sure the recommended course of action here involves a boot and her pie.

Cheers. I think the only wide midfield players we have are Graham Webster and Ryan Ferguson so if he can come in and provide a bit of competition it can only be a good thing.