c***s who refuse to upgrade their shitty laptop from a 2010 model to a modern desktop (or laptop) meaning that when they say that they'll email me something I need and it doesnt appear in 2 miliseconds, they say, "oh my laptop's just gone down and it will take ages to boot up again, I'll send it on tomorrow.".
Pretty sure a there's not a court in the land that would convict me for decapitating the useless fucker.
If he's reading this (which I highly doubt), your days are numbered.