philpy

I share your pain lad. I'm choked up, breathing out of my arse (makes a change from talking out if it) and sneezing everywhere. Tried nasal spray, paracetamol, and lockets, but to no avail. I fear i may have bad aids

Had £1 on kingsgate native at 40/1 yesterday. Decent wee profit.

He would have been too busy adjusting his burberry cap.

Maybe in the house or whatever, but it's not necessary whilst driving.

Im guessing it was a ned with his music blaring. I really dont understand why folk need to have music blasting out of their cars at all, they are sitting right next to the fuckin speakers after all.

Hayfever. I've been sneezing and blowing my nose to the point that i've had two nosebleeds today

f**k that, pull them up about it! at the end of the day you paid for the stuff, so why should they help themselves?

Courier firms who leave items on your back doorstep because they are too lazy to leave it with it your next door neighbour. Anyone could have saw them leave it there. p***ks.

Places that blatantly rip you off. Me and the missus were in glenrothes yesterday, so we decided to have a spot of lunch somewhere. We went to baynes the bakers (might as well name and shame them), i had a mince pie, a wee doughnut, and a 500ml bottle of irn bru. She had a tuna roll and a bottle of irn bru. The bill? £8.24!! i queried the amount, only to be told that the juice would be 95p if we had bought it to take away, but because we sat in they charged us £2, and my doughnut would have been 32p to take out, but they charged £1.50 because i sat in, and they whacked another 50p on my pie, and another £1 on my g/f's roll, the robbing b*****ds needless to say, we wont be back. They never had any disclaimers on the wall or on the menus stating that you are charged extra to sit in, surely that is a case for trading standards?

Where is this karaoke curry club you speak of?

Since you registered the team, you'l be in charge of the beer tokens this time. Ya rat

Tachographs?

A seagull cacked on my head as i was waiting for the bus home after seeing my team get raped 5-2 at home by a bunch of fishermen. It really hasn't been my day. I am led to believe that being shat on by a seagull is good luck, so i bought 5 lines on the lottery tonight. Lol.

Nearly knocked myself out at work today. I was tidying up in the yard when i bent down to pick something up i somehow forgot about the stack of concrete lintels beside me, i stood up and rattled the side of my head off one of the longer ones

Ooft. Good luck!

Why do you insist on talking about yourself in the 3rd person? it's shit, it was only kinda funny when alf hucker did it.

No sympathy from me. Fake tan

So-called "family" i am fuckin raging right now. My c**t of an uncle has seldom been in touch with my mum since she was diagnosed with cancer nearly 3 months ago. He has also never been to see my grandad who is in a nursing home for over 6 months now. My auntie did a couple of years ago and he complained that my other uncle never phoned her while she was ill. The hyprocritical c**t is doing exactly the same with my mum. My mum has had enough so she decided to phone him and ask him if he really wants to be part of the family. My mum explained what she is going through, he fuckin hung up. He goes to the football as well, and if i see him on saturday i may end up getting dragged out of the ground by the police.

£1.50 on 3 swedish league teams (not even gonna try and spell them ) returned £10.50 with jaxx

Go straight to jail for that comment.

I wouldnt touch her with yours. There isn't a lot you can do with 2 inches.

I don't despise my job, more the silly cow in our office. If i walk through the office to cook something for my lunch she'l always say "what you having today neil?" , then when i tell her she'l say "ooh, that's bad for you" or "You'l never fit into your kilt for the wedding if you keep eating stuff like that" she's also one of these people that tries to butt into someone else's conversation, and the one thing that bugs me the most is that she has an annoying habit of speaking with her mouth full.

Swansea. Saw they were still up with a minute to go, so i made my down to the bookies to collect my £55 winnings. My joy soon turned to despair