Ebanda's Handyman Services

Push the fucker back! Become a doer and not a sayer. Albeit you are being a sayer on the internet and not towards the knob who pushed you. 'Sake min!

I wish John McCririck (sp?) would shut that blethering pus of his.

I can't get the SPL option file to load on to my PS3.

I liked it when you were speaking all hoity toity, not swearing like a plebian oik. Please continue the snobbery. Cheers, Your ally, Andy.

So f**k. Get her punted. Seriously man, don't waste any more of your time with someone who isn't sure if she wants to be with you. I've been there and done that and I thoroughly resent the waste of time that it was.

I'm not being obtuse at all but I really think you should tell her to go and f**k herself. Bin that flaky effort and get yourself a girl who'll appreciate you with none of that unnecessary drama.

Braw! All the best Seamus.

Does she mean on a short holiday or a break from you?

I don't mind folk getting a wee help with things like EMA. It's just the wee fannies like yourself who make out that they don't need it and see it as a great big 'Look at me, I'm getting taxpayers money to blow on shite GIRUY' that piss me off. You might understand when you pay taxes if you ever do.

Get a job ya White Lightning drinking benefit cheat!

What a complete waste of money. Why do you spotty young virgins need money handed out to you for f**k all? To buy White Lightning and go on mindless Lightning fueled vandalism sprees? To buy condoms for the sex that you'll never get? To buy CoD MW2 and then sit in your darkened room pretending that you are a soldier and occasionally grunting at your hard working Mum & Dad who can only shake their heads in disbelief at the mess of their kid? Get a job you lazy b*****ds!

I know it's cheeky to ask but how much do you get with the EMA?

At least you're alright FF. Learning curve and a' that. When I first started driving I nearly pinned an old woman up against a wall in a car park. Then I got in my car. Seriously, I nearly killed the dottery old bugger.

Hancock. 5/10. It was alright but I felt they could have had so much more comedic value out of Will Smiths character.

The only time I've been out of my bed or off the couch was to take the wee boy to nursery and pick him up again. I must have a bug or something.

I remember the good old days when I never let a hangover register. Now I'm a total lightweight. I hope we're quiet at work tonight but cannot see it due to Sky Player going on to the bloody Xbox360.

I'm still feeling the effects of Saturday nights drinking. I can see me having at most 2 pints at our wedding on Saturday as I've totally scunnered myself with the drink. Only two nights at work this week at least and then I'm off for about 2 and a half weeks.

MMSM might be on to a wee earner here. £5 per kick at his stepmums fanny. You'll be minted in no time neebs.

I've no doubt it is. I was just telling you about the amount of folk that didn't have it in the correct slot.

I'm not saying that you have done this but the amount of folk I've dealt with on Freesat who didn't have their card in the right slot was terrible. Going to cable is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Suave, handsome gentleman with plummy accent shags some birds, fires some modified guns and ultimately gets the upper hand over some extremely hesitant bad guys who wouldn't have to worry about Bond if they shot him in the face when they got the chance. That is a summary of every single James Bond film for you stuart.

Agreed. Although I did enjoy Casino Royale.

I think he was just being polite when he included Ayr. They aren't genuine contenders like we are.

Isn't Ben Archibald who wrote that piece 'Arch' on here?