Scary Bear Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 How do you stop old people from touching your bairns? They seem to think it's acceptable to just come up to babies and toddlers and grab their hands or squeeze their cheeks. I was sorting my daughter out outside Tesco and this old guy just appeared next to me, said 'hello' to my daughter and grabbed her hand. She naturally pulled her hand away and let out a slight cry and this guy was like 'oh you must be sleepy.'No, she's not sleepy, she just doesn't like strange men coming and grabbing her for no reason. I don't mind folk coming up and saying hello but I feel physical contact with a child you don't know crosses a line. Young or old, people also like to give money to new babies. I had people stop me in the supermarket and shove money in the pram/buggy. Seemed a bit mental to me, but then I thought...this is Fife. I don't want any paedo bear photos, but I talk to kids on occasion and I'll help them at a play park if they are struggling at a climbing frame or generally look to be in distress. I feel this fear to interact with kids in case you're labelled a paedo isn't healthy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: The NHS get slagged for loads of stuff, and the way my wife was looked after following her section left a bit to be desired, but we had various episodes of reduced movement, high blood pressure etc with both bairns and I can certainly never fault them for taking it seriously. Used to dread midwife appointments as I knew an afternoon at triage was a strong possibility. They never ficked around. The merest hint of a problem and she was papped on a trace. I only ever experienced one shitty midwife but on reflection she jut seemed like a grumpy arsehole in general. The rest of the care was fantastic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Reading through the last few pages about all the purchases everyone's made/had to make for their little ones it really struck home how lucky my wife and I were to inherit practically everything from my brother in law! Sounds like we saved a fortune! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Well I'm a dad now. Baby was born 6 days ago under fairly traumatic circumstances but things have settled since. My wife went through 60 hours of labour (30 hours of which in hospital) before they took an emergency decision to have a c-section as the baby's heart rate had started to drop (they think due to exhaustion after such a long labour!) We are home now and things are going quite well but it has been very tough on my wife who is still recovering from surgery plus our baby is now cluster feeding (the 145th new term I've learned in the last few months) which means he is constantly needing fed at the most ungodly hours of the night. Worried she is already totally exhausted by the whole thing and hopefully it will get a little better. I've been doing as much as I can around the house and trying to be as helpful as I can but at this early stage I do feel so sorry for her as she is basically a machine keeping baby alive and there's only so much I can do. I'm off work for another week and I really hope that by that time things are a bit more settled. I've enjoyed reading through this thread as an observer and found much of the information and many of the stories incredibly helpful. Our son is amazing and it is difficult to describe how much love we feel for him. Absolutely fantastic news stu! Send our regards to the Mrs, and the wee one. It'll start to get better soon. And if it doesn't, there's plenty of help available. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 8 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said: For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now. My daughter gets lots of that type of attention out here from young and old people. I put it down to curiosity due to her being mixed race as opposed to anything sinister. You'd like to think that the vast majority of people are just being friendly but unaware/oblivious as to how society has changed over the years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 "Though shalt not think that any male over the age of thirty that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people; some people are just nice" - Scroobius Pip. Sorry this is off topic, but I’ve a new found respect for you throbs with your Pip knowledge. Well played, and an apt quote as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Its a great tune, a sad observation though. Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Its a great tune, a sad observation though. Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 When I’m out with Ava it can sometimes be a strange experience, some people ignore her, not really knowing how to act, some get down to her level, take her hand and have a wee conversation with her. These are the gid c***s, they don’t know how much it means to me to have them do that. The ones that just flick their eyes down quickly for a look, well what can you say 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 32 minutes ago, NJ2 said: Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary. You can only do the funny face so many times though. What about on train or plane trips when the wean continually peeps over or between the seats. A line needs to be drawn! Making an angry face usually sends them away with their tails between their legs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 7 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: When I’m out with Ava it can sometimes be a strange experience, some people ignore her, not really knowing how to act, some get down to her level, take her hand and have a wee conversation with her. These are the gid c***s, they don’t know how much it means to me to have them do that. The ones that just flick their eyes down quickly for a look, well what can you say I get what you mean but I don't necessarily think the people that look away do so out of badness. I'd say they don't want to convey a look of "pity". Try not to be too hard on folk as remember we've had to live and therefore "normalize" our situations which to the vast majority of people is alien to them. People that are openly mocking , belittling or abusive, now they're the c***s I despise. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 13 minutes ago, sjc said: I get what you mean but I don't necessarily think the people that look away do so out of badness. I'd say they don't want to convey a look of "pity". Try not to be too hard on folk as remember we've had to live and therefore "normalize" our situations which to the vast majority of people is alien to them. People that are openly mocking , belittling or abusive, now they're the c***s I despise. I’ve tried to remember what I was like in these situations before she was born and I totally understand some people’s reactions, it’s still shit when you see people you know well, clocking you walking towards them and they cross the road or walk into a shop you know they had no intention of going into. Mind I’m no where near as bad as I used to be, especially with the people who just stared, I had a five second rule in the early years, break eye contact after five seconds or you were asked what the f**k are you looking at 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: I’ve tried to remember what I was like in these situations before she was born and I totally understand some people’s reactions, it’s still shit when you see people you know well, clocking you walking towards them and they cross the road or walk into a shop you know they had no intention of going into. Mind I’m no where near as bad as I used to be, especially with the people who just stared, I had a five second rule in the early years, break eye contact after five seconds or you were asked what the f**k are you looking at I think some people just don't know how to or even if they should broach the "elephant in the room" for them but part of every day life for you. I've always just told people to chat as they normally would to me and if they wanted to ask about my daughters illness that's fine, likewise if they didn't due to feeling uncomfortable. Deliberately walking in the other direction to avoid you and your daughter is pretty poor show regardless of not intending malice though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 In fairness it’s gotten better 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just point out, kids are much more likely come to harm at hands someone known to them than a stranger. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 There’s not a lot you can do about it, if you are to react it will cause more upset to your child probably. Tbh I think she would love it. Physical violence makes her happy. I'm a bit worried about her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Jmothecat2 said: I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek. Hadn’t actually read your post tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 44 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said: Tbh I think she would love it. Physical violence makes her happy. I'm a bit worried about her. Show her some old time slapstick black and white comedies, or Punch and Judy. Violence has been funny to children for ever. I wouldn't worry too much, unless she starts laughing while torturing a pet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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