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Currently at a resort not too far from Barcelona killing a few days after my city break and i must say that I find the behaviour of British tourists has been quite good despite a plethora of old firm/ Liverpool tops on display. There is however one woman who I have taken an intense disliking to. I disliked her immediately before I even saw her in fact, as I was reading through "The Damage Done" by James Oswald (good book by the way) I overheard this odious 45 ish year old Glasgweigan half wit openly complaining to strangers that the sun wasn't shining on her sun bed properly as there was a building in the way and this wouldn't have happened at the resort she stayed in last year. I then heard her say that her and her husband were big Celtic fans and wanted to go to the Nou Camp but the Celtic end was sold out and you can't get into the stadium in the Barcelona end on a European night if you are from Britain as they wont let you in.

Last night I saw her shouting at a member of staff during dinner time, she is quite a tall lady and this man was smaller than her and she was towering over him waving her hand about and said "how good is your English?HOW GOOD IS YOUR ENGLISH?! Where is the food that is suitable for children here?!" The nice man calmly walked her to the children's buffet table which this idiot had clearly not seen and she didn't even apologise. I have seen her charging about the place today looking for something to complain about but haven't seen her in a few hours and I hope she has died of food poisoning.


Swift kick in the pie and you're the resort hero...probably.
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26 minutes ago, throbber said:

Has anyone on this forum actually ever kicked a woman in the fanny or are you all just all talk?

Throbs, when I first came up here, I wasn't 100% sure that the domestic abuse language was just "bantz", I'm still not certain, I would never dish or condone violence to a woman, call me old fashioned but that's just the way I roll.

That said I did call my missus a CockWomble but not with malice. Since then she as called it me several times & not always in jest, it's one rule for us eh? Maybe the kick in the pie is like my library book, long over-due.

Grimbo

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28 minutes ago, throbber said:

The idea of booting a woman right on the hinge is funny as f**k but I can imagine there being an outcry if you went through with it in public.

This Big Mags Heaney type on your holiday sounds pretty fearsome - I'd just keep your nose in your book and out of her, eh, business. 

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Men get kicked/kneed in the balls by women all the time. Funnily enough that is not frowned upon.



What sort of clubs do you go to?

I genuinely don't think I've ever been kicked or kneed in the balls (deliberately, my wife did it accidentally once) by a woman in my life.
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I kicked my own mum in the pie by accident when I was a wean. She crept up on me when I was on the floor, engrossed in Danger Mouse or some such shit, and tried to tickle me; I got a fright and lashed out with a foot strike of extraordinary magnitude. Must have taken her ten minutes before she could stand up again.

I've kept my piekicker holstered since that fateful day, although the memory still haunts me, more than thirty years on.

29 minutes ago, Adam said:

I went to the theatre last night, for the first time. I also went on my own (feel free to mock, my friends haven't stopped since I told them), but not sure I would do it again.

It can't be panto season yet, surely?

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Just now, Adam said:

 


Trainspotting. Was good.

 

At the Citizens? I keep getting an advert for that on Facebook with the guy playing Renton recreating the scene on Princes St by running down Sauchiehall St and then over the footbridge near the Sherriff Court.  It annoys me on two levels.

Recreating a scene from the film, that i'm pretty sure isn't in the book, for a stage production that I would hope would lean toward the source material rather than the film, is probably going to have folk unfamiliar with it going in with the expectation of seeing folk acting out the movie.

Secondly, the liberal use of the geography of Glasgow had me fucking seething.  Running down Sauchiehall St then transporting a mile away in the blink of an eye.  Get to f**k.

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At the Citizens? I keep getting an advert for that on Facebook with the guy playing Renton recreating the scene on Princes St by running down Sauchiehall St and then over the footbridge near the Sherriff Court.  It annoys me on two levels.

Recreating a scene from the film, that i'm pretty sure isn't in the book, for a stage production that I would hope would lean toward the source material rather than the film, is probably going to have folk unfamiliar with it going in with the expectation of seeing folk acting out the movie.

Secondly, the liberal use of the geography of Glasgow had me fucking seething.  Running down Sauchiehall St then transporting a mile away in the blink of an eye.  Get to f**k.



Aye.

The guy playing Renton was quality, really looked, and sounded, the part.

Got to see some tits too, a good night all round.
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I went to the theatre last night, for the first time. I also went on my own (feel free to mock, my friends haven't stopped since I told them), but not sure I would do it again.



You could always get the truth from Adam. That was one of his major weaknesses. He never told lies, he never took drugs, and he never cheated on anyone.
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