scottsdad Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 9 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I just got this on on P&B: The blue thing? (bearing in mind that this is the same website that advertised the 'sparkly combined dildo/vibrator' that turned out to be a bit of fishing bait) Bike chain cleaner 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 33 minutes ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. Order one of these babies.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 44 minutes ago, scottsdad said: I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 57 minutes ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. Just wear a Belgium top, carry your favourite mug, and walk the corridors shouting "make it so". Nobody'll bat an eye-lid. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMoore Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. Buy a stone island and swagger into work imgho. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. ^^^^^^has nits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 19 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: ^^^^^^has nits. *HAD nits. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, scottsdad said: I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. Scottsdad at his latest university disciplinary panel meeting: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 1 minute ago, Hedgecutter said: Scottsdad at his latest university disciplinary panel meeting: I'm chairing 2 of those this week. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 Witnessed something spectacular in Argyle Street in Glasgow yesterday. Waiting outside Primark for my wife to emerge when a young couple walked by. The lassie was wobbling along wearing thon high heeled wedges that appear to be all the rage. She lost her footing, ending up on her hands and knees, with her short skirt riding up revealing that she was going commando, flashing her bare arse to the entire street. Unfortunately nobody in the vicinity needed to park their bicycle. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 19 minutes ago, Cosmic Joe said: Witnessed something spectacular in Argyle Street in Glasgow yesterday. Waiting outside Primark for my wife to emerge when a young couple walked by. The lassie was wobbling along wearing thon high heeled wedges that appear to be all the rage. She lost her footing, ending up on her hands and knees, with her short skirt riding up revealing that she was going commando, flashing her bare arse to the entire street. Unfortunately nobody in the vicinity needed to park their bicycle. P&B rules... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 A creamy jobbie is better than a crunchy jobbie. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 The feel of a sharp lump of peanut finally passing isn't pleasant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 7 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, Newbornbairn said: I still struggle not to snigger at folk from Moray referring to jobs as 'jobbies'. That said, there's something a bit unsettling about an old woman saying "I've got a wee jobby for you...", or "how's your jobby?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 9 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. You must have been utterly bladdered if it was 11am in a Saturday night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Rugster said: You must have been utterly bladdered if it was 11am in a Saturday night. It's 11 am somewhere 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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