Things you want to share with P&B

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

Is it too much to hope for a plunge in temperature tonight?

https://www.sleepinthepark.co.uk/

 

[The Naitch]

I’m doing the Glasgow Santa Dash tomorrow and have done f**k all training. Just as well there’s a pub at the finish line to help me recover.

[DA Baracus]

Re application processes; for a job stacking shelves in Asda I had to pass a 3 stage interview. The first was the online application, which I had actually tried about 4 or 5 times before a couple of years previously with no luck. Despite giving almost exactly the same answers (I used to have a Word document where I had typed up answers to the usual common 'describe a time when..' questions that I often used, usually successfully) I passed.

The second stage was a group thing where we had to do stupid shit like build a tower with straws and pitch a product we've invented. Quite what the f**k this had to do with stacking shelves I had no idea. I suppose they thought it was something to do with teamwork, but when you're stacking shelves there isn't actually much teamwork involved. You just take a cage of whatever to where you're told then stack the products. We also had to complete an insulting easy task where we had to go to certain aisles and write down certain products.

The third stage was a one on one interview, where they asked shit like what drew me to the job and where I saw myself in a few years. Remember this was for a shelf stacking job.

I got the job. Lasted 1 day then jacked it cos I had to get up mental early and just couldn't be arsed with it.

Applied for a job at Spar not long after. After filling out the online application the manager called me in to the shop for a short chat, which was informal and was just to see if I was a bam. When he saw I wasn't I got the job. Ended up jacking it after a few months because the new manager was a dick. He called up Scotrail once because I missed a shift due to a hangover and said I had been away and the train was cancelled due to snow. If I'd been fired for that I couldn't really complain, but I just quit instead because the guy was an utter jobsworth widely detested by everyone.

Got 2 jobs shortly after (both online applications then interview, both with the same company).

[Cerberus]

5 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Re application processes; for a job stacking shelves in Asda I had to pass a 3 stage interview. The first was the online application, which I had actually tried about 4 or 5 times before a couple of years previously with no luck. Despite giving almost exactly the same answers (I used to have a Word document where I had typed up answers to the usual common 'describe a time when..' questions that I often used, usually successfully) I passed.

The second stage was a group thing where we had to do stupid shit like build a tower with straws and pitch a product we've invented. Quite what the f**k this had to do with stacking shelves I had no idea. I suppose they thought it was something to do with teamwork, but when you're stacking shelves there isn't actually much teamwork involved. You just take a cage of whatever to where you're told then stack the products. We also had to complete an insulting easy task where we had to go to certain aisles and write down certain products.

The third stage was a one on one interview, where they asked shit like what drew me to the job and where I saw myself in a few years. Remember this was for a shelf stacking job.

I got the job. Lasted 1 day then jacked it cos I had to get up mental early and just couldn't be arsed with it.

Applied for a job at Spar not long after. After filling out the online application the manager called me in to the shop for a short chat, which was informal and was just to see if I was a bam. When he saw I wasn't I got the job. Ended up jacking it after a few months because the new manager was a dick. He called up Scotrail once because I missed a shift due to a hangover and said I had been away and the train was cancelled due to snow. If I'd been fired for that I couldn't really complain, but I just quit instead because the guy was an utter jobsworth widely detested by everyone.

Got 2 jobs shortly after (both online applications then interview, both with the same company).

2 jobs in the same company at the same time?

Sounds tiring. I have a hard time getting motivated to do 1 job.

[JamieT1314]

So you jacked a job after 1 day because you had to get up early, then didn't turn up to work because you were hungover and it's the bosses fault?

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, JamieT1314 said:

So you jacked a job after 1 day because you had to get up early, then didn't turn up to work because you were hungover and it's the bosses fault?

Please point out where I said that

[Stellaboz]

I once told an employer I'd be late as the train from Arbroath didn't turn up, or was late or whatever whilst cunto'd. Bottle of red on the train up the road, Arbroath away is always fun.

[JamieT1314]

Please point out where I said that

It was implied.

[DA Baracus]

10 minutes ago, JamieT1314 said:

It was implied.

No it wasn't. I even said I couldn't complain if I was fired for not turning up

[Granny Danger]

My feet are aching.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 hour ago, Granny Danger said:

My feet are aching.

Gout?

[heedthebaa]

2 hours ago, Granny Danger said:

My feet are aching.

Plantar Fasciitis ??

[19QOS19]

Big Benji has departed Rip, what a challenge.
 

Yellow at best. Hope Cannigia was booked. Obviously stepped on the poor guy's heel.

[ICTChris]

Article about recently departed Max Clifford

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/may/02/max-clifford-sex-politics-tabloids-simon-hattenstone

[Rugster]

On 09/12/2017 at 14:49, Drew Brees said:

Had a night out at a clash tribute band last night, can’t really remember much but thankfully nothing other than a sore head to report this morning, then I got this


 

Funny that text is plastered all over Facebook today in these top ten drunkest texts people have received. Congratulations on going viral, Marty. Unless, of course, you've just lifted it trying to claim you received it. 

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

19 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Article about recently departed Max Clifford

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/may/02/max-clifford-sex-politics-tabloids-simon-hattenstone

[Bert Raccoon]

11 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Funny that text is plastered all over Facebook today in these top ten drunkest texts people have received. Congratulations on going viral, Marty. Unless, of course, you've just lifted it trying to claim you received it. 

Think I first saw it about half a year ago. Nice try though.

[Miguel Sanchez]

34 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Article about recently departed Max Clifford

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/may/02/max-clifford-sex-politics-tabloids-simon-hattenstone

Then Horwell pulled out his trump card: Clifford's penis. He reeled off the contradictory evidence: it was tiny, two and a half inches erect, according to some; according to another complainant, it was huge. In fact, Horwell argued, it was average, at five and a quarter inches flaccid. This bombshell was introduced with a Cliffordian flourish: the PR man's perfectly ordinary penis had been measured by a medical expert called Dr Coxon.

There were other moments of manic humour. The witness who described Clifford's penis as huge rationalised her apparently contradictory evidence by pointing out that she had a small mouth: "My dentist always said so." At which point the jury had to be temporarily dismissed for giggling. There was the defence witness who constantly referred to him as Sir Max and believed he was the editor of the Daily Mail; when told he didn't have a knighthood, she said she was just being respectful. Clifford himself was sometimes deliberately funny (when talking about his education through Diana Dors sex parties), sometimes unwittingly so ("Why would I need to name-drop when I represented the Beatles?").

[SlipperyP]

Big Benji has departed Rip, what a challenge.

 

If listen to the French commentator for this clip, he just sniggers with the final tackle (obvious dive).

 

[ICTChris]

Then Horwell pulled out his trump card: Clifford's penis. He reeled off the contradictory evidence: it was tiny, two and a half inches erect, according to some; according to another complainant, it was huge. In fact, Horwell argued, it was average, at five and a quarter inches flaccid. This bombshell was introduced with a Cliffordian flourish: the PR man's perfectly ordinary penis had been measured by a medical expert called Dr Coxon.
There were other moments of manic humour. The witness who described Clifford's penis as huge rationalised her apparently contradictory evidence by pointing out that she had a small mouth: "My dentist always said so." At which point the jury had to be temporarily dismissed for giggling. There was the defence witness who constantly referred to him as Sir Max and believed he was the editor of the Daily Mail; when told he didn't have a knighthood, she said she was just being respectful. Clifford himself was sometimes deliberately funny (when talking about his education through Diana Dors sex parties), sometimes unwittingly so ("Why would I need to name-drop when I represented the Beatles?").

Court News UK at the time of the trial published reports - basically every allegation was that he would get a woman into his office, get his cock out and try to get her to say how small it was. Utterly, utterly bizarre and disturbing. What a horrible man he was.