Jamaldo Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Dropped my phone down the toilet the other day. ^^^ Moron alert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 3 minutes ago, Jamaldo said: ^^^ Moron alert. I'm sure he's got an app for that. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 6 hours ago, sjc said: My wife is due to go back to work in April and is suddenly talking about buying a house, then she said she's wanting a new car. She's taken me away to Okinawa for a birthday treat and has already booked us for a trip to the Izu peninsula next month. I think I've married a secret millionairess......or she's not holding out much hope for me and already spending the life insurance! She could be sitting on a fortune. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 5 hours ago, welshbairn said: Wouldn't surprise me if it was one of the Junior forum scamps. http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/16041391.attempted-murder-probe-launched-after-football-boss-paul-mccoll-is-shot-in-targeted-attack/?ref=mr&lp=7 That's a straight red, even in the Juniors. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 ^^^ Moron alert. If I could prevent things from falling out my pocket by mind control then it'd be the first step to my world domination. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: That's a straight red, even in the Juniors. Only the Juniors could shoot someone in the face and stomach yet leave them stable in hospital. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 2 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Only the Juniors could shoot someone in the face and stomach yet leave them stable in hospital. This bit cracked me up. Quote The injured man - who was a regular at the bar - was initially taken into the back lounge where staff administered first aid. "Towels were got, loo rolls and stuff to try to stem the bleeding. He seemed to be shot in the stomach and the face, mainly in the stomach," the witness said. A bit botched if you're going to murder someone if you don't go for the triple head shot. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-43155412 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 1 minute ago, Zen Archer said: This bit cracked me up. A bit botched if you're going to murder someone if you don't go for the triple head shot. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-43155412 Shot twice on the way home and thought "fùck it, am gaun back tae the pub". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Shot twice on the way home and thought "fùck it, am gaun back tae the pub". His wife says 'what were ye dain in the pub?' Well hen, ah wis dain shots. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 If I could prevent things from falling out my pocket by mind control then it'd be the first step to my world domination. Thinking outside the box here, but maybe don't take your phone into the bathroom? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Shot twice on the way home and thought "fùck it, am gaun back tae the pub". That will teach you to stop hanging around classrooms 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Tynieness said: The polis are treating it as attempted murder seemingly, what the f**k else could it be, some jovial banter? Attempted murder and jovial banter get confused regularly on the Juniors forum to be fair..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Tynieness said: The polis are treating it as attempted murder seemingly, what the f**k else could it be, some jovial banter? It's the "targeted killing" thing they always come out with to reassure the general public that gets me. Basically "If you're not a total c**t you're probably ok, but we don't know who did it." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB 4.2 Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 The new Hula Hoop puffs are surprisingly magnificent! Tastes like monster munch/wotsits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Could everyone stop getting shot? ****** f**k my wife, I'm trying to save my mother fucking life 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Bought some Quorn sausages this morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 6 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Bought some Quorn sausages this morning. Me and you are finished. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Booked my car in for its first service with a local garage we have used for years. Almost half the price of the dealership and that’s using Mercedes parts to ensure it doesn’t affect the warranty. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 5 minutes ago, Rugster said: Me and you are finished. Was out for a fantastic Italian meal last night with a fellow P&B'er. Ate most of a pig in various forms with Antipasto & on pizza. Then met my daughter and she told me about how she'd been watching pigs getting gassed, throat cut then boiled alive and it has put me off. Was going to go veggie next month but started already. Had bought some nice venison sausages yesterday too - will give them to the dog. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: Booked my car in for its first service with a local garage we have used for years. Almost half the price of the dealership and that’s using "Mercedes" parts to ensure it doesn’t affect the warranty. FTFY.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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