welshbairn Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 12 minutes ago, Hampden Diehard said: 2 hours ago, Dee Man said: It wouldn't matter to me whether it was Kelly Brook or James Corden putting their finger up my arse - I would not enjoy either. A horrendous experience. My first one was performed by a massive farmer type with fingers like knobbly bananas. I still have nightmares about that one. My second was like that, the third he used some kind of anal invader. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 8 minutes ago, welshbairn said: My second was like that, the third he used some kind of anal invader. Did he have both hands on your shoulders? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 11 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: Did he have both hands on your shoulders? Had me knees up, wedged against the side of the bed. The device had teeth. He didn't appreciate it when I said we'd have to stop meeting like this, must get that a lot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 All bauer media network radio stations should be called "Lewis capaldi FM". Anthems to take your toaster in the bathtub to, all day long. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Had me knees up, wedged against the side of the bed. The device had teeth. He didn't appreciate it when I said we'd have to stop meeting like this, must get that a lot.I had one with the teeth device a while ago too. One worked the chopper thing and an attractive nurse sat in front of me chatting to take my mind off it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 I've only just discovered a new c**t on the block. His name is Laurence Fox. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSU Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 5 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said: I've only just discovered a new c**t on the block. His name is Laurence Fox. Wait til you hear the c**t sing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Hampden Diehard said: 5 hours ago, welshbairn said: Had me knees up, wedged against the side of the bed. The device had teeth. He didn't appreciate it when I said we'd have to stop meeting like this, must get that a lot. I had one with the teeth device a while ago too. One worked the chopper thing and an attractive nurse sat in front of me chatting to take my mind off it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 50 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said: I've only just discovered a new c**t on the block. His name is Laurence Fox. Pretty much all you need to know about the c**t: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 6 hours ago, throbber said: Does Ken Bruce not do a joke where one of his friends gifts him a free colonic irrigation and he says “I’ll tell you what you can do with your free colonic irritation!” As the punchline? There's one where a doctor prescribes suppositories for a wee Glasgow guy who has no idea what to do with them. The doctor tells him to put them in his back passage. A week later the guy goes back and tells the doctor, "Ah live in a single end so I don't have a back passage. I put them by the front door but for all the good they did Ah might as well have stuck them up my arse!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Pretty much all you need to know about the c**t: Fucking actor? The only good thing he’s been in is Billie Piper. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Fucking actor? The only good thing he’s been in is Billie Piper. Rab jacket wearer as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 1 hour ago, cyderspaceman said: I've only just discovered a new c**t on the block. His name is Laurence Fox. He used to be married to Bingo from the Banana Splits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 1 hour ago, GordonD said: There's one where a doctor prescribes suppositories for a wee Glasgow guy who has no idea what to do with them. The doctor tells him to put them in his back passage. A week later the guy goes back and tells the doctor, "Ah live in a single end so I don't have a back passage. I put them by the front door but for all the good they did Ah might as well have stuck them up my arse!" This is a line from Trainspotting 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 This is a line from Trainspotting It was around long before that. I always had the impression Renton’s teeth baring grin after delivering it was to say “Yes, an old one but appropriate here”. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 2 hours ago, GordonD said: There's one where a doctor prescribes suppositories for a wee Glasgow guy who has no idea what to do with them. The doctor tells him to put them in his back passage. A week later the guy goes back and tells the doctor, "Ah live in a single end so I don't have a back passage. I put them by the front door but for all the good they did Ah might as well have stuck them up my arse!" It reminds me of wee Jimmy being asked by his teacher why he wasn't in school the day before. -Ma Da got burnt. -Not badly I hope? -They don't f**k around at the crematorium. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Fucking actor? The only good thing he’s been in is Billie Piper. Rab jacket wearer as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Rab jacket wearer as well. 20 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Rab jacket wearer as well. Rab jacket wearer as well -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 14 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Rab jacket wearer as well Rab jacket wearer as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Pretty much all you need to know about the c**t: Anyone know what kind of jacket this fellas wearing? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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