Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 I saw a cat burying it's shit once. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 23 hours ago, Shotgun said: I'm really wishing I'd followed through on my plans to marry her back in the 80's. She looks, and sounds, amazing. No sign of the generic plastic surgery. Which leads me to the horrifying conclusion that it's all down to healthy living. If she had moved to Lanarkshire to be with me that wouldn't have been an option. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-hampshire-53662400/face-mask-found-in-chicken-nugget-in-aldershot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 3 hours ago, Theroadlesstravelled said: Is taking a shite outside someone' s house not the traditional way of saying hello on the east coast? Only in Dumpbar and Crewe Tolley in the Crapital although I believe it is also a tradition in the north east town of Keich and the West Lothian town of Shitburn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 58 minutes ago, Zen Archer Esq. said: I saw a cat burying it's shit once. *Insert joke about Smudger and Biggie here... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Ew York Times story about that strange Twitter account drama I posted the other day.https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/04/style/college-coronavirus-hoax.html#click=https://t.co/r5bxSEsNGK 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Tomorrow is International Beer Day. Time for socially distanced celebration.[emoji481] [emoji482] Not that we need any but some reasons for drinking beer and more pinched from a brewing web site.-Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids while consuming a healthy amount of beer. About 4 litres a day, to be exact. I always knew it helped with creativity.-Ancient Babylonians took the seriousness of brewing to a whole new level. If a bad batch was made the brewer was drowned in it. At least it didn't go to waste.-Vikings believed that a giant goat resided in Valhalla whose udders were filled with an unlimited supply of beer. Sounds like heaven to me.-Beer does the body good! It contains a high level of silicon which increases the calcium deposits and minerals for healthy bone tissue. -Beer keeps your kidneys healthy! A Finnish study showed that each bottle of beer you drink reduces the risk of developing kidney stones by 40%.-Beer is full of vitamins! It contains several B vitamins (B1, B2, B6 and B12). A Dutch study found that beer drinkers had 30 percent higher levels of vitamin B6 than their non-drinking study participants, and levels twice as high as wine drinkers. Beer is also a generous source of vitamin B12!-Numerous international research papers have found that those who consume moderate amounts of alcohol live longer than those who do not drink at all. At an average 4.4% alcohol content and light and mid-strength options to boot, Aussie beer is the drink of moderation!-In 4300BC Babylonians wrote out recipes for beer on clay tablets.In 2018, archaeologists in Israel found the world's oldest site for alcohol production, adding the beer-like beverage may have been served in ceremonies 13,000 years ago. It is the earliest testament in the world to alcohol production of any kind 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 I really don’t think it’s fair to say beer is full of vitamins, all alcoholic drinks are empty calories and fill you up with shite and make you fat. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 28 minutes ago, throbber said: I really don’t think it’s fair to say beer is full of vitamins, all alcoholic drinks are empty calories and fill you up with shite and make you fat. Shut up boozy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 1 minute ago, Bert Raccoon said: Shut up boozy. Well it definitely does more harm than good, I don’t see the point in trying to disguise it as a healthy drink when everyone who goes out drinking knows it’s not healthy. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Throbber was born in the wrong era, back in th 18th century beer was considered the safest drink, due to the fact that alcohol killed germs that were found in drinking water. The Royal Navy used to issue sailors with eight pints of small beer a day and the rum ration of an eighth of a pint a day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Although throbber would have to update “rum, sodomy and the lash”to “Budweiser, teabagging and pictures of cocks” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 You seem to know a lot about 18th century Royal Navy antics Chris - I bet you wish you were there too? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Chris as an 18th century sailor. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 14 hours ago, MixuFruit said: I've come close to having no option but to do something like that but have always managed to hang on till I found an actual toilet. Guy was probably pinching his arsehole with every fibre of his being for the preceding 20 minutes. I know of a person, who posts on here, who was caught short in a club and had no option but to take a shite in the toilets of the club. The hideous experience was made worse by the lack of toilet roll, something that was only discovered after the bowels were voided. Said poster proceed to take off his socks and wipe his arse with them, then deposited the socks in the top deck of the toilet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 4 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I know of a person, who posts on here, who was caught short in a club and had no option but to take a shite in the toilets of the club. The hideous experience was made worse by the lack of toilet roll, something that was only discovered after the bowels were voided. Said poster proceed to take off his socks and wipe his arse with them, then deposited the socks in the top deck of the toilet. I would have clenched my arse cheeks and waited until the cubicle next to me became vacant and snuck in there afterwards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 17 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I know of a person, who posts on here, who was caught short in a club and had no option but to take a shite in the toilets of the club. This statement in isolation is fine. Going up for a come up shit is euphoric. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 18 hours ago, tamthebam said: "I told them I was ill". Lurgi strikes Aberdeen! They always had problems playing Italian teams. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 22 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I know of a person, who posts on here, who was caught short in a club and had no option but to take a shite in the toilets of the club. The hideous experience was made worse by the lack of toilet roll, something that was only discovered after the bowels were voided. Said poster proceed to take off his socks and wipe his arse with them, then deposited the socks in the top deck of the toilet. I wonder if @Chicken Wing or @Stellaboz know who it was 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 2 hours ago, ICTChris said: Although throbber would have to update “rum, sodomy and the lash”to “Budweiser, teabagging and pictures of cocks” As printed on his children's party invites. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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