Sweet Pete Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I was told of a story last night which wasn't from a lassie but I felt it was worth sharing anyway. BBC News report comes on after some robbery or something had taken place and they start talking to someone who seen it happen. Underneath the person talking it pops up with Eyewitness Report. A mate pipes in with "HA HA! Eyewitness?! Where the f**k is Eyewitness?!" pronounced like Inverness but replacing Inver with Iwit. To my utter shame I did this once when I was 18. We were visiting relatives in Fife and I saw the town sign and said "Burn-tiss-land? Weird name for a town". They live in Burntisland. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm never sure with that one. Should it be pronounced "Burnt Island"? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm never sure with that one. Should it be pronounced "Burnt Island"? Indeed. Or at least that's what my step-father told me in between laughs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 2 hours ago, Sweet Pete said: To my utter shame I did this once when I was 18. We were visiting relatives in Fife and I saw the town sign and said "Burn-tiss-land? Weird name for a town". They live in Burntisland. Penisland.com 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Penisland.com You're always thinking about penis. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Just now, Sweet Pete said: You're always thinking about penis. Yours, mostly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm never sure with that one. Should it be pronounced "Burnt Island"? Burnt-Island is the correct pronunciation. I would recommend you tell folk something else though. "Burntis-land" (like a combination of burnistoun and anniesland) is my personal go to. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacekid84 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 3 hours ago, Sweet Pete said: To my utter shame I did this once when I was 18. We were visiting relatives in Fife and I saw the town sign and said "Burn-tiss-land? Weird name for a town". They live in Burntisland. I pronounced it the same at work when talking about the football team, got an absolute ripping for it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I pronounced it the same at work when talking about the football team, got an absolute ripping for it. Sharing is healing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 28 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said: Sharing is healing. Have you suffered from commissary? May i recommend purple bricks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Have you suffered from commissary? May i recommend purple bricks May I recommend not having shite patter? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Just now, Sweet Pete said: May I recommend not having shite patter? Please 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 The missus was just looking through pictures of when we were at Big Ben a while back and asked whereabouts Westminster Bridge was in relation to the pictures and then started talking about the recent attack. I asked her if she knew a woman got knocked over the bridge and into the Thames to which she replied "No", so I told her about the footage of the poor woman falling and how she ended up dying a couple of weeks later and the missus says, "Aye, I knew she died"... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Latest at work, How do you spell phonetics................... I thought it was spelt F-O-N-E-T-I-C-S but my phone has just corrected it and it makes sense spelt with PH like a phone but I thought it wasn't. Edited April 18, 2017 by MEADOWXI 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiviLion Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) There was a lassie at college a few years ago who said "What did Bin Laden actually do?" Not because she was some weirdo who believes conspiracy theories, but she had no idea who Bin Laden was. Edited April 18, 2017 by LiviLion 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 One of my female colleagues recently expressed amazement that the Polar Bears on North Uist story wasn't actually genuine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Wife earlier. "Put that Billy Connolly thing on" Me - "what channel?" Her - "channel 1" Who the f**k ever calls BBC 1 - channel 1????? I was disgusted I have to say. Thinking I may divorce. Edited April 18, 2017 by Gaz FFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 1 minute ago, Gaz FFC said: Who the f**k ever calls BBC 1, channel 1????? I was disgusted I have to say. Thinking I may divorce. I will happily sponsor your wife in your forthcoming divorce. C1 is, of course, BBC1. I may retract my offer unless she listens to The Archers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo*1 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Wife earlier. "Put that Billy Connolly thing on" Me - "what channel?" Her - "channel 1" Who the f**k ever calls BBC 1 - channel 1????? I was disgusted I have to say. Thinking I may divorce. Nah, have to say I call 1-5, channel 1,2,3,4 and 5 tbf. Actually thinking about it a bit more channel 1 is a bit off, but definitely 2-5 are referred to as channels. I used to work in a sales job in regards to television, and dealt with the English more than I did Scottish so I even sometimes say ITV instead of Stv, is that acceptable?Anyways back to the thread at hand... My missus, and this is genuine, I couldn't believe it myself, I sat stunned rather than laughed at her, said to me that popcorn was just microwaved sweetcorn. Then when I corrected her, she got snippy, saying that 'They're both corn'. I've not fully recovered from that incident which was about a year ago. It's still a sensitive subject as I shoehorn it in to remind her of it as much as possible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 12 minutes ago, Ludo*1 said: Anyways back to the thread at hand... My missus, and this is genuine, I couldn't believe it myself, I sat stunned rather than laughed at her, said to me that popcorn was just microwaved sweetcorn. It is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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