Mik Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 She found out at the age of 26 that Holland and The Netherlands was the same place Actually Holland and the Netherlands aren't the same thing. Holland is just a region of the Netherlands, kind of like a county/state. It's sort of the same as referring to Britain as England. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 There's a girl at work who thinks ducks are baby geese. She handles customer accounts worth about £1m... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 A few years ago my GF was on holiday in Spain with her pal. Scotland were playing at home and she knew I was at the game. We had won and McFadden had scored one of those infrequent belters that he was want to do. She texts me asking how I enjoyed the game and who had scored. In my now inebriated state I sent back that we had won through a "Faddy wondergoal". She was then convinced for months that Scotland had a player called Faddy Wondergoal (which she thought was a cracking name for a footballer) and always asked how he had played after the Scotland games. Eventually when she asked it in company, I had to tell her the truth. Never forgiven me for that one. Back in 2005 when Romanov took over Hearts, after a few weeks of listening to Sportsound on and off, I thought Hearts had a decent Scottish player called Michael Innes. Turns out he was a diving Lithuanian 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAGer Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Back in 2005 when Romanov took over Hearts, after a few weeks of listening to Sportsound on and off, I thought Hearts had a decent Scottish player called Michael Innes. Turns out he was a diving Lithuanian I've done something similar to that I have to admit. For a while I thought Clyde1 reporter (I think Alison Robbie is her name) was two people "Alice N Robbie". Understandably so, I didn't really tell anyone. Another female related one, although not a girlfriend but someone I know from school: On two occasions, whilst talking to her once in the shopping centre and once in Tesco she has asked "Where are you?" and been puzzled by the fact that I didn't respond. Also met her in the queue going to the local cinema one night, she asked what I was going to see, I told her the name of the movie and she responded "Is it good?"....."I don't know, I haven't seen it yet". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 On two occasions, whilst talking to her once in the shopping centre and once in Tesco she has asked "Where are you?" and been puzzled by the fact that I didn't respond. That's one that's come into conversation almost as a natural early question as a result of mobile phone use. On several occasions I've had people, including the wife, ask me "Where are you" when they've phoned me on a fecking landline! It's just force of habit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) Me: I wasn't such a fan of the last Harry Potter film. I didn't like the way they cut out the 'Harry-Hermione-Ron threesome' scene from the book. That is my all-time favourite Harry Potter moment. Her: What threesome? Me: They have a threesome in the final book. Her: Where? Me: On the Quidditch pitch. You've read the books. Do you not remember? Her: No. I don't think it's on the film, is it? Me: Nah, they thought that the threesome would make the film a PG rather than a U, so they decided to go without it. Her: Oh. Never knew that. Must have skimmed past that bit of the book. Edited October 13, 2011 by The Real Saints 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Malloy Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 The wife asked me to do some laundry the other day She later went to remove the clothes from the tumble drier. "these are damp!" she says "how long did you put them in for? "an hour" I replied "you should have put it on for 60 minutes. that's how long i put it on for and they're always dry" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 The wife asked me to do some laundry the other day She later went to remove the clothes from the tumble drier. "these are damp!" she says "how long did you put them in for? "an hour" I replied "you should have put it on for 60 minutes. that's how long i put it on for and they're always dry" Once you've done the laundry do you put them in the closet? It aint doin laundry its doin eh wahshin' That is a good one though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I told my girlfiend that my parents were visiting Brussels. She looked quite hesitant for some reason and I asked what was wrong. Her: "no...nothing" Me: "No what is it?" Her: "No you'll laugh" Me: "I won't, what is it?" Her: ".......Is Brussels a city or a country?" Cue hysterical laughter for about 5 minutes from yours truly. Deary deary me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I told my girlfiend that my parents were visiting Brussels. She looked quite hesitant for some reason and I asked what was wrong. Her: "no...nothing" Me: "No what is it?" Her: "No you'll laugh" Me: "I won't, what is it?" Her: ".......Is Brussels a city or a country?" Cue hysterical laughter for about 5 minutes from yours truly. Deary deary me. Well, which is it then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 She's come out with a few decent ones lately, mainly tv related. Watching Harry Potter: "Dragons exist, don't they?" Watching that dinosaur programme on BBC1: "Did dinosaurs really exist?" Watching something last night where a dead body is discovered. The programme is set in southern England: "Look at that, those vultures look really lifelike!" "They're crows dear." Me flicking between the two CL games last night: "Why have Manchester changed their tops?" Telling me triumphantly that there are 12,000 hours in 5 days, then taking about 5 minutes to realise she's got it wrong. Half the time I just agree with her now, it's funnier 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the jambo-rocker Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 'Behind every great man, is an even greater woman' MY...FRECKILY...ARSE! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Well, which is it then? It's a country next to Swaziland, duh. Oh in addition to that episode, she actually thought Nepal was in France. When I asked her if she meant "Naples" she looked a little embarassed but relieved as she thought she was on the right lines. Only for me to tell her that Naples is in Italy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I was saying to her that I don't need insurance to drive her car now as I've renewed my policy, I've turned 25 and so im covered for any car on my own policy. Her reply - "big whoop, I'll be 25 in February" Her birthday is in April. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) Possibly a bit late for this but years ago I was driving through the countryside with my then girlfriend (now wife). She said "aw look there's..." and stopped. I said "what was it?". She wouldn't say but I kept asking and she eventually said "I thought I saw a unicorn". Nearly crashed the fuckin car. Edited November 2, 2011 by Dosser-fae-the-shire 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squidger Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Possibly a bit late for this but years ago I was driving through the countryside with my then girlfriend (now wife). She said "aw look there's..." and stopped. I said "what was it?". She wouldn't say but I kept asking and she eventually said "I thought I saw a unicorn". Nearly crashed the fuckin car. thats a corker 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 My girlfriend just said to me: Why do you have that picture thingy on your profile, I thought it was about football? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 It's a country next to Swaziland, duh. Oh in addition to that episode, she actually thought Nepal was in France. When I asked her if she meant "Naples" she looked a little embarassed but relieved as she thought she was on the right lines. Only for me to tell her that Naples is in Italy. Was it not Brest she was thinking of? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Women I work with; This morning one says I have one of those Subway (the fast food place) Cards but cannot figure it out. Hands card to me. First 5 words on card are 'Collect Points - Get Free Subways'. I asked did she want that broken down into a simpler explanation. Receptionist when doing mail regularly asks questions such as, 'Is Denmark in Europe', 'Is Egypt in Europe', 'The USA, thats not part of Europe is it?' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_J Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I never remember the ridiculously stupid things my bird says so was delighted for one to come up at dinner last night and immediately thought of this thread. Her: How was work? Me: Ah bit of a nightmare, the shared drive crashed so no one could get access to some files and we've had to postpone something. Her: The shares crashed? Like the stock market and that? Me: No, its like an electronic folder that everyone in the organisation has different degrees of access to. Her: Ah right, I thought you meant something about shares, you know like is dealt with on Walmart Street? Me: You mean Wall Street? Her: No, the big financial area in America, Walmart Street! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.