Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 When Gus Poyet was being interviewed the other night my girlfriend asked why someone from Uruguay would be called Angus Play with her head and tell her that Liverpool play in Uruguay as well as England. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 My missus isn't normally prone to this sort of thing but came out with a belter yesterday. She asked me if I'd heard Mickey Rooney was dead and wondered what the cause was. When I said I reckoned I guessed it was just old age, her reply was: "He couldn't have been that old - he was only in The Wrestler a few years ago..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 At the grand prix in Bahrain at the weekend me -did you get a good picture of vettel missus-i thought so but they were awfy dark me-eh you have your sunglasses on 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Play with her head and tell her that Liverpool play in Uruguay as well as England. There's an Everton and a Rangers in Chile too, but it would be cruel to confuse her that much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Mines comes out with some crackers. Few months ago we had foxes in the garden, she caught sight of one of the baby ones and thought it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen and wanted to keep it. I then explained to her the difficulties and dangers of doing such a thing. Her reply was 'furfuxache, why not? they managed to train a fox in the fox and the hound so why can't I'? And then just last night, we were watching a film about 9/11, with Nicholas Cage in it and she comes out with 'right, I know this might sound daft but did this come out after 9/11 or did they just guess it like they did with the film 2012'. Oh ya fucker I almost ended myself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tight minge Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 An ex of mine (chinese) came away with a cracker. We were in the Louvre in Paris doing the tourist stuff. Whilst looking at one of the many pictures of the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus. She pipes up, thats 'Mary, with the son of God, whats his name?' she thinks for a second two and then says 'James Bond'. Its the most bizarre thing I had heard, in some defence, being a Budhhist, with limited travel out of China, I suppose it was an honest mistake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My mum genuinely thought that Felix Baumgartner jumped to Earth from the Moon. That's right, not just the edge space... but the Moon. I was (and still am) horrified. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 An ex of mine (chinese) came away with a cracker ... chicken noodle soup and a sweet and sour chicken? Boom boom 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My younger cousin is quite ditzy at times. We were watching The Chase one night and some question came up like:- "What is the highest mountain in Japan?" Me: "C'mon then Rhiann, you've got a higher in Geography." Rhiann: "Aye, so what?" Me: "Well you should ken the answer!" Rhiann: "What's that got to dae wae Geography?" She has a point though. That's got nothing to do with geography (as an academic subject anyway). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My girlfriend asked me a couple of days ago why her watch didn't update when the clocks changed. She said that her phone and laptop did and couldn't understand why her watch wasn't the same. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 She has a point though. That's got nothing to do with geography (as an academic subject anyway). My uncle's a geography teacher and knows little about places, highest points etc. He does live in Glasgowshire though so that may explain it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My brother convinced his girlfriend that Sergio Busquets dads name was 'Cadbury'. My ex-girlfriend cried for half an hour because, despite being with her for 2 years and her having met my uncle Jim, I managed to convince her we had the same Uncle Jim. (Her reasoning behind believing it was that they 'both have moustaches'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My girlfriend asked me a couple of days ago why her watch didn't update when the clocks changed. She said that her phone and laptop did and couldn't understand why her watch wasn't the same. One of my watches (not a digital one) does 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Missed one earlier - when doing a quiz on the board I asked one of the girls to choose a square - each square had a question hidden behind it. Due to kids blethering I wasn't sure which one she had picked so I asked her again and she said " Can I have D please ? - D for elephant "??? !!!!!!! :) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 (edited) Just heard some belters at work. Some folk were discussing the Oscar Pistorious case. A lassie piped up with "Well if a black man was hiding in my toilet, I'd shoot him!" After a moment of stunned silence, I pointed out the racism in her statement, to which she replied, "I thought all Africans were black!". This is of course the trial of a white South African man who murdered his white South African girlfriend. To confound matters, our manager happens to be a South African man who is white. This then led on to her telling us that she was shocked when she first heard that a South African guy was going to become our manager as she thought all Africans lived in 'grass huts' (her words). She also thinks lions and tigers stroll around the streets of South Africa (and indeed all of Africa) 'the same way as cows and sheeps here' (her words, and yes she pluralised sheep). She then rounded out this fine soliloquay when she started talking about her mum offering her a bacon sandwich for her dinner last night. She was digusted with this as 'a bacon roll is a breakfast thing, no a dinner thing!' She stormed off in a fury to the freezer to make chicken and curly fries, only to be outraged when it turned out that instead of chicken, she'd managed to cook 'fucking fish'. Edited April 10, 2014 by DA Baracus -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Just remembered another belter that the lassie mentioned above came out with. She asked why Henry VIII was called that as 'he only had six wives'! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 My missus hasn't came out with anything noteworthy in a while. Shame. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuggie_Murray7 Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 My girlfriend thought that Nazi was a region of Germany when a guy on TV mentioned Nazi Germany. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 My girlfriend thought that Nazi was a region of Germany when a guy on TV mentioned Nazi Germany. Recently had to drop in to leave a message at a solicitor's office. The wee girl on reception punted me through to an empty wood-paneled waiting room, which I paced around for a few minutes until I noticed a swastika carved into the wood behind one of the plush leather chairs. I went back out to tell the receptionist. "What?" "A swastika. Someone's carved a swastika into your wall." Blank stare. "A...suv...svar...?" "The symbol that the Nazis used in Germany?" Blank stare. "During the Second World War?" "Uhh..." "C'mon, I'll show you." We march into the waiting room. "There. A swastika. Just thought you'd like to know before somebody important came in and took offence." "Oh. I'll let him know when he comes out. Thanks." She turns to walk back to her desk again, but stops in the doorway. "Um...what should I tell him again?" Not sure whether to envy her innocence or be horrified at the ignorance. Pretty sure I mentioned Hitler at some point too, but that didn't elicit a flicker of recognition either. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Noticed that there was a discussion about ketchup obsessions back at the beginning of the thread (when dinosaurs and Rangers walked the earth). Just wanted to add that I used to know a girl who insisted on ketchup with everything, and it turned out to be some kind of strange psychological comfort blanket that she couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge. She would not eat a meal if ketchup wasn't available and became terrifyingly angry if it was ever pointed out - as in, teeth gritted, silent for the rest of the night, burning a hole in the floor with her eyes, presumably fighting the overwhelming urge to murder everybody else in the room. Never did work out what that was all about. Boring, I know, but I've been wanting to tell someone about that weirdness for years 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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