Northern Son Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Lovely young lady on Pointless just now. Category famous historical people who have been assassinated. Q: Shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas? A: J.R. Never mind Pointless, that is priceless! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Lovely young lady on Pointless just now. Category famous historical people who have been assassinated. Q: Shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas? A: J.R. Never mind Pointless, that is priceless! I can remember the exact same question and answer coming up on a game show decades ago too. Worrying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Away to Tesco for the kerry oot earlier and the missus asked if I could get her some that Simon Weston cider. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Away to Tesco for the kerry oot earlier and the missus asked if I could get her some that Simon Weston cider. Did you use your clubcard coupon? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I've just spent the last 5 mins trying to stiffle laughter as the Wife tried to work out where the noise of "tweeting birds and monkeys" was coming from. She's sitting right next to one of the surround sound speakers and The Lost World: Jurassic Park is on. This Space Cadet is going back to work tomorrow after her 6 month maternity leave stint. I doubt she'll be able to get on the right bus in the morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 My girlfriend is foreign and doesnt like to use the word "period" with regards to the monthly downstairs unpleasantness. Instead she just called it her "internal logistics" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Ah no. She was actually talking about getting broadband in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rational Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Just been out for a bite to eat at Ocean Terminal. I spied a cruise ship in the harbour. 'I wonder where it's going?' says me... 'Brussels?' says the missus. At least it wasn't 'let's send HMS Bulwark to Nepal'.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My girlfriend thought that calling gay people faggots was a compliment. She's fucking dense. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My girlfriend thought that calling gay people faggots was a compliment. She's fucking dense. There's other clues. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 You wanna do it mate? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My girlfriend thought that calling gay people faggots was a compliment. She's fucking dense. Fag hags can get away with it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 My mum takes Tramadol each night to help with chronic back pain (and it's a good buzz when washed down with brandy). She takes a dose big enough to space out an elephant. Her dog (now deceased), also suffered joint pain and needed a low dose doggie version of Tramadol. Bella had a fine sleep the night my mum mixed up the tablets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 At a dinner last night, one of the girls at our table, on hearing the mention of "beer goggles" remarked that she'd never had the need to buy a pair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 At a dinner last night, one of the girls at our table, on hearing the mention of "beer goggles" remarked that she'd never had the need to buy a pair. I will sell her my pair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Sitting watching a comedy clip show on 5. The Narrator: "This is Cody Lynn who lives in Wyoming, where all children have to have two first names: this is her daughter Ricki-Lee." Missus: "They have some daft rules in America." Me: "Eh?" Missus: "Being made to give your kid two first names!" Me: *Fits of laughter* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Not my babe, but a bit of a babe I work with. Out for the Friday morning bacon rolls. In cafe waiting on bacon being cooked and she looks at TV, Carol is doing the weather @ Wimbledon (lucky fucking weather), and the babe next to me looking at the weather map says 'look it is sunny here', I point out that looking the other way is a 8ft by 10ft shop front with the sun beating through it and we have just walked up in the street without getting cold or wet only 45seconds beforehand so I was fairly confident of the weather in the area. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Was having an unmemorable conversation about nothing in particular with a lassie today, when she said something about stereotypes. A second lassie who'd been listening in piped up, "Aye, they're coming back into fashion, eh? 'Cause folk are buying more CDs 'n' that." *crickets* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 My boss was saying he had been to see 12 Angry Men. Female listening had never heard of it. So he mentioned the film and Henry Fonda, She said she didn't watch black and white films but liked him in Happy Days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Was having an unmemorable conversation about nothing in particular with a lassie today, when she said something about stereotypes. A second lassie who'd been listening in piped up, "Aye, they're coming back into fashion, eh? 'Cause folk are buying more CDs 'n' that." *crickets* Crickets? My boss was saying he had been to see 12 Angry Men. Female listening had never heard of it. So he mentioned the film and Henry Fonda, She said she didn't watch black and white films but liked him in Happy Days. Pics. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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