BFTD Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 He obviously got some shite on his toothbrush this morning. I'm all for euphemisms, but really... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Hilarious. Just so you know, this thread is for daft comments made by women that we can laugh at and not for every time a woman doesn't know the answer to something. If she had said "who do the Tartan Army support? Is it Newcastle?" that would've worked and been an acceptable post. Glad I could help. Will have words later and ensure her future stupid utterances are in a form more acceptable to the definition of this P&B thread, They will remain stupid but be better delivered for your enjoyment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Went clothes shopping with my girlfriend at the weekend. She was absolutely delighted with one purchase she made. A very plain pair of dark blue trousers for £39. She's not normally known for her extravagant ways, so I was intrigued why she could be so happy with paying so much money for such a bland item. "I'm normally a size 8. These are a size 6 and they fit perfectly!!!". Jesus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Was in Edinburgh at the weekend and out wandering around on Sunday morning. Loads of Frenchies wandering around dressed in berets, stripy jumpers, cockerel hats and tricolours. "So who are Scotland playing in the rugby today then?", she says. At least she didn't think it was the Rangers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rational Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 That would involve stripey jumpers, berets, a mask and a large bag with 'swag' written on it..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) To be fair, the French weren't running around shouting "f**k the Pope and the IRA."Fook le Pope et l'IRA. Non Abandonner Edited March 14, 2016 by Swarley 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Fook le Pope et l'IRA. Non Abandonner That would be said ironically, presumably. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Was in Edinburgh at the weekend and out wandering around on Sunday morning. Loads of Frenchies wandering around dressed in berets, stripy jumpers, cockerel hats and tricolours. "So who are Scotland playing in the rugby today then?", she says. You should have told her you were taking her to Paris for the weekend. French restaurant on Saturday night.. definite hole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 You should have told her you were taking her to Paris for the weekend: definite shitehole. FTFY. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Her: "What did you do today?" Me: "Not much. Sat in the flat and watched the League Cup final" Her: "Who was playing?" Me: "Hibs and Ross County" Her: "Aw really!? Did Hibs win?" (She doesn't like football but always said she had a soft spot for Hibs because she's from through that way). Me:"Naw, lost 2-1" Her: "f**k sake! Does that mean they've lost the league now?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 FTFY. One of the best cities in the world. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 One of the best cities in the world. I can't say I'd rush back. Went with the school and enjoyed it but when I went a few weeks ago I saw it in a whole different light. The Metro is an exceptional system though and pisses all over the Underground. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I can't say I'd rush back. Went with the school and enjoyed it but when I went a few weeks ago I saw it in a whole different light. The Metro is an exceptional system though and pisses all over the Underground. UKIP type post, Blaming the stench of piss on the London Underground on the Metro coming over and pissing all over it. Bloody Foreigners. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 "Where's Auchinleck, because there's good a hotel offer here and I was thinking we could go there for your birthday weekend". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Simao Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Can recall my sister, who is generally pretty switched on, once coming out with "Doesn't it seem like most Indians are from Pakistan?" as the Masoods were discussing their "hometown" in Eastenders. My precise reaction as i turned to face her 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppino Impastato Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Can recall my sister, who is generally pretty switched on, once coming out with "Doesn't it seem like most Indians are from Pakistan?" as the Masoods were discussing their "hometown" in Eastenders. My precise reaction as i turned to face her Yeah but how big are Her tits 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Yeah but how big are Her tits That's terrible, that's the boys sister you canny ask him that... You ask him to post a pic and you decide for him... much to learn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 In terms of strange quasi-racist things girls hit out with - we've got two male cats. one big Maine Coon and a little black one. I mentioned in work that we'd been watching TV the previous night and the wee one had been doing that disconcerting cat thing where he started off cleaning himself right in front of us then became way too interested in the project - turned out the wee man has a bit more to be proud of in cat terms than the other one who's twice his size. Lassie in my work didn't skip a beat: "Oh, that'll probably be because he's black..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 I can't say I'd rush back. Went with the school and enjoyed it but when I went a few weeks ago I saw it in a whole different light. The Metro is an exceptional system though and pisses all over the Underground. Paris balls so hard motherfuckers wanna blow it up. #thatshitcray 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 In terms of strange quasi-racist things girls hit out with - we've got two male cats. one big Maine Coon and a little black one. I mentioned in work that we'd been watching TV the previous night and the wee one had been doing that disconcerting cat thing where he started off cleaning himself right in front of us then became way too interested in the project - turned out the wee man has a bit more to be proud of in cat terms than the other one who's twice his size. Lassie in my work didn't skip a beat: "Oh, that'll probably be because he's black..." There's a pithy remark to be made about the other one being a coon too, but it's beyond me. Perhaps one of our resident racists can help. Anyway, at least everyone at your work can ask this lassie about her experience with big black cocks next time there's a lull in conversation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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