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Annoying things people write on Facebook


Geedub-MFC

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My newsfeed has been getting inundated with people going on about how Beyonce is flawless, etc. and I expect more of the same tonight.

I think there might be some sort of server meltdown if I were to post a status saying she isn't actually that great.

I don't understand why she is placed on some monolithic pedestal when she is as utterly average as the majority of other pop stars of current. Caused some serious rage expressing this opinion to some friends.

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Beyonce seems to only be held in high esteem by females in my experience. I never hear males saying how much or a ride she is. Yet I always hear it about people like Katy Perry.

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Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

f**k 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times.... I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know... Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

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In response to an article about the US women's hockey team crying, someone of my facebook just posted this.

"I cry pretty much every day about something or other!! I'm like that one from mean girls who "doesn't even go to that school but just has a lot of feelings" haha it's ok to cry! Crying is like farting: better out than in! X"

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In response to an article about the US women's hockey team crying, someone of my facebook just posted this.

"I cry pretty much every day about something or other!! I'm like that one from mean girls who "doesn't even go to that school but just has a lot of feelings" haha it's ok to cry! Crying is like farting: better out than in! X"

Should photoshop the last sentence onto a picture of some philosopher deep in thought, and post it back on her page

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Should photoshop the last sentence onto a picture of some philosopher deep in thought, and post it back on her page

Incredibly tempting, but I don't know the bird that posted it as it was a response to something a lassie I work with posted. In other words: I'm a shitebag.

Top work itzdrk though,

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I assume that they're suggesting you paint a triangle outside your house, would-be burglars will know that you have a dog and decide to burgle somebody else's house.

Would be funny if loads of people draw triangles outside their house, then burglars come and steal their dogs.

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I assume that they're suggesting you paint a triangle outside your house, would-be burglars will know that you have a dog and decide to burgle somebody else's house.

Would be funny if loads of people draw triangles outside their house, then burglars come and steal their dogs.

Looking online the 'story' seems to be that it's your dog they are after either because the dog is expensive or for fighting. It also appears to be, surprise surprise, complete bollocks.

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Ive got facebook, but really never bother with it,being overseas many ask why it's great to keep in touch "not got the heart to say f**k off" anyway I still log on about once every 3 months, but that has changed as from today - sister is child minder, respected business for over 15 years, but I just had a wee talk with her and now all her child minder buddies have asked me for invite 'i was like wtf' but I seen some of their shite the put on day after a wee peek..I'm trolling like f**k...screenshots on the way.......I never thought FB was so fucking good

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Ive got facebook, but really never bother with it,being overseas many ask why it's great to keep in touch "not got the heart to say f**k off" anyway I still log on about once every 3 months, but that has changed as from today - sister is child minder, respected business for over 15 years, but I just had a wee talk with her and now all her child minder buddies have asked me for invite 'i was like wtf' but I seen some of their shite the put on day after a wee peek..I'm trolling like f**k...screenshots on the way.......I never thought FB was so fucking good

Chortle. It took two reads but I get your gist. I look forward to the carnage!

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