sjc Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 1 minute ago, Sweaty Morph said: Dead person with Facebook alert... I still have a friend request notification from a girl that hanged herself a few years ago (I only noticed the request after she died). Nothing funny about that but I've remained unsure what to do with the request ever since noticing it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 2 minutes ago, pandarilla said: Sounds like he's more of a c**t if you ask me... Way ahead of you there mate. See my 1st post regarding the c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Dead person with Facebook alert... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 this was liked by one of my friends Quote Mummy is not ill. That would be a silly and foolish notion, because mummies don’t get ill, do they? Daddies get ill, children get ill, but mummies do not get ill. Grannies probably also do not get ill, as technically they are also mummies. Mummies can be ‘a bit under the weather’, and ‘not feeling that great’, but never, never sick, regardless of whether they are erupting from both ends like Vesuvius, or attempting to cough up a lung and making noises like a an angry sea lion, with phlegm streaming from various orifices (Mummy would like to make it clear at this point that her current ‘not ill’ affliction is very much of the coughing and phlegm variety and not of the explosive diarrhoea kind). Mummy is especially not ill while on her own with two children and a husband who thinks it is helpful for him to send her photographs of the cocktails he is currently drinking in Singapore along with complaints he wasn’t allowed in to the Writers’ Bar at Raffles because he wasn’t a writer or a resident (maybe he should have taken his wife then- you know, THE ONE WHO JUST WROTE AN ACTUAL BOOK!). But of course Mummy can’t be ill, can she? Someone who was actually ill would be allowed to languish on the sofa, alone and palely loitering. Someone who was actually ill wouldn't find herself doubled over in the hall, coughing until she was nearly sick, only be coldly informed by an irritated child that perhaps she should have a drink of water because he could not hear the TV over the noise she was making (not that he even offered to fetch the water). Someone who was ill would not be expected to provide three hearty meals a day, plus snacks approximately every twenty minutes; referee endless fights; be summonsed constantly to find some precious missing object which is cunningly hiding in plain sight, and do four loads of laundry because no fucker put ANY school uniform in the wash last week and so now they have nothing clean for tomorrow (hurrah for non- iron uniform though, a wondrous thing that was definitely invented by a woman). Someone who was sick would not have to take the brimming bin out because it is easier than repeatedly asking one of the precious moppets to do it and then clearing up the resulting mess when they drop the bag and spill rubbish everywhere. Someone who was sick would not foolishly think that maybe, just maybe, since everything was done and the cherubs had been recently fed and were peacefully entertaining themselves for once, that she could curl up quietly on the sofa for twenty minutes to have a nap, only to be rudely awoken after three minutes by a small child insisting nothing would do but that he plays Lego b*****ding Dimensions on the PS Cocking 4, but to do so needs all of the eleventy fucking billion remotes to turn on all the sodding gadgets that his arsehole of a Gadget Twat father has connected to the TV, and of course HE CAN’T FIND ONE OF THE REMOTES and so Mummy needs to wake up NOW and find it, because he can’t possibly wait, and then she has to watch him play Lego b*****ding Dimensions at full volume even though her hair hurts and she hasn’t a clue what is going on in the stupid game and why one minute there are hobbits and Gandalf and the next there is Batman. So of course Mummy isn’t ill. What a silly idea. Everyone knows mummies don’t get ill, so Mummy’s large measure of Daddy’s best single malt definitely isn’t medicinal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 TL;DR 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 So, who on p&b is currently in Singapore? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Gave up reading that pish when it started to genuinely annoy me. Woe betide, you're ill and want to do f**k all but can't because you've bairns. Don't fucking have bairns then you stupid ill c**t.Feel better now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 (edited) The mummies I work with sure as hell take a lot of sick time considering they don't get ill. Maybe management should look into that. Ma's day here in the US and in addition to the usual posts to deid Mothers (angles watching us from heaven) and "I'm a mother and therefore, superwoman" pish; this year's annoyance is women congratulating their mates for being mothers. It's been going on all week and it's making me wonder how far up their own arses these women can get. Edited May 14, 2017 by Shotgun Speeling and grammer and stuff 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Sounds like Mummy's made a cracking job of cocking her life up and making herself miserable. Still, no doubt blaming the spouse and kids that she resents will sort everything out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resk Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Gave up reading that pish when it started to genuinely annoy me. Woe betide, you're ill and want to do f**k all but can't because you've bairns. Don't fucking have bairns then you stupid ill c**t.Feel better now. Aye. Although TBF to her, she is the first ever human to discover that having bairns might be challenging, tiring and stressful. It's not like she could have found this out prior to procreating children from out of her fud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 TL;DR UP;DR*Utter Pish; Didn't Read 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 So, who on p&b is currently in Singapore? Why? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Why? Come on swarley, get with the program. The original rant is about her husband currently drinking in Singapore while her life collapses around her ankles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I didn't manage to read that far. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I didn't manage to read that far. I've got stamina for sifting through shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 What does she expect him to do for her from Singapore? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 13 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Sounds like Mummy's made a cracking job of cocking her life up and making herself miserable. Still, no doubt blaming the spouse and kids that she resents will sort everything out. It doesn't say "Share if you agree" and thus is a spoof by the OP. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 3 hours ago, Bully Wee Villa said: I didn't manage to read that far. Yeah what he said. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Yeah what Tl;dr. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al B Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) On 14/05/2017 at 09:54, sjc said: I still have a friend request notification from a girl that hanged herself a few years ago (I only noticed the request after she died). Nothing funny about that but I've remained unsure what to do with the request ever since noticing it. Just delete it mate, she's dead. Edit: Do you ever wonder if you'd noticed it earlier, maybe she'd still be alive? Edited May 15, 2017 by Al B 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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