Annoying things people write on Facebook

[Romeo]

On 19/07/2020 at 21:34, 19QOS19 said:

Then again I am on a 5 figure income.

£134.96?

Edited July 23, 2020 by Romeo

[19QOS19]

£134.96?

I'm not that wealthy!

[ajwffc]

This shit is back again

POLICE BULLETIN
Warning!!!

People are going door to door handing out masks, they say it’s a new initiative from local government. They will always ask you to please put it on to see if it fits you. It has been doused with chemicals which knocks you out cold and once you're knocked out they proceed to rob you. Please do not accept masks from strangers. Remember, we are living in critical times and people are desperate to take advantage with the aim of making money. Crime rate has skyrocketed, so please be cautious and play safe!

Please send to all your friends, colleagues and loved ones so as to help them stay vigilant in this adverse situation.

[Shotgun]

2 hours ago, ajwffc said:

Crime rate has skyrocketed, so please be cautious and play safe!

Skyrocketed? Since the Covid outbreak, crime in the UK has dropped around 28%. (In the US it's 23%). Obviously people who share this crap are utter wanks but you have to wonder at the mental state of whoever took the time to invent it in the first place. Why?

Crime in UK falls sharply since start of coronavirus lockdown

[Raidernation]

This shit is back again

POLICE BULLETIN
Warning!!!

People are going door to door handing out masks, they say it’s a new initiative from local government. They will always ask you to please put it on to see if it fits you. It has been doused with chemicals which knocks you out cold and once you're knocked out they proceed to rob you. Please do not accept masks from strangers. Remember, we are living in critical times and people are desperate to take advantage with the aim of making money. Crime rate has skyrocketed, so please be cautious and play safe!

Please send to all your friends, colleagues and loved ones so as to help them stay vigilant in this adverse situation.

I’m pretty certain there’s not a single chemical that has that effect, even chloroform takes a couple of minutes

[hearthammer]

15 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I’m pretty certain there’s not a single chemical that has that effect, even chloroform takes a couple of minutes. . . . . . . . . . . . allegedly  !!!

 

FTFY     Original case dismissed.

[Derry Alli]

On 23/07/2020 at 00:01, Todd_is_God said:

Seen a few "front line" shopworkers (one works in a chippy, the other in B&M) absolutely seething today that Boris Johnson isn't giving them a pay rise.

I do get a good chuckle when places put up "10% off for emergency services" and the first 200 comments are folk just writing "WIT ABOOT AW THE OTHER KEY WORKERS AHE?!?" 

[Stellaboz]

The amount of football fans in Scotland who post boring shit up about "their" English team. What a fucking nonsense. I'm someone who grew up watching Arsenal as a bit of a hobby until Henry left, but the sheer amount of clinging on that some people have is embarrassing. Suddenly Liverpool fans everywhere too. I'd rather grate my balls and douse the remains in salt than be a fan of fucking Liverpool for the sheer hell of it ffs. 

[thistledo]

45 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

The amount of football fans in Scotland who post boring shit up about "their" English team. What a fucking nonsense. I'm someone who grew up watching Arsenal as a bit of a hobby until Henry left, but the sheer amount of clinging on that some people have is embarrassing. Suddenly Liverpool fans everywhere too. I'd rather grate my balls and douse the remains in salt than be a fan of fucking Liverpool for the sheer hell of it ffs. 

100% agree, don't understand this at all. Fair enough if you lived in an another area and followed that team, but to randomly pluck an English team (or any other team for that matter) not go to the games, act like you're excited when they do well and care about the club is right oddball behaviour. 

[CM.]

57 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

The amount of football fans in Scotland who post boring shit up about "their" English team. What a fucking nonsense. I'm someone who grew up watching Arsenal as a bit of a hobby until Henry left, but the sheer amount of clinging on that some people have is embarrassing. Suddenly Liverpool fans everywhere too. I'd rather grate my balls and douse the remains in salt than be a fan of fucking Liverpool for the sheer hell of it ffs. 

I support Blackburn and post semi regularly about them (mainly just sharing posts from the official page), although I do actually go to games semi often.

Get what you mean though. Have several folk on facebook who have Man City/Liverpool etc cover photos yet have barely been outside their home town in their life never mind going down to see either of those sides.

Edited July 28, 2020 by C. Muir

[D.A.F.C]

Its odd behaviour.
Know a guy who at school went to the occasional pars game. Now its all about celtic and man United.
Even banters with another guy I know about Liverpool.

You just like them because they won things. I enjoyed watching man united during the 90s but would never claim to be a fan or supporter.

No idea why people outside Glasgow support the OF either.

[Gordon EF]

I understand why folk tend to pick a team if they watch a lot of a certain league. Back in the days of football Italia on channel 4, a few of us would watch it and we'd all kind of pick a team to 'support'. It made it a bit more interesting. But these folk from Alloa or wherever who act like Man City or Liverpool super-fans and banter back and forth online, it all feels deeply pathetic to me. Is your life so lacking in other things that you need to try and bask in the reflected glory of a club like that?

[tongue_tied_danny]

A guy I used to work with, despite being Scottish, "supports" Liverpool and England. 

After the Scotland v England friendly a few years ago he thought he could wind everyone up by cutting a picture of Wayne Rooney out of The Sun and pinning it up next to his desk. This lifelong die hard Liverpool fan reads The Sun and pins up pictures of Man United players.

[Highland Capital]

There was a guy in my class in college who was born in England but had lived in Glasgow most of his life.  He supported Real Madrid...

[thistledo]

A lad I used to work with, lived in Falkirk most of his life, but supported Tottenham Hotspur because he liked Glenn Hoddle's style of football and the fact he was a born again Christian.

He was an absolute oddball, decided he was going to become a woman at one point, I heard stories of him coming into the office in a big summery dress and cross trainers, eventually he decided it wasn't for him and went back to being a man. For a while though, he was probably the only lass in the office that knew the off-side rule. 

Edited August 3, 2020 by thistledo

[19QOS19]

My nana passed away last night and of course it becomes a rush to see who can post the most grief stricken nonsense on that awful website. I don't have it but my Mrs showed me some of the messages and a recurring thing is pictures of people holding my nana's hand. Is this a thing now?! I find it extremely distasteful and outright weird if I'm honest. Two things came to my mind when I saw it: 1. Why the f**k would you be taking pictures of someone about to die and 2. Why would you share such a picture with the world?

As I say, I don't have FB so this may well be the latest trend but it's fucking weird if you ask me and fits in well with that side of my family either way.

[Stellaboz]

28 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

My nana passed away last night and of course it becomes a rush to see who can post the most grief stricken nonsense on that awful website. I don't have it but my Mrs showed me some of the messages and a recurring thing is pictures of people holding my nana's hand. Is this a thing now?! I find it extremely distasteful and outright weird if I'm honest. Two things came to my mind when I saw it: 1. Why the f**k would you be taking pictures of someone about to die and 2. Why would you share such a picture with the world?

As I say, I don't have FB so this may well be the latest trend but it's fucking weird if you ask me and fits in well with that side of my family either way.

That actually makes me angry to think about. The thought of anyone posing with my mum or dad when they passed away genuinely makes me want to take a crowbar to their face. 

For me, grief is something that is private and not to share with the world like a selfie with a Starbucks coffee. 

Tasteless. My genuine condolences to you though, hopefully this little rant has amused you at the very least. 

[ajwffc]

One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks. “What’s this?” she asked.
“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.
“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.
Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”
“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”
“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .
“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
"Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.
“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing - being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”
This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet.
Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.

[ajwffc]

[DA Baracus]

On 30/07/2020 at 14:07, 19QOS19 said:

My nana passed away last night and of course it becomes a rush to see who can post the most grief stricken nonsense on that awful website. I don't have it but my Mrs showed me some of the messages and a recurring thing is pictures of people holding my nana's hand. Is this a thing now?! I find it extremely distasteful and outright weird if I'm honest. Two things came to my mind when I saw it: 1. Why the f**k would you be taking pictures of someone about to die and 2. Why would you share such a picture with the world?

As I say, I don't have FB so this may well be the latest trend but it's fucking weird if you ask me and fits in well with that side of my family either way.

You are correct. It's weird, distasteful, disrespectful attention seeking scumbag behaviour