Worst place you've ever worked?

[Guest]

Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages.

I was going to post about a shit job I had washing dishes, think I'll leave it after reading that.

[roverthemoon]

The overall theme may be depressing but the way it's written makes it the funniest story in this whole thread.

Agree. Cracking story told brilliantly.

[Sergeant Wilson]

Must have been a slow get away. £10k in pound coins would be pretty heavy.

Off topic but true...A robber mugged the security man delivering change to the old Safeway in Airdrie. The guy had a shopping trolley full of change. The MUGger made his escape with the trolley...........up hill. He got about twenty yards before being aprehended, barely alive still trying to shove it up the hill.

This didn't make me laugh at all. If it's true, it's horrifyingly sad.

Aw shut up, they're only fucking coos!

Edit to get the quotes and comments in the right order.

[Scary Bear]

Worked for two months at a fish factory in Eyemouth - 5am to 9am six days a week tailing prawns (ripping live prawns apart with your fingers) then on call all day to unload the boats as they came in. Can't stand the smell of seafood at the best of times, I was permanently swallowing bile the entire 2 months.

Found myself broke and out of work so I borrowed a set of ladders and went door to door cleaning windows. In January in the middle of a cauld, cauld winter. Feart o heights and standing shivering at the top of an icy ladder washing windows in the snow.

Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages.

f**k me. That's a grim tale. My morning as a cow murderer.

[rustyarabnuts]

After leaving the RN, I signed up for a welding course (bru money +£10 and travel expenses) which promised a job at end.

Loved the course and really enjoyed welding,saved me tons of cash repairing my own cars,but......

ended up on a temporary part-time job with Ross and Bonnyman up in Forfar,I thought -brilliant, building tailgates lots of variety etc etc but NO

was put in the trolley making department my job- pick up a rod, place in clamp, pick up small mesh panel,place on top of rod, weld 6 spot welds and place in wagon and repeat for 8hrs each shift all weekend most mind numbingly boring,tedious unexciting job I've ever done, put me right aff welding for good !!!

[throbber]

Nowhere too bad in Scotland but Oz was the worst for me for work. First of all we tried doing regional work myself and the mrs travelling about 13 hours into the outbacks to be greeted by the ugliest looking inbred hill billy i have yet to see, met the other back packers and they seemed alright to begin with and we got pissed for a couple nights in a row in the local bar there, We stayed in this strange hostel idea that was next tot he pub so it wasn't that isolated. On our 2nd day there the farmer took me and the mrs into a room and had a word with us and asked us if we were looking for "paid work" we were pretty go smacked and were like yeah obviously, they said they didn't have full 3 months work for us but would help us out if we needed it and we could work else where so long as we worked a bit for them when they needed it and would get paid. I lined myself up with decent work with a concreter paying 25 $ per hour but couldn't start for another 2 weeks so the farmer said if i stripped out this room in the hostel we were in he would pay me 500 per week, so for the first week i was on my own stripping off bits of plasterboard taking nails out etc and driving to the dump to drop it all off. Worked 8-5 every day and worked saturday to get it done, then the next week i worked full days helping this carpenter out and then on the final day of working before i started with the concretor the farmer came to where me and about 6 of the other back packers were having dinner and said something along the lines of "So your starting work on monday are you?" i was like yeah and then he said "well you will have to work a lot harder than you have been here, concrete goes off quickly and you can't just drop tools and leave when ever you feel like it" ai was pretty gobsmacked to say the lest and said i hadn't been like that there at all (which i genuinely hadn't i worked the entire time and didn't once stop before 5) then he said "Fair enough your not getting paid here but its not an excuse to act the way you have" I was honestly too shocked an dismayed to respond i thought he was actually joking then he fucked off and i was left with the other backpackers who it turns out had told on me because i hadn't been cleaning up my dishes in the kitchen. All the other back packers were about 25 - 30 as well and they had gone and done that, it was utterly pathetic and clearly showed how low some people out there really were. Horrible experience for me

[Colbert]

The summer after I left school I had a job delivering phone books. Over 1000 of them around rural Aberdeenshire. Not too bad in the villages, but doing the farms you were lucky to get through one every ten minutes. Paid 15p per book delivered plus something like £20 for fuel.

Working as a steward at T in the Park is a close second. It was the first year it ran on the Friday and the roads couldn't handle the traffic. The weather was horrific too, so the car parks cut up and made the situation worse. To top it off, when we came off shift we found out the staff campsite was six inches underwater.

[sjc]

Either the Shetland Gas Plant or the Borders Rail Project.........weak Management all too willing to deligate responsibility without providing any support or guidance.

The industry is full of fcuking speadsheet jockeys!

[Newbornbairn]

After leaving the RN, I signed up for a welding course (bru money +£10 and travel expenses) which promised a job at end.

Loved the course and really enjoyed welding,saved me tons of cash repairing my own cars,but......

ended up on a temporary part-time job with Ross and Bonnyman up in Forfar,I thought -brilliant, building tailgates lots of variety etc etc but NO

was put in the trolley making department my job- pick up a rod, place in clamp, pick up small mesh panel,place on top of rod, weld 6 spot welds and place in wagon and repeat for 8hrs each shift all weekend most mind numbingly boring,tedious unexciting job I've ever done, put me right aff welding for good !!!

My first job after leaving the RN was making body panels for MG sports cars. It was lousy pay but the boss would let me come in on my own on a Saturday for a few hours overtime, giving me the keys to open up and lock up myself.

So I'm spot welding hinge boxes, hunners of them. Place between electrodes, press the foot pedal, buzz, job done. You get into a routine and the time flies by. What I didn't know was every time the current flows, your watch stops. I noticed it getting darker outside but didn't think much of it at all. First I knew something was wrong was when I got home two hours later than usual. Worse, the boss didn't pay me for the extra two hours.

[Latino Lover]

Door knocking job in oz was fairly grim but met some good people and saw some nice areas. Since returning it doesn't seem as bad compared to grim Npower call centre, only in 4 hours a day at least will find something better and full time after the World Cup/summer. Full of buzzword type w****r bosses and bollocking you for looking at your phone.

[Sergeant Wilson]

I'm currently working in the Cumbernauld HMRC call centre. I used to quite enjoy it: decent hours, conditions and the pay is brilliant but by f**k, I absolutely despise it now. I increased my hours to near enough full time over Christmas when I wasn't at Uni and I think that's when I began to hate it. Virtually incessant abuse on the phones and when you're not dealing with that you're putting up with absolute weapons on a power trip within the office. Going full time over the summer because I need the money and the very thought is making me ill

You've disrespected the callers to Her Majesty's revenue, the servants within that department and, going by your user name identified yourself fairly clearly. I'd have a wee look at the conduct policy and make and appointment at the buroo.

[Muzz1886]

@sjc Shetland Gas Plant is a nightmare. Total and Petrofac.... a winning combination... ooft!

[cracowjambo]

I worked in New wave laundry for a few months it was fucking shit. Clipping bedsheets onto a machine 8hours a day, getting moaned at for talking to the person next to you and shit working conditions. I was glad I was laid off the agency were total c***s aswell saying they had no work in fife,Edinburgh or dundee

Viridor in perth was shit aswell it was a tinshed in the middle of summer smashing old tellys I lasted until my first break on my second shift and walked away.

[Rene Fonck]

Accountant at Ibrox

[I'm Brian]

I'm currently working in the Cumbernauld HMRC call centre. I used to quite enjoy it: decent hours, conditions and the pay is brilliant but by f**k, I absolutely despise it now. I increased my hours to near enough full time over Christmas when I wasn't at Uni and I think that's when I began to hate it. Virtually incessant abuse on the phones and when you're not dealing with that you're putting up with absolute weapons on a power trip within the office. Going full time over the summer because I need the money and the very thought is making me ill

Can you get me my fucking money please!!!!! Only joking, but I'm having a hell of a time with your employer at the moment trying to get my overpaid tax back. I'm polite on the phone though. I always realise that the person on the end of the phone hasn't caused your problem. A call centre is the last place I would consider working because of the abuse. It can't be pleasant.

Worst job by far was a meat processor down this neck of the woods. Left my previous job to come back home, I knew of this place and I could pretty much get a job at will at this place. I knew it was bad, but I just never realised how bad it would be. They are constantly on the lookout for staff, as they either sack them for petty little things, or what is more common people last about three hours and walk back out. Run by absolute muppets who walk around as if they are some kind of god. I would be surprised if they hadn't been assaulted on a regular basis. They pretty much sat and watched the workers on CCTV the whole day trying to catch them out. When you caught them out the two word response you got from them usually ended in the word off. I was out of work for a few months after this place and slowly watched my savings dwindle away, but any situation would be better than this place. It was absolute hell. When you started they wouldn't give you a new pair of wellies so god knows whose feet had been in them before. I'm pretty good and pretty thorough at what I do but it got to the point where I turned into an incompetent as I really didn't care. Maggots falling onto the belts from above was the final straw for me.

The smell was so bad that I can't describe it. On the plus side at least I can instantly tell one of their products as the smell has obviously been ingrained on my brain I can smell it as I cook the product. There is so much more I could tell but I'll just give you an outline

The meat industry is the absolute pits.

[jamamafegan]

Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages.

Ooft, that is rough. Barbaric stuff, I'm surprised you had the heart to do that - I certainly couldn't.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

Ooft, that is rough. Barbaric stuff, I'm surprised you had the heart to do that - I certainly couldn't.

It's not that difficult.

[Sergeant Wilson]

Worked for two months at a fish factory in Eyemouth - 5am to 9am six days a week tailing prawns (ripping live prawns apart with your fingers) then on call all day to unload the boats as they came in. Can't stand the smell of seafood at the best of times, I was permanently swallowing bile the entire 2 months.

Found myself broke and out of work so I borrowed a set of ladders and went door to door cleaning windows. In January in the middle of a cauld, cauld winter. Feart o heights and standing shivering at the top of an icy ladder washing windows in the snow.

Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages.

Did you not wonder why no-one else was doing it?

[DAFC]

Either the Shetland Gas Plant or the Borders Rail Project.........weak Management all too willing to deligate responsibility without providing any support or guidance.

The industry is full of fcuking speadsheet jockeys!

At my old work a solution to filling in too many spreadsheets was to fill the time spent filling them into another spreadsheet,

Was like a terrible version of inception.

[ScottR96]

You've disrespected the callers to Her Majesty's revenue, the servants within that department and, going by your user name identified yourself fairly clearly. I'd have a wee look at the conduct policy and make and appointment at the buroo.

Sorry.