Honest Saints Fan Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Bees are horrible. There is nothing worse than being trapped on a bus and one flies in the window. I've been known to play musical chairs trying to avoid it but they sense fear and follow me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Us Teuchters have trained an army of midgies to relentlessly attack the English and American tourists that invade our land every summer. I'm sure we could have a word with the king midgie and get them to turn on their wasp and bee brethren. There is of course a risk that the midgies will join forces with the evil wasp/bee alliance to bring an inevitable insect apocalypse upon planet Earth. Those little midgie shitgibbons would as well SJB, having been the victim of their attacks on more highland summer evenings than I care to remember I've absolutely no doubt they'd turn on us and join the Beerachnid Empire in a second. The Beerachgie Alliance...I'm fucking worried here, man, really fucking worried! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Look at it from the bee’s perspective: Us humans capture their relatives and force them into a life of slave labour in order to steal their prized possession... honey. The bee has two purposes in life, i) to make honey and ii) to go out on a high after stinging something. If bees don’t sting then they live forever. Big b*****d bumble bees are just very old bees still looking for something good to sting, like a bee version of a suicide-bombing. They spend their whole lives building hives and making honey, only for us to steal and waste it by spreading it on toast or putting in honey nut cheerios. If some giant came up to my house and took every penny I’d worked for all year only to squander it all, I’d be fcukin pissed, so pissed I’d be willing to put my life on the line to get back at the b*****ds. Free the bees!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Do Bees know they are going to die when they release their sting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Look at it from the bee's perspective: Us humans capture their relatives and force them into a life of slave labour in order to steal their prized possession... honey. The bee has two purposes in life, i) to make honey and ii) to go out on a high after stinging something. If bees don't sting then they live forever. Big b*****d bumble bees are just very old bees still looking for something good to sting, like a bee version of a suicide-bombing. They spend their whole lives building hives and making honey, only for us to steal and waste it by spreading it on toast or putting in honey nut cheerios. If some giant came up to my house and took every penny I'd worked for all year only to squander it all, I'd be fcukin pissed, so pissed I'd be willing to put my life on the line to get back at the b*****ds. Free the bees!!! A Bee apologist, it was only a matter of time before the traitors crawled out of the woodwork. What's the Queen promised you? Court Jester role? All the honey you can suckle? You make me sick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 As for the matter at hand, we've got the swing oarks covered. A big b*****d bee was buzzing about the pushchair today so Adam saw it off with some mock-panicked arm-waving. I'm assuming it was mocked anyway. I'm happy to take part in a bit of bee-war, but someone else will need to take the spiders. They can break a man's arm, you know. You've got yourself a good man there, Mrs M. An arm-flapping, pretending-he's-scared-to-confuse-the-enemy, bee-killing son of a gun. Handsome laddie tae, if his Facebook profile is anything to go by. The bees have been engaged on the western front. I'm using a pool cue rest to push Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth wrestling figures that represent Mrs M and Adam across a big glass table in my war room. There's a wee spider strolling across the table but I'm non-plussed about it. Why? BECAUSE SPIDERS ARE OF LITTLE CONSEQUENCE, PEOPLE. It's World War Bee, not World War Bee and Spider. That sounds rubbish. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the bees will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. A traitor in our midst, eh? I just spat on my monitor. It achieved little, but trust me when I say the intention was there. When I am king you will be first inside the giant jam jar ya c**t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Free the bees!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Do Bees know they are going to die when they release their sting? Of course, they go to Bee heaven and for stinging a human they receive a free honey, 100 bee virgins and $10,000 cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherrif John Bunnell Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Of course, they go to Bee heaven and for stinging a human they receive a free honey, 100 bee virgins and $10,000 cash. Al Qabeeda? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 dundeebarry has been blinded to the obvious conclusion that many, many Hollywood films have taught me. The bees certainly look like the main baddies, but f**k me, they've been done away with and there's still half an hour of the fucking film to go!!! FUCKING HELL THE SPIDERS ARE THE REAL ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!!! Millions then die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Al Qabeeda? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Al Qabeeda? I hope I've got someone like KnightswoodBear covering my back while I'm taking on bees. That boy knows the score. Bees might be the enemy we're most worried about now, but don't think those sly b*****d spiders won't be plotting their attack while we're distracted. No, they're just biding their time. That's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 A Bee apologist, it was only a matter of time before the traitors crawled out of the woodwork. What's the Queen promised you? Court Jester role? All the honey you can suckle? You make me sick... No people, can’t you see? The wasps are the true enemy. Not only are they meaner and more agile but they can sting multiple times without dying. We must join forces with the bees against the common enemy before the wasp invasion comes in a couple of months. The wasps know about our armed forces cutbacks and that we are no longer able to cope with the aerial threat. 2012 is their best shot at wiping us out and stealing all of our sugary produce. The bees are our only hope. Join them and bee as one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 No people, can’t you see? The wasps are the true enemy. Not only are they meaner and more agile but they can sting multiple times without dying. We must join forces with the bees against the common enemy before the wasp invasion comes in a couple of months. The wasps know about our armed forces cutbacks and that we are no longer able to cope with the aerial threat. 2012 is their best shot at wiping us out and stealing all of our sugary produce. The bees are our only hope. Join them and bee as one! Pffft. Half empty coke bottle. Wee holes in the top. Wasps neutralised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyblair Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Bees can't read, man. They can sting, go to war and enjoy the penguin parade, but they can't read. If such a time comes when we need to hide in underground holes the Secret Bunker is still a prime location. As for tips on dealing with the enemy, well here's some footage of me meeting a bee when I went out for a snout a short while ago. Nae c**t messes, rajpelt. I think you are wrong here. I have seen Bee the Movie about 10 times and confirm that not only can they read, they can also talk and have proper jobs. Do Bees know they are going to die when they release their sting? If they don't know by now they bloody well should do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I've been warning about the patient, sneaky Spiders since day one, I feel like Jeff Goldblum in Independance Day here. Sure Barry might be running round with his Cigars, dog tags and witty one liners looking like a handsome black man with machismo to spare, but just wait 'til I take my glasses off and get on that spaceship, shit is going to go down! I don't even need glasses, I've got 20/20 vision...sakes Hollywood! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Pffft. Half empty coke bottle. Wee holes in the top. Wasps neutralised. No. No holes. You need to be able to close the lid and seal it tight so there's no escape. Watch them tire themselves out trying to find an exit before you give it a big f**k-off shake up. That's the only way these b*****ds learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 dundeebarry has been blinded to the obvious conclusion that many, many Hollywood films have taught me. The bees certainly look like the main baddies, but f**k me, they've been done away with and there's still half an hour of the fucking film to go!!! FUCKING HELL THE SPIDERS ARE THE REAL ENEMY!!!!!!!! !!!! Millions then die. Here's the thing, Knightswood, and I want you to pay attention here because you're perilously close to shortly be finding me shitting on your car bonnet and poking myself up the dunger with a windscreen wiper here: the killer spiders you see in Hollywood productions aren't real. It's all CGI and painted mop heads. Unless anyone's posting from Australia or the jungle there is no need to fear spiders. Spiders pose no threat to our civil liberties. Spiders are all right. Some unity is required here, brothers and sisters. Do not let the bees divide and conquer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 No. No holes. You need to be able to close the lid and seal it tight so there's no escape. Watch them tire themselves out trying to find an exit before you give it a big f**k-off shake up. That's the only way these b*****ds learn. But if you shake it up then we can't use it as a sticky, cokey, fucked off wasp grenade once the Spiders show their true colours and use our own defense systems against us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 The bees are our only hope. Join them and bee as one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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