Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I've been stung by a bee and bitten by a horse. Let's hope this was a one off and horses haven't turned carnivorous and teamed up with the bees. Mounted bees on carnivorous horses. It doesn't get much worse, trampling, stinging and eating all the people and spiders. Jeezo. 6 pages in and not one mention of horse flies. These b*****ds make bees look like a Beetrix Potter character. Bees are cutish, furryish, and pollinate our crops. Horse flies inflict misery and suffering for fun. I've been bitten twice by a horsefly. Both times my foot / hand swelled up to Elephant Man style proportions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K.T Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 The traitors have killed Nic Cage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Bees? Spiders? Midgies? Wasps? Horse Fly's? f**k THIS!!! I say we declare war against the whole Insect and Arachnid populations, every last one of them, from the beautiful Highlands to the deepest Amazonian Jungles, take them all down before they rise up and kill us all, a pre-emptive strike before they can gather together their full winged beastie power. Sure it might be bad for the eco-system and that, but all that global warming, noxious gases, symbian lifeforce stuffs just a myth, right? right? Aye, it is, that's what I thought. This is war people, and there's only one thing for it - WIPE THEM OUT...ALL OF THEM!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Gus Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 After the old firm game yesterday I was sitting enjoying the sunshine outside a "salt of the earth type" boozer in Dundee called Ferraris. A few bee's were flying about, there were the usual "they are early this year" comments despite about 20 people standing about with their tops off sweating in the sun. There was a commotion over at one of the other tables as this guy from Mid called Norrie got out of his seat and started pummeling at the air with his not inconsiderable fists. "Hold that ye wee c**t. I ken that bees are more placid than their wasp cousins but that wee c**t was askin' fir a crack" The guy had punched a bee in the pus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I only got stung once by a bumblebee whilst in ballachulish camping. It got me through the sock but was still sair as hell. I remember picking them up by the wings when a kid but if one came near me now id jump a double decker to get away from the fucker. Yersterday i saw a ladybird and today i saw two and its been years since i saw some of them.i remember one year there were swarms of millions of them over the uk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Listen guys, just back from a scouting mission,it doesn't look good, they a rounding up prisoners and throwing them into Guantanamo style cages. What goes on is not pretty, take my advice, if you get cornered, chow down on the cyanide pill and just drift off, it's for the best. Whatgoes on in that place is beyond description, I manged to get one photo and had to retreat, save yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Barry on his next venture outdoors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South Lanarkshire Jag Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 A bee toyed with coming into my bathroom as i dried myself off from a shower. I simply bawled "f**k off you" and the wee fucker shat itself. Must have got it's pals on me as when i was carrying my beer home an hour later 4 of the fuckers kept flying about my head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 After the old firm game yesterday I was sitting enjoying the sunshine outside a "salt of the earth type" boozer in Dundee called Ferraris. A few bee's were flying about, there were the usual "they are early this year" comments despite about 20 people standing about with their tops off sweating in the sun. There was a commotion over at one of the other tables as this guy from Mid called Norrie got out of his seat and started pummeling at the air with his not inconsiderable fists. "Hold that ye wee c**t. I ken that bees are more placid than their wasp cousins but that wee c**t was askin' fir a crack" The guy had punched a bee in the pus. Not advisable. They bite as well. Or was that a wasp? f**k knows, they're b*****ds anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 No is defo the other way around. Bees, one shot at glory then brown bread. Utter mince, I'm sad to tell you. I can't be bothered reading past page one to see if anyone else corrected you, but only one type of bee dies after stinging you (pretty sure it's the honey bee, so the bumble bees that we regularly see in the UK can sting you for fun!)... several types of wasps will die if they sting you though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I'm sitting in a pizza express in london and every c**t is laughing and joking like there was nothing wrong. Spirit of the blitz and all that. Of course the place is maybe just full of johnny foreigner halfwits who haven't a clue what the score is. I'm the only c**t with my face tripping me ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Fuck yeah! Hornets, bees and wasps.....the new axis of evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gy diamond Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Well I have had to take on the Bee invasion of Grimsby today on my own. waiting on my start up pack from DundeeBarry's army I had some explaining to do at the pub when I turned up with a tennis racket. They came at me in numbers but I managed to fend them off with the tennis racket before I managed to sneak off inside to relative safety. The tennis racket is the perfect weapon because it requires less accuracy and can take out more than one at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_K_97 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Having never been stung by a bee, I don't fancy it much if it's anything like what happens here around the 50 second mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Utter mince, I'm sad to tell you. I can't be bothered reading past page one to see if anyone else corrected you, but only one type of bee dies after stinging you (pretty sure it's the honey bee, so the bumble bees that we regularly see in the UK can sting you for fun!)... several types of wasps will die if they sting you though. This is quite a common misconception. There are only one species of bee with barbed stings. Many more, if not all, species of wasp have barbed stings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulo Sergio Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Someone mentioned spiders a couple of pages back... I'm genuinely fucking terrified of spiders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Not guilty. Beyond collecting its brethren in jam jars and encouraging them to fight to the death, gladiator-style, as a youth, I did nothing to annoy that winged-devil. It was an unprovoked assault. MMM... maybe said Bee was on a mission. You seriously upset a large community recently...! Twas your good self that emblazened on this very forum your defection from White Puddins tae Red...! Nae amount o praying, whether it be to Mecca, Gala, Amusement Arcade or any other bingo establishment is gonna help. You have reached a crossroads in life, choices made at the hot food vendor's counter will ultimately decide the next cycle of events. Its Karma.... Ken...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Bloody hate bees and wasps. Annoying little fuckers. Been stung a few times and its not nice in the slightest. I'm one of the many folk that freak out when one comes near me, although im not as bad as I was just a few years ago. Realised ye just need to calmly bat it away instead of squealing the place down Apparently blowing on them gets them tae f**k? They dont like the carbon dioxide in our breath or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Bloody hate bees and wasps. Annoying little fuckers. Been stung a few times and its not nice in the slightest. I'm one of the many folk that freak out when one comes near me, although im not as bad as I was just a few years ago. Realised ye just need to calmly bat it away instead of squealing the place down Apparently blowing on them gets them tae f**k? They dont like the carbon dioxide in our breath or something. Halitosis, just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 They dont like the carbon dioxide in our breath or something. Don't try that with midges as you'll get every single one within a mile radius landing on your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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