CLANCY2KTID Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 I've had a quite a few dreams where I've made up a joke or heard a joke that's absolutely hilarious, killing myself laughing in the dream, everyone I tell it to loves it and I'm thinking to myself I must remember this joke, I must remember this joke. When I wake up I remember the joke, which is either utterly dreadful or just makes no sense at all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Last night I was part of a British Scouts vs Japanese Scouts war game that used live ammunition, killing a number of scouts (myself as a ~15 year old included). This could have genuinely lasted hours (felt like it). It took in our live ammo training in Scotland in which I lost a friend, an emergency passport renewal trip to Glasgow along with the trip down, a long wait for a Japanese visa appointment in their embassy, a meeting with the 9ft tall emperor of Japan who mocked me for only ordering a 3ft x 6ft mattress to put a sleeping bag on, war strategy training whilst over there and getting the side of my face torched and scarred in a screwed up "see, nothing to be scared of" flamethrower incident. I had a 6-shot revolver with lame bullets whilst hundreds of Japanese broke through with machine gun fire, wounding me before one walked up and put a bullet in my head, waking me up at 6am. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musselburgh Jambo Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Last night I was part of a British Scouts vs Japanese Scouts war game that used live ammunition, killing a number of scouts (myself as a ~15 year old included). This could have genuinely lasted hours (felt like it). It took in our live ammo training in Scotland in which I lost a friend, an emergency passport renewal trip to Glasgow along with the trip down, a long wait for a Japanese visa appointment in their embassy, a meeting with the 9ft tall emperor of Japan who mocked me for only ordering a 3ft x 6ft mattress to put a sleeping bag on, war strategy training whilst over there and getting the side of my face torched and scarred in a screwed up "see, nothing to be scared of" flamethrower incident. I had a 6-shot revolver with lame bullets whilst hundreds of Japanese broke through with machine gun fire, wounding me before one walked up and put a bullet in my head, waking me up at 6am. Not exactly marquis of queensberry rules, waking you up at that hour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Pikey Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Dreamt i opened a opened a fancy restaurant in the middle of a mucky scrap yard called " Bang Tidy Beef " Sign above the door was chopsticks with a wee bowl of beef and green peppers and the name in big white letters . Christ knows what was going on 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I posted about this on here before but I had a dream that I bought an old derelict school in Edinburgh in partnership with Gary MacKay, the ex-Hearts player. We had planned to develop it but to make some money I opened a kind of tuck shop thing in it. Bad news was that I was an alcoholic and was drunk all the time. I was working in the tuck shop when P&B poster Marshmallo joined the queue and started saying what a disgrace I was for being a drunk and that I'd never make a success of redeveloping the school. I woke up actually relieved that I hadn't sunk all my money into a doomed property venture with Gary MacKay. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 When I woke up yesterday I was certain I was dying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I dreamt last night I was in an old episode of Star Trek from the 60s involving a guy who could control minds. Then the bin men woke me up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I have numerous dreams in which I'm driving a car. Or, since I can't drive, trying. I've been in a car once in my life, think I went round in a circle at 15 mph for about thirty seconds. I know the basic principles behind driving, I know how the pedals and the steering wheel work and although I'd probably destroy a gearbox quite quickly I get how it works. Whenever I'm in a car in my dreams I have no sense of co-ordination. The throttle is either on or off and I'm always going far too fast when I'm moving. The wheel is far too large and far too sensitive. Every movement I make throws the car wildly to the side and I'm terrified something horrible is going to happen. Last night I dreamt I crashed Billy Connolly's car (which was blue) by trying to go through a gap that was too small while going off one of the exits from the Clyde Tunnel. The steering wheel was also on the left rather than the right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 About four months ago I started getting terrible nightmares, including the type where you're asleep, but you know you're asleep and you can't help but go along for the ride. Absolutely terrifying. Ended up going to the Doctor as I was fearing going to sleep given how vivid and horrific my dreams were. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Weird lucid dream the other night. Back into the Nazi era and used my iPhone to take a pic. Went back to the future and they had agents chasing me. Strangest part was; when I went back to sleep the dream kicked off in the same scenario. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Last night I ended up in a crazy golf course where instead of golf balls I had to hit a sandwich into a sandwich. Got it in two shots, hitting around an uncrossable chasm. Perfect shot that hit a cheese sandwich into a ham sandwich to create a perfect cheese and ham sandwich. That was just 5% of another crazy dream. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Last night I ended up in a crazy golf course where instead of golf balls I had to hit a sandwich into a sandwich. Got it in two shots, hitting around an uncrossable chasm. Perfect shot that hit a cheese sandwich into a ham sandwich to create a perfect cheese and ham sandwich. That was just 5% of another crazy dream. Fooken 'ell. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 7 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said: I have numerous dreams in which I'm driving a car. Or, since I can't drive, trying. I've been in a car once in my life, think I went round in a circle at 15 mph for about thirty seconds. I know the basic principles behind driving, I know how the pedals and the steering wheel work and although I'd probably destroy a gearbox quite quickly I get how it works. Whenever I'm in a car in my dreams I have no sense of co-ordination. The throttle is either on or off and I'm always going far too fast when I'm moving. The wheel is far too large and far too sensitive. Every movement I make throws the car wildly to the side and I'm terrified something horrible is going to happen. Last night I dreamt I crashed Billy Connolly's car (which was blue) by trying to go through a gap that was too small while going off one of the exits from the Clyde Tunnel. The steering wheel was also on the left rather than the right. C'mon Miguel, you've not only been in a car once in your life? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 11 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said: I have no sense of co-ordination. The throttle is either on or off and I'm always going far too fast when I'm moving. The wheel is far too large and far too sensitive. Every movement I make throws the car wildly to the side. I think I was behind you on the A8 yesterday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Last night I was in some large village around Ayrshire (a non existent place near Mauchline) and a space station sized satellite crashed into the high street. As a result, everybody who wasn't killed was rather pissed off about losing their mobile phone reception. I then went to a BBQ where nobody had any matches to light the firelighters. I went to the local shop to get some but it was Sunday and it was shut. As a result, we just ate the steaks raw. There was also a part where I was sitting next to another me that was talking away to someone else in a pub. I was particularly intrigued as to how this other me could possibly be talking in depth about something without me also thinking about it at the same time, questioning whether this person could really be me or one from some parallel universe. Starks Park also somehow featured, with the West Stand oddly being two tiered and fully terraced. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 7 hours ago, Dee Man said: C'mon Miguel, you've not only been in a car once in your life? Well, driven one. I thought the context was obvious unless you were incredulous about me driving a car once in my life in which case yes, I have. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 12 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said: Well, driven one. I thought the context was obvious unless you were incredulous about me driving a car once in my life in which case yes, I have. I knew what you meant, but you said it wrong. Don't say things wrong in future please. Thank you very much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I had a recurring dream when I was wee that there was an explosion or a fire in my street and I was like a watchie and had to phone for help. The "phone" was outside and was a huge board with rows of holes in it and balls too big to fit through the holes scattered over it. It worked by placing the balls on the holes to make the number. I could never get it to work and couldn't phone for help and that was when I woke up. Obviously a reaction to stress somehow but I don't know how because I'd only been about 6 or 7 at the time. Don't even set fires anymore. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 3 hours ago, stimpy said: I had a recurring dream when I was wee that there was an explosion or a fire in my street and I was like a watchie and had to phone for help. The "phone" was outside and was a huge board with rows of holes in it and balls too big to fit through the holes scattered over it. It worked by placing the balls on the holes to make the number. I could never get it to work and couldn't phone for help and that was when I woke up. Obviously a reaction to stress somehow but I don't know how because I'd only been about 6 or 7 at the time. Don't even set fires anymore. sounds like Connect 4 anxiety to me... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 sounds like Connect 4 anxiety to me... We couldn't afford connect 4, probably where the anxiety came from. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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