scotfree Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I'm a sleep walker. One time I woke up on my couch in the morning and stood up and felt something sticking to my lower back. Put my hand around to find out what It was...I had this brown sticky stuff on my hand....I had fell asleep on a bar of chocolate the wife had left on the couch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I'm a sleep walker. One time I woke up on my couch in the morning and stood up and felt something sticking to my lower back. Put my hand around to find out what It was...I had this brown sticky stuff on my hand....I had fell asleep on a bar of chocolate the wife had left on the couch. Thankfully, a sweeter ending than I was expecting 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Thankfully, a sweeter ending than I was expecting Oooft! It was not a nice thing first up.... I remember one time with an ex, I had went walking in her place and was having a piss in her sink when she caught me... As I said...an Ex.. And no drink involved. Edited July 9, 2015 by scotfree 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Oooft! It was not a nice thing first up.... I remember one time with an ex, I had went walking in her place and was having a piss in her sink when she caught me... As I said...an Ex.. And no drink involved. I assume you were a gentleman and removed the dishes first. The lassies like a man with a bit of class. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 A male member of my family (not me) who cannot be named for legal reasons told me about his dream this morning: In the dream he got up in the middle of the night to go for a pee, as soon as he'd finished his gentleman's sword came off in his hand. There was no blood or anything apparently and no pain, at this moment he pinched himself in the dream just to make sure it wasn't fake! Then he popped it in his pajama pocket, washed his hands and went back to sleep. The next morning he woke up and took it to a big castle where Chris Evans was dressed up as the wizard of Oz. In the bizarre world Chris Evans was the sort of supreme leader for some reason and said relative asked Chris if he could stick it back on. Evans said that would be no bother at all and as it was handed over said relative woke up. I don't know what this says about him, but it's certainly a bit strange 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lex Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Dreamt last night that Kanye West was my taxi driver and he charged me 9 quid to go home ( a journey that normally costs about £7). Thought can't believe that c**t is so rich and he's still ripping me off, no way I'm tipping him. So gave him a tenner and took the 1 pound change and gave him a disapproving look. Never said anything though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airdrie Onions Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Had a dream last night that me and Sam wise Gamgy were staying in a castle owned by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Kanye goes out one night so I tried it on with Kim but she turned me down. Kanye got back so me and Sam tried to escape on horses but Kanye was chasing us on an oliphant and we couldn't shake. Then i woke up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YassinMoutaouakil Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 All my wet dreams involve Kanye West. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 All my wet dreams involve Kanye West. All Kanye West's wet dreams involve me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I was dreaming that I was driving in a thunderstorm, and that the car was juddering and skidding, and just as the Lightning was about to strike, something fell over in the bedroom. I've never jumped up so fast in all my life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Had a dream when I was about 11 where I naked in the house, and somehow got tangled up with string. Trying to escape just made it worse. Ended up unable to move except for one hand, with which I was able to grab a pair of scissors. I was panicking like mad, and somehow came to the conclusion that the only way to escape was by cutting my knob off, which I did (pain and blood free, like Sonsteam's pal). The string fell away, and I was left with scissors in one hand, knob in the other, and a terrible wave of regret. Which is when my mum walked in on the scene, and needed to sit down with the shock. I started blubbering away about how it could be fixed, including the tremendous line, "they can do amazing things with plastic surgery these days!" Have fun with that one, Dr Freud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Well last nights was completely bizarre. I was on holiday with my parents and brother in Menorca (Cala en Bosch for those of you who ken the Island) We'd just arrived when we got a phone call from the Government to say that if we didn't get on a flight home immediately we'd have to travel back across the seas on a milk cage from a supermarket. As we'd just arrived we made the decision to stay and make our own way back on the milk cage. We duly went down to the supermarket and bought an empty cage which we decided we'd try out for size. I got in first, but I'm 6" and have massively sticky out, Lee McCullochy elbows so we can't fit anyone else in. The next thing I know I'm driving a massive ferry sized boat, which looks like a ferry but isn't, it's all posh inside like the ones at Monte Carlo, away from the marina. I'm stood right at the front, standing up with a massive white plastic steering wheel. When I turn round to look back at the island it's no longer the front at Cala en Bosch, but Largs. I keep blasting forward in this super quick, posh ferry thingy aiming for a big inflatable island, but the water's quite choppy and I'm a wee bit all over the place. Then things get even stranger. Serena Williams cycles past me, on a standard blue bike and I say to myself; "Christ she must be going quickly to be able to overtake this boat on a bike". As if seeing the best women's tennis player of all time cycling past you in the middle of the Irish/Mediterranean sea is a fairly standard occurrence. When I got to the inflatable island, which looked like a giant green lilo full of inflatable palm trees and inflatable sand, Serena was there. She politely told me that I wasn't welcome on the island and should go back to where I'd came from. As I turned round to go she said, "he can go too" and papped none other than former Falkirk and Livingston midfielder Burton O'Brien onto the boat with me. We exchanged pleasantries (him speaking with weird American accent) and I apologised for not being a very good captain. As we set off back to Largs/Menorca it began to rain and the sea turned a really dark shade of blue. That was that. Never did find out how either me, my family or Burton got home. Never found out why Serena Williams wouldn't let me on her magic island and never discovered if it was Largs or Menorca I was in. Last time I ever fall asleep during Wimbledon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Hoping that I dream about Serena Williams letting me into her magic private place so I can make you jealous tomorrow They're all mad on here, BTW; she's an absolute wid and I don't care who knows it. (I should just make that my signature) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I travelled to Russia to watch Saturn Moscow v Stenhousemuir in the cup winners cup. However, in the time between I arrived for the game (a couple of days before) and match day, Saturn Moscow were dissolved. My visa had been granted on the basis that I was there to watch the match so I was immediately deported. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Sitting in a dark room looking at a red light from the surveillance camera then I woke up with a nose bleed. Creeped me out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_K_97 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I had one a few nights ago that I can only remember in small bits. I remember being in a Tesco with my girlfriend and we were in the cereal aisle and I wanted coco pops but she wouldn't get them and instead thrust crunchy nut corn flakes into my hand instead and I was raging because I really wanted coco pops. Then suddenly I was outside on a large bouncy castle that my mate said was run by Craig Levein. Man, dreams are weird 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Last night I dreamt that I was playing football on this sloping rutted pitch with a load of people I didn't know, my mate and a few famous types. World Rally Legend (and current works Citroën WTCC driver) Sebastian Loeb was my teams captain, and David Templeton was playing for the opposition. I was wearing a superdry hoodie and jeans, Templeton was in a full Rangers kit and Willo Flood was playing centre mid for the other team wearing just Aberdeen shorts. Not pleasant. Anyway Templeton took on and beat someone and I decided I'd give him a wee welcome to the game. As he ran forward I jumped in and halfed him He wasn't best pleased with me and jumped on me when I was on the ground. I was raging because he broke my sunglasses so went off in a huff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 The other night I dreamt I was living in Philpys kitchen (i recognised the worktop) and he came home one evening with tickets for a West Brom game. Did he still have his furniture made of pallets? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Anyone else occasionally dream that they're in Lord of the Rings or some similar fantasy setting? It's always on the brink of some great invasion, usually defending, and we're ill prepared. Last night I had a sharp plastic long dagger, but no hilt for grip. Half the dream was going around increasingly desperately trying to source a hilt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Did he still have his furniture made of pallets?I believe that is now in the Tate Gallery. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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