Stellaboz Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Through to Dundee game ? If so eh am out in town tomorrow. YasssAt 24 a pop? Am a f**k! Beering in the kingdom! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 But cheers for the offer lad, appreciate it. Hope we pump ye. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 But cheers for the offer lad, appreciate it. Hope we pump ye. Yeah but what about the football? ;-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Yeah but what about the football? ;-)Paul Paton to smash up Dens single handedly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Understandable bud. There’s no correct way in dealing with the aftermath of a parents’ passing. There’s no set time on how long you grieve. It may sound cliche, but just try and surround yourself with friends and family; reminisce about your old man. On the flip side, you don’t need to do any of that; if you need space from everyone, if you need to cry, shout or scream, go for it. You’d have to have a heart of stone to judge someone for mourning the death of someone they care about. Do what you feel is correct. Cheers. Don’t know how to deal with this. Never felt so low 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Paul Paton to smash up Dens single handedly. Eh will knock you out dickhead.Enjoy being home 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Made the total schoolboy error of scattering my mums and stepdads ashes in the grounds of their property and adjoining riverbank. House has since been sold so I now have no access to pay my respects on important, personal dates. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JTS98 Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 6 hours ago, supermik said: Made the total schoolboy error of scattering my mums and stepdads ashes in the grounds of their property and adjoining riverbank. House has since been sold so I now have no access to pay my respects on important, personal dates. Tricky one. I know it might feel like a poor substitute, but is there somewhere you could go that you used to enjoy going with them? Maybe a park you went to as a kid, or a restaurant or cafe? Somewhere for a walk? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Regards ashes, when Mrs. RN#2 died I followed her spoken, unwritten request and they went in the Forth at South Queensferry.Mrs RN#3 died there was a family plot in a cemetery here so that’s where her ashes went. Other than some to make some really nice and non creepy jewelery for her daughters.I’m unlikely to be back in Scotland anytime soon to be able to visit graves there for parents/brother but I’ve never felt a huge need.Maybe it’s me but I’m not going to fret over having somewhere tangible to “pay my respect” I think as long as I do remember them then that’s what counts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 On 13/12/2019 at 06:20, Stellaboz said: So I'm back today in Scotland first time since my dad's funeral last year. So nervous about it though. Going to go to the crem gardens where I scattered them both (that's fucking weird to see written down) and I hope it helps with the random dreams I have where theyre alive and I get confused, then upset when I wake. Good thing is seeing most of my pals Saturday with the missus, and a Stephens bridie. Welcome back hame, Stellaboz. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Genuine best wishes to all those who have been brave enough to post on this thread with their very personal and otherwise private issues. Hope that by sharing what's going on has helped to relieve any pressures and darkness in their lives. I see from the many responses that there's a lot of good guys on here who have been offering sound and positive advice or suggestions. Hope these have been taken on board by those who have felt the anguish the most. There are lots of ways to kick start things when you feel the doors are all closed and loneliness in particular is the bugger that's holding you back or dragging you down. Always remember, yer neebs are here on P & B. To add a lighter note for the good people on P & B, here's a light-hearted best wishes for what's left of the year and hope that 2020 is a lot better for those who have struggled through 2019. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Welcome back hame, Stellaboz.Cheers.Ended up going to the site where they "are" and spilling out my heart over a lot of stuff. Think it's helped and already feel better for it.I never had time to myself to do this and I think I can finally accept and move on properly. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 6 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: Cheers. Ended up going to the site where they "are" and spilling out my heart over a lot of stuff. Think it's helped and already feel better for it. I never had time to myself to do this and I think I can finally accept and move on properly. It definitely does help. I would stand and have full on conversations with my Mum at the grave every year around this time. It really helped as I felt I could talk about the good things she is missing and how the kids are. It really highlighted how good things are in my own life and helped me to some realisation. The death of a parent is never easy, but it is something that is most likely to happen to us all. I deal with it looking at my own kids and hoping they never get mentally ill due to my death, just like my mum wouldn't want me to over her's. This time of year is a joyous time for a lot of people, get together with family and go to parties with friends, however this can also be the worst time of year for many; dark nights, Christmas debts, away from friends and family, first Christmas without loved ones.... 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 To all intents and purposes, after a long uncomfortable meeting this afternoon, I’ve effectively been fired.Shite! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 To all intents and purposes, after a long uncomfortable meeting this afternoon, I’ve effectively been fired.Shite!That’s shite min, what happened? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 On 09/12/2019 at 06:46, JTS98 said: Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now. Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully. The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table. Mentally and physically felt fantastic. However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc. There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective. AA worked for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 On 14/12/2019 at 09:41, Raidernation said: Regards ashes, when Mrs. RN#2 died I followed her spoken, unwritten request and they went in the Forth at South Queensferry. Mrs RN#3 died there was a family plot in a cemetery here so that’s where her ashes went. Other than some to make some really nice and non creepy jewelery for her daughters. I’m unlikely to be back in Scotland anytime soon to be able to visit graves there for parents/brother but I’ve never felt a huge need. Maybe it’s me but I’m not going to fret over having somewhere tangible to “pay my respect” I think as long as I do remember them then that’s what counts That's me, too. I'm not even sure where my parents' ashes are, I think my brother might have them, or they're scattered in the Glens of Angus. I couldn't take you to my grandparents graves, although I know which cemeteries they're in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 8 hours ago, Raidernation said: To all intents and purposes, after a long uncomfortable meeting this afternoon, I’ve effectively been fired. Shite! Not good, don't do anything silly! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, Raidernation said: To all intents and purposes, after a long uncomfortable meeting this afternoon, I’ve effectively been fired. Shite! RN, keep your head up and stay focused on getting a) yourself back into a happy and comfortable place within yourself and b) scan the jobs on t'internet that are local to you in your area. I'm in the middle of applying for lots of jobs including some where i've never done anything remotely close to before. Had many positive responses and a couple of interviews. So, if an auld spud like me can get back into the work environment, then you'll be cooking. The important thing is that you be positive about things in the immediate future and the longer term will sort itself out. If you want a wee blether wi' an auld duffer who went through a dip not that long ago, then PM me and i'll be happy to share whatever's happening in a private chat. Stick with it, mate, and things will work out Edited December 17, 2019 by hearthammer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 On 09/12/2019 at 06:46, JTS98 said: Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now. Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully. The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table. Mentally and physically felt fantastic. However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc. There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective. I've been dry for 18 months now. The social thing is something where you just have to be honest with yourself and extract yourself from certain situations. When you wake up sober the next morning instead of regaining consciousness somewhere racked with guilt you start to appreciate that being sober (and enjoying it, rather than it being a chore) means making some fundamental changes to your outlook. I'm a bit snowed under at work to write a full reply but feel free to drop me a line any time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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