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Depression


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4 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I’m sorry for scaring you guys. Life is shit but better life than death

Don't worry about who you scared I'm just glad you're okay and I reckon everyone else here feels the same. You're a good bloke and loads of people on here care about you and are always willing to chat if you ever feel alone.

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4 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I’m sorry for scaring you guys. Life is shit but better life than death

You may not think that was any kind of statement. But you have no idea what a boost your perspective is to many of us whose heads go down every so often.

You've been through circumstances that nobody would wish on any human being - sharing your experience on here is clearly important to you, and I hope you understand that doing so gives us all a sense of balance and empathy.

Thanks for posting and please continue to do so - we are always here for you, and we bloody well appreciate that you post. We certainly benefit and learn from your experience.

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4 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I’m sorry for scaring you guys. Life is shit but better life than death

Glad you’re ok mate. 

5 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

I'm a bit worried - it's the middle of the night over there.

Hope to hear good news!

On a lighter note, no wonder you’ve got the wooden spoon. They’re behind us in time, not ahead. 

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16 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

I'm a bit worried - it's the middle of the night over there.

Hope to hear good news!

 

11 hours ago, Rugster said:

 

On a lighter note, no wonder you’ve got the wooden spoon. They’re behind us in time, not ahead. 

O.K., I was a bit worried - it was the middle of the morning over there.

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12 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I am going to admit myself to hospital. It will almighty certainly cost me my job and my home, and my family will hate me, but I need help.

Awful to hear what you're going through. Sounds like you're making the right decision. Take care. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

My wife is having a real hard time just now.

Her mum went into hospital last week with a diabetes-related illness . Her foot was in danger of needing amputated. My wife is estranged from her mum - she sends a card for her birthday and christmas, but they never speak. 

Yesterday her sister called her - things have gotten serious. We went to the hospital and were told that an infection entered the ulcers on her leg, and is now in her blood. She is not expected to survive. This is messing with my wife quite a bit - she went to the hospital to support her sister and her daughter, both of whom are quite distraught. But she didn't go to "say goodbye" as everyone seems to expect. Aunties and uncles all showing up offering my wife sympathy, and she really feels like she doesn't need it. 

Oh...and her dad - whom she has had no contact with for years - is also in hospital. 

She's really wrestling with the three big things of - what she feels, what she is "supposed" to feel, and how to support others who are affected. 

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4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

My wife is having a real hard time just now.

Her mum went into hospital last week with a diabetes-related illness . Her foot was in danger of needing amputated. My wife is estranged from her mum - she sends a card for her birthday and christmas, but they never speak. 

Yesterday her sister called her - things have gotten serious. We went to the hospital and were told that an infection entered the ulcers on her leg, and is now in her blood. She is not expected to survive. This is messing with my wife quite a bit - she went to the hospital to support her sister and her daughter, both of whom are quite distraught. But she didn't go to "say goodbye" as everyone seems to expect. Aunties and uncles all showing up offering my wife sympathy, and she really feels like she doesn't need it. 

Oh...and her dad - whom she has had no contact with for years - is also in hospital. 

She's really wrestling with the three big things of - what she feels, what she is "supposed" to feel, and how to support others who are affected. 

Horrible situation to be presented with. There is entirely too much of judging the behavior of people based upon what they “should” feel or do, without any knowledge of why they might not. The best strategy is probably to take the condolences in the manner intended and thank those people who don’t understand or accept the underlying dynamic, and then use you (if possible) or someone else who understands better to run interference if the person(s) start picking for an “appropriate” response.

-What she feels is what she feels, no one has the right to judge her for that, as it’s knowledge gained over a number of years and experiences.

-What she is supposed to feel is a societal construct with no relationship to her situation and she can simply discard it. She can accept the sympathy as an expression of support for her and then help direct those offering the support toward those more in need of it. Perhaps if she can consider the sympathy offered as a societal equivalent of saying “How do you do?”, that it’s the polite thing for these people to do, and they wouldn’t know how to react otherwise, she can accept it without it causing her stress.

-Supporting others is tricky, but the key is to be as empathetic as possible with others, because (as she clearly knows) their experiences with her mother are different then hers. She can reach out, and help comfort them, without feeling guilty exactly because everyone has differing experiences. If they move to questioning why she isn’t behaving in some prescribed manner, she should feel no shame or guilt for moving away from them to engage with others or, more importantly, take a break as they are trying to co-opt her to make themselves feel better…or possibly superior?

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6 hours ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Anyone good for a DM? I’m just looking for some advise, and to rant, I’m just wanting an opinion from someone who doesn’t know me

Aye, I'll be up for that. Fire away my man!

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