Depression

[Mr Bairn]

I can't really relate/help much with the family difficulties, although I too think my mother is an arse. I grew closer to my dad but our personality clashed far too much to be "mates"

I can, however, understand your anxiety over moving to a new city all alone. While I have never had a permanent home in a totally isolated city, I have some experience of it through interrailing in 2010. While everything at the start went smoothingly I arrived in Liege(Stop 3 or 4), got off the train and looked for travel information. I couldn't find it for 2 hours so basically broke down(tears and thait) on a bench outside while telling a pigeon to f**k off when it dared walk near me. After composing myself I went back in and found travel information, found my hostel and walked there.

My point is, presumably you will be visiting the city for your job. I'd definitely recommending finding a local pub/cafe that means you have somewhere to focus on when you move. If all you know is your job, house and some sort of social environment(said pub/cafe) then you'll get to know people eventually through simply asking "do you know where the nearest TESCO is?". The worst people can say is f**k off.

If you won't be visiting the city prior to job, then just make a personal pledge to make one friend on your second day. It pushes you out your comfort zone in an emergency.

I wanted nothing other than to be with my dad when we lifted the cup. It means so much to "dads and lads" and I'm gutted about getting beat and he's still giving me the "only a game" shite. f**k him. Next time I'll go alone or with mates.

Yeah if I'm moving I'd assume it would be for a job. Thing is even if I end up staying in Edinburgh, I still think my life would suffer a lot. The last few years have been the first time in my life I've been genuinely happy and I honestly don't know how to replicate it going forward.

[underdogunderdog underdog]

I wanted nothing other than to be with my dad when we lifted the cup. It means so much to "dads and lads" and I'm gutted about getting beat and he's still giving me the "only a game" shite. f**k him. Next time I'll go alone or with mates.

Yeah if I'm moving I'd assume it would be for a job. Thing is even if I end up staying in Edinburgh, I still think my life would suffer a lot. The last few years have been the first time in my life I've been genuinely happy and I honestly don't know how to replicate it going forward.

What have been the things that have made you happy?

[Mr Bairn]

What have been the things that have made you happy?

Being at uni. I'm not saying it's just about getting pished three times a week (although that is a big part of it) but the company there has made me happy

[Lyle Lanley]

f**k sake. I should be happy but i'm not. I'm feeling down again ffs .

When i've tried speaking to people including my bird they couldn't give a f**k about i'm feeling. I feel everyone is acting funny around me and i just can't take it anymore.

Edited June 1, 2015 by SOL II

[paranoid android]

f**k sake. I should be happy but i'm not. I'm feeling down again ffs .

When i've tried speaking to people including my bird they couldn't give a f**k about i'm feeling. I feel everyone is acting funny around me and i just can't take it anymore.

Maybe it's time to speak to you Doctor, Doyle?

[Raidernation]

I need to admit myself to hospital, for care reasons, but I can't afford to. I am in a really bad spiral

[paranoid android]

I need to admit myself to hospital, for care reasons, but I can't afford to. I am in a really bad spiral

Can you afford not to, mate?

If you need help, you need to ask for it.

Best of luck.

[EdgarusQPFC]

Update

Doing much better these days, found myself a healthy relationship with someone and it makes a big difference. For anyone struggling, keep your chin up. It will get better if you allow it.

[D.A.F.C]

Having a real hard time coping with my job lately and have decided that I have to move on. It's tough after working very hard to prove myself and do well only to be effectively told that I'm being kept back for any slim prospects because I'm reliable and hard working.

You really couldn't make it up. It's difficult to get motivated when you're being punished for trying.

Have to try and keep positive but it's hard to give up eight hours a day and weekends occasionally when you get nothing back.

Job market does seem to be picking up though. Just wish you could ask direct and honest questions at the interview! It all seems to be one way.

Not sure exactly when I crossed into 'f**k this' territory but perhaps it's a good thing to wake up and move on?

I'm not alone as at the last count five people in my department have walked out or never came back. I take some sort of pride from lasting so long, sounds daft but you have to grab onto something to try and stay positive.

[scmwell]

Looking for some advice lost my dad recently and i am struggling to deal with it having a bad effect on my home life. I have contacted gp but was wondering where else i could contact to get counseling etc?

any help much appreciated

[gav-ffc]

Looking for some advice lost my dad recently and i am struggling to deal with it having a bad effect on my home life. I have contacted gp but was wondering where else i could contact to get counseling etc?

any help much appreciated

My GP recommended me to FDAMH but that's just in Falkirk so I would perhaps ask your gp.

[pccabe]

Have just cane across this thread and would like to share my story.

I am a 43 year old police officer who also suffers from depression.

I was in a destructive relationship where I was beaten by my partner on a regular basis and as a man it was hard to admit this was happening and I went further and further into a downward spiral.

I made 3 attempts on my own life and was disappointed when realising I was still alive.

I finally got out and met my beautiful fiancee who has helped me to see I deserve love and to be alive.

I use my experience to make me not only a better person but better at my job and how I deal with people.

I am still on medication but in a much better place.

If you're in a bad place please call Breathing Space or the Samaratins and please see your doc.

I can also be reached as a listening post on here.

Take care everybody and I hope I haven't bored you too much.

[SweeperDee]

Looking for some advice lost my dad recently and i am struggling to deal with it having a bad effect on my home life. I have contacted gp but was wondering where else i could contact to get counseling etc?

any help much appreciated

You can always get in contact with Samaritans, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They wouldn't offer counselling as such, but they will provide you with an opportunity to explore your feelings and talk about them.

Hope you are well.

[BFTD]

I need to check this more. It's just very depressing to think about depression, of course.

Thanks to everyone who said nice things about my last post concerning my son's autism diagnosis. I haven't been reading, but I know there were some. He's getting on just fine; frankly, I don't think it's even a problem for him. It's just very easy to get all self-pitying about being responsible for it.

He's had a horrible penis infection lately, which has included lots of screaming and nightmarish pishing of blood clots, but hopefully that's not related

I need to admit myself to hospital, for care reasons, but I can't afford to. I am in a really bad spiral

Fucking hell, man, you were doing OK last I read

Health insurance not covering mental health expenses?

[Fireplace]

I've been feeling a bit up and down. When I'm down I get recurring thoughts of hurting myself. I dont' think I'll actually do it, I just get kind of mental images about the act of hanging myself or where I would go go to do it. It's quite disturbing but it passes. Aside from taht I am ok. I fight a lot iwth my girlfriend and think that the guilt about cheating (that's all over) doesn't help but i think it will fade.

I don;t know if anyone i know can guess i am like this does any1 else have this. whenevr you read about suicides its always a shock, everyone is baffled, i wonder if that's how it would be with me

[paranoid android]

I've been feeling a bit up and down. When I'm down I get recurring thoughts of hurting myself. I dont' think I'll actually do it, I just get kind of mental images about the act of hanging myself or where I would go go to do it. It's quite disturbing but it passes. Aside from taht I am ok. I fight a lot iwth my girlfriend and think that the guilt about cheating (that's all over) doesn't help but i think it will fade.

I don;t know if anyone i know can guess i am like this does any1 else have this. whenevr you read about suicides its always a shock, everyone is baffled, i wonder if that's how it would be with me

Hope you're ok, mate - have you spoken to your GP, or any of the help-lines about this?

[Hedgecutter]

I've been feeling a bit up and down. When I'm down I get recurring thoughts of hurting myself. I dont' think I'll actually do it, I just get kind of mental images about the act of hanging myself or where I would go go to do it. It's quite disturbing but it passes.

I don;t know if anyone i know can guess i am like this does any1 else have this. whenevr you read about suicides its always a shock, everyone is baffled, i wonder if that's how it would be with me

I felt like this almost every day for around 9 months until I finally went to my GP after it got rather out of hand. Been on anti-depressants for almost a couple of months now and my thoughts like yours have decreased markedly. Still get the occasional bad day but I soon realise that I've forgotten to take my tablet the night before. Don't know if missing just one can have that sort of drastic effect or whether it's just coincidence / because being down throws me off my routine. I should be absolutely delighted just now but it's a struggle so I'm not sure if the tablets given are i) something to with controlling it a bit, or ii) a magic cure. Bound to be the former I guess.

Moral of story: If you feel like you describe again and you haven't been to the GP, then sort out a visit at the first opportunity. It's tough, I know, but boy, what a difference it can make.

TBH, folk often say that making that phone call is the toughest part. I'd say that sitting in front of the doctor and 'opening up' about your problems was by far the toughest. Thinking to yourself about it all and getting the words out for somebody else to hear are very, very different things. Took me about 30 seconds to just say something to the doctor as I ate into my lengthy 5 minute appointment.

[tree house tam]

Sat outside perth royal infirmary, mates taken an overdose, 40 valium, 20 paracetamol, 10 ibuprofen and 4 eccies. Found him around an hour after he'd taken them. c***s absolutely fucked ! Canny speak, eyes rolling etc. Waiting on test results. Guys had depression problems for a while now, 3rd overdose.

[BFTD]

I've been feeling a bit up and down. When I'm down I get recurring thoughts of hurting myself. I dont' think I'll actually do it, I just get kind of mental images about the act of hanging myself or where I would go go to do it. It's quite disturbing but it passes. Aside from taht I am ok. I fight a lot iwth my girlfriend and think that the guilt about cheating (that's all over) doesn't help but i think it will fade.

I don;t know if anyone i know can guess i am like this does any1 else have this. whenevr you read about suicides its always a shock, everyone is baffled, i wonder if that's how it would be with me

Yes, you're not the only one.

The guilt will fade; don't do it again and you'll feel better about yourself over time. Get yourself to the GP - write them a letter and hand it over at your appointment if you find it hard to talk about.

Try and remember that the miserableness passes and you'll get back onto a happier state eventually. I had four solid years of solid, relentless misery, and I'm so happy that I put up with it now. Well, most of the time. And when I'm wishing I'd finished things back then, I just wait a few days and it evens out again You'll never know if it's going to get better if you don't stick around and see it through, which would be a bit of a waste.

[BFTD]

Sat outside perth royal infirmary, mates taken an overdose, 40 valium, 20 paracetamol, 10 ibuprofen and 4 eccies. Found him around an hour after he'd taken them. c***s absolutely fucked ! Canny speak, eyes rolling etc. Waiting on test results. Guys had depression problems for a while now, 3rd overdose.

Sorry man. Must be horrible. What help has he had for the depression?