Depression

[Venti]

Well done on 5months off the drink.

Seems like functions etc were a trigger for your drinking.

Keep it up Raider, stay strong.

[TxRover]

The terrible thing is the Director fails to realise what he does with a question like that. There are other and better ways to express concern and allow the individual involved to communicate what is going on. It’s disappointing that he is not better trained, but now you are the one that can guide him into that light, with the help of those others.

Smashmouth had it right, “I get knocked down, and I get up again…”. It’s been a very up and down few months here too, but this thread has helped me remember I’m not having it as bad as I feel sometimes, and lets me hopefully help someone else see that there is hope too. Stay the course, Raider!

[AyrTroopMajor]

My fiancee is currently at breaking point with severe depression and anxiety. She has found herself for the last 9 months as the sole carer for her Grandparents, both of whom have suspected dementia. In addition to her own full-time job, she is having to go round to their house every day to make their meals, pay their bils, clean up and generally keep their lives going, and often receiving abuse while doing it because her Gran's dementia is at a stage where she can be quite aggressive and she completely denies there being anything wrong with her, despite the fact that she sometimes does not even recognise her own husband, washes dishes with shampoo and can't remember the names of her own children.

 

There is no care package in place, so she feels completely alone. I help where I can but her father and her Uncle (her Grandparents' sons) just leave her to it and are completely useless, ignoring her cries for help and her messages to them saying that she cannot do this anymore more. She tried to report her concerns to Crosshouse Hospital last September when her Gran was in for an op, and they just responded saying that they 'don't test for things like that here'. Her GP was also informed months ago of concerns but they failed to follow it up.

 

Last week, her Papa fell and her Gran completely shut down, just left him lying on the floor all night. He is now in hospital. A request for homecare for both of them has now been submitted but we have been informed that this will take six months to be actioned. My fiancee cannot do this for another six months, she feels physically sick all the time, shaking with anxiety and talking about how she wishes she was dead. I have no idea what to do, I feel completely helpless. The only thing that will make this situation any better is for the burden to be lifted from her shoulders but being told that care is 6 months away was a hammer blow. She says that she would not take her own life because she couldn't do that to me but I'm sure plenty of people have said that and then been pushed to the point of no return. 

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, AyrTroopMajor said:

My fiancee is currently at breaking point with severe depression and anxiety. She has found herself for the last 9 months as the sole carer for her Grandparents, both of whom have suspected dementia. In addition to her own full-time job, she is having to go round to their house every day to make their meals, pay their bils, clean up and generally keep their lives going, and often receiving abuse while doing it because her Gran's dementia is at a stage where she can be quite aggressive and she completely denies there being anything wrong with her, despite the fact that she sometimes does not even recognise her own husband, washes dishes with shampoo and can't remember the names of her own children.

 

There is no care package in place, so she feels completely alone. I help where I can but her father and her Uncle (her Grandparents' sons) just leave her to it and are completely useless, ignoring her cries for help and her messages to them saying that she cannot do this anymore more. She tried to report her concerns to Crosshouse Hospital last September when her Gran was in for an op, and they just responded saying that they 'don't test for things like that here'. Her GP was also informed months ago of concerns but they failed to follow it up.

 

Last week, her Papa fell and her Gran completely shut down, just left him lying on the floor all night. He is now in hospital. A request for homecare for both of them has now been submitted but we have been informed that this will take six months to be actioned. My fiancee cannot do this for another six months, she feels physically sick all the time, shaking with anxiety and talking about how she wishes she was dead. I have no idea what to do, I feel completely helpless. The only thing that will make this situation any better is for the burden to be lifted from her shoulders but being told that care is 6 months away was a hammer blow. She says that she would not take her own life because she couldn't do that to me but I'm sure plenty of people have said that and then been pushed to the point of no return. 

There are many others much better versed on here, but have you looked at/contacted https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/worried-about-someone/?

[RH33]

7 hours ago, AyrTroopMajor said:

My fiancee is currently at breaking point with severe depression and anxiety. She has found herself for the last 9 months as the sole carer for her Grandparents, both of whom have suspected dementia. In addition to her own full-time job, she is having to go round to their house every day to make their meals, pay their bils, clean up and generally keep their lives going, and often receiving abuse while doing it because her Gran's dementia is at a stage where she can be quite aggressive and she completely denies there being anything wrong with her, despite the fact that she sometimes does not even recognise her own husband, washes dishes with shampoo and can't remember the names of her own children.

 

There is no care package in place, so she feels completely alone. I help where I can but her father and her Uncle (her Grandparents' sons) just leave her to it and are completely useless, ignoring her cries for help and her messages to them saying that she cannot do this anymore more. She tried to report her concerns to Crosshouse Hospital last September when her Gran was in for an op, and they just responded saying that they 'don't test for things like that here'. Her GP was also informed months ago of concerns but they failed to follow it up.

 

Last week, her Papa fell and her Gran completely shut down, just left him lying on the floor all night. He is now in hospital. A request for homecare for both of them has now been submitted but we have been informed that this will take six months to be actioned. My fiancee cannot do this for another six months, she feels physically sick all the time, shaking with anxiety and talking about how she wishes she was dead. I have no idea what to do, I feel completely helpless. The only thing that will make this situation any better is for the burden to be lifted from her shoulders but being told that care is 6 months away was a hammer blow. She says that she would not take her own life because she couldn't do that to me but I'm sure plenty of people have said that and then been pushed to the point of no return. 

Have you contacted social work in regards to the grandparents?

Also bypass your Mrs and go and speak to her dad, arsehole needs spoken too. 

[Richey Edwards]

7 hours ago, AyrTroopMajor said:

My fiancee is currently at breaking point with severe depression and anxiety. She has found herself for the last 9 months as the sole carer for her Grandparents, both of whom have suspected dementia. In addition to her own full-time job, she is having to go round to their house every day to make their meals, pay their bils, clean up and generally keep their lives going, and often receiving abuse while doing it because her Gran's dementia is at a stage where she can be quite aggressive and she completely denies there being anything wrong with her, despite the fact that she sometimes does not even recognise her own husband, washes dishes with shampoo and can't remember the names of her own children.

 

There is no care package in place, so she feels completely alone. I help where I can but her father and her Uncle (her Grandparents' sons) just leave her to it and are completely useless, ignoring her cries for help and her messages to them saying that she cannot do this anymore more. She tried to report her concerns to Crosshouse Hospital last September when her Gran was in for an op, and they just responded saying that they 'don't test for things like that here'. Her GP was also informed months ago of concerns but they failed to follow it up.

 

Last week, her Papa fell and her Gran completely shut down, just left him lying on the floor all night. He is now in hospital. A request for homecare for both of them has now been submitted but we have been informed that this will take six months to be actioned. My fiancee cannot do this for another six months, she feels physically sick all the time, shaking with anxiety and talking about how she wishes she was dead. I have no idea what to do, I feel completely helpless. The only thing that will make this situation any better is for the burden to be lifted from her shoulders but being told that care is 6 months away was a hammer blow. She says that she would not take her own life because she couldn't do that to me but I'm sure plenty of people have said that and then been pushed to the point of no return. 

I'd advise to phone up regularly and chase that application. Emphasise how difficult the situation is and the carer burden.

Forgive me for putting on my professional hat on a Friday night (I have worked in Dementia care and am currently training to become a mental health nurse), but based on the incident of her Papa being left on the floor all night I would say that this situation cannot continue as it is. From the point of view of avoiding harm occurring, something needs to be done ASAP.

BTW the "we don't test for things like that here" is BS. They could have referred to Elderly MH Liaison or the Community Team. You don't require a specific diagnosis to receive support from them. I know this for a fact.

It's a difficult situation and how your fiance is feeling is completely understandable, as is your feeling of helplessness. 

I hope this burden is soon lifted, but do chase this assessment and/or try to get a referral to the Community Team.

[Jacksgranda]

On 18/07/2023 at 19:46, Raidernation said:

Hello all, update time.

Had a hard couple of months, what with the death of a student and way too many anniversaries/birthdays, but I made it through by reaching out and asking for help (not something I've been very good at in the past). Also I avoided any "high risk" situations that I could, such as a "visitation", funeral, after-graduation and end of school year staff get-togethers, grandson's birthday party and "half-birthday" party for granddaughter (birthday is Christmas day) because lots of drinking/drinkers present at all these.

Was asked by the school's director if I'd been drinking again as I had to take a day off for sickness and diarrhea and several people noticed tremors (all previous signs of relapse). It's frustrating but understandable, so now I have to go over and above to keep them convinced (and not go down the previous route of "well if you think I'm drinking I might as fucking well)

Have had my therapist and IOP counselor get in contact with the school so hopefully that helps. I'm not concerned anyway now, I was really pissed off at the time but I have calmed down now, and I have to go pee in a cup tomorrow as part of my IOP so there'll be supporting evidence.

Now passed 5 months sober, but as scottsdad says it's like eating an elephant, one bite/day/hour at a time.

As a serial relapser who's been in residential/PHP/IOP many times I just want people to know that just because you fall down doesn't mean you can't get up. Someone once said (and I believed it for a while) that my history of treatment was a sign of failure, these days I see it as a sign of strength in that I will never stop trying.

Stay strong my friends.

Keep on keeping on.

[DA Baracus]

[Started writing this at the end of a boozing session on Saturday night when I was rather pished. Fell asleep on the couch (thanks caffeine pills!) and only now got to bed. Silly stuff. I will massively regret this when I sober up I imagine, but for now it's time for some good sleep. At least I fixed (most of) the spelling and grammar errors.]

 

The folk who post on here are fucking tremendous. Your stories are really emotional and often deeply inspiring. I think it's brilliant that so many folk share their stuff here.

I've posted loads on here, all pretty tediously. I've ruined my life.

What follows below is mewling pish from a fucking idiot who was too weak to halt the waste of his best years.

I would love to have had a kid. Think I would have been a good dad. Yeah it's a societal and/or biological need. I know. I've had a long, long time to think about my failures.

I now know I'll never be a dad.

Sadly I've fucked it. I'll be 39 in December. I'm currently 22 and a half stone. I'm a hideous disgrace who has run out of time. I've wasted my 30s hiding away in shame dealing with my mental issues poorly. I wasted my 20s too but at least I did some things then. I often wonder how/why I'm alive. I don't deserve to be is usually my conclusion.

I got in to a routine years ago of eating badly throughout the week (by which I mean I eat the same stuff for lunch every single work day and have the same dinners on certain nights, as well as simiar snacks each night). I don't even remember when it started but if I don't stick by the routine I feel terrible, like there's a weight pushing down on the top of my head. It clouds my thoughts and smothers my common sense, suffocating positive arguments against the good and stopping them reaching my conscious mind, or if they do break through massively negging them and stripping them of their agency. I feel increasingly worse until I give in, which I always do.

I have got in to an addiction/routine of eating in the evenings that I struggle to break.

I struggle to eat better in general, even though I know how, as breaking my eating routines makes my head hurt and makes me feel terrible, but giving in feels terrible too. I have a healthy meal and I like it and it's tasty, but I always cannot defeat my bad routines and go back to shit so often. 

When I was younger I used to fantasise about commiting crimes so that I'd be put in jail and forced to eat only certain things, which would break my addictions. I actually considered doing this a few times.

I've been single since December 2010. There were a few things since that could have led to something but I fucked them. I've hidden myself away and isolated myself due to shame and massive self loathing. I lost loads of friends doing this before and lost more doing it now.

Here's the massive minter, and I fully deserve ridicule for this; I haven't had sex since 2011. I'm so massively embarrassed and ashamed by this. I've never admitted this until now. Bad mental health has ruined my life. I often dream and fantasise about going back over 20 years and starting over. I know that won't happen. I deserve to die.

Ach, I'm not actually suicidal just now.  Have been a lot of times before. 

Used to indulge in self harm too. Ruined my the top of my right arm. Worst was when I placed a knife on my flesh then hit said knife with a hammer/mallet (yes, this was easy to do; yes it hurt and yes it bled, especially the shower the next morning). When I didn't do that I'd press the knife in to my skin then cut away.

Did some bad shit to my left thigh. Cut a ring around my left ankle too. Have a scar on my stomach. Have a couple of (shitebag) ones on the inside of my left wrist. Thankfully been a while since I've self harmed (years since I last did it; I used to get unpleasant urges).

 

Been back on fluoxetine for few months now and it's helped loads (was on it a few years back but stupidly punted it, thinking I was fine, which for a short spell I might have been but should have been back on them years ago)

Been doing some online therapy which is helping too (I was cynical about it but it really has helped; shame I only have 2 more sessions left).

Actually think I may be OK once I shed the weight. I know my weight is holding me back so much. My issues are breaking addictions and routines. Has been for so long.

I've lost my chance at having a home and a kid.

I now just want to meet someone but it will be at least 9 months until I'm close to being in shape. But I've been trying to do that for so long and mental health and addiction* had fucked that.

 

Ah fucking hell. That's my nonsense. Yes, I'm drunk (I had/have a huge problem with booze; since Feb 2020 I have had multiple beers every Saturday since, with a few, but rare, exceptions).

 

*Food. Yes, I am that piece of shit.

Edited July 23, 2023 by DA Baracus

[AyrTroopMajor]

On 21/07/2023 at 15:50, TxRover said:

There are many others much better versed on here, but have you looked at/contacted https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/worried-about-someone/?

Unfortunately the Ayr branch is permanently closed.  Haven't called them though, will speak to her about it and see. Thanks for your suggestion.

On 21/07/2023 at 21:42, RH33 said:

Have you contacted social work in regards to the grandparents?

Also bypass your Mrs and go and speak to her dad, arsehole needs spoken too. 

Thanks for this. There has been no contact with social work so far, her GP decided to send a MH nurse out to do an assessment which I assume is to test for dementia but her Gran refused to participate because she couldn't understand what she was being asked. I sent a message to both her Dad and her Uncle basically pleading with them to help and they ignored me completely. I couldn't believe it to be honest.

On 21/07/2023 at 22:05, Richey Edwards said:

I'd advise to phone up regularly and chase that application. Emphasise how difficult the situation is and the carer burden.

Forgive me for putting on my professional hat on a Friday night (I have worked in Dementia care and am currently training to become a mental health nurse), but based on the incident of her Papa being left on the floor all night I would say that this situation cannot continue as it is. From the point of view of avoiding harm occurring, something needs to be done ASAP.

BTW the "we don't test for things like that here" is BS. They could have referred to Elderly MH Liaison or the Community Team. You don't require a specific diagnosis to receive support from them. I know this for a fact.

It's a difficult situation and how your fiance is feeling is completely understandable, as is your feeling of helplessness. 

I hope this burden is soon lifted, but do chase this assessment and/or try to get a referral to the Community Team.

Thanks for this, very helpful. To be honest, the most difficult thing is that we have no idea who to speak to. Her Papa now has delirium and her Gran doesn't understand why he can't come home, but also is completely insistent that she is fine. When you say to chase the assessment, would you advise calling the South Ayrshire Social Work team directly? 

[Richey Edwards]

9 minutes ago, AyrTroopMajor said:

Unfortunately the Ayr branch is permanently closed.  Haven't called them though, will speak to her about it and see. Thanks for your suggestion.

Thanks for this. There has been no contact with social work so far, her GP decided to send a MH nurse out to do an assessment which I assume is to test for dementia but her Gran refused to participate because she couldn't understand what she was being asked. I sent a message to both her Dad and her Uncle basically pleading with them to help and they ignored me completely. I couldn't believe it to be honest.

Thanks for this, very helpful. To be honest, the most difficult thing is that we have no idea who to speak to. Her Papa now has delirium and her Gran doesn't understand why he can't come home, but also is completely insistent that she is fine. When you say to chase the assessment, would you advise calling the South Ayrshire Social Work team directly? 

Yeah I'd phone them and try to get GP involved as well. Be very specific and thorough about the level of difficulty and hardship that the situation is causing.

Tbh if I had received a referral with the same information that you've provided here, I would have wanted it dealt with ASAP. I find it astonishing that you all are in this situation without the support you need.

I assume that the assessment that the MH nurse attempted was an ACE-III assessment. It's not necessary a diagnostic tool, but it provides an indication of the extent of cognitive impairment. Even if the actual assessment cannot be carried out, things such as behaviours, level of insight, orientation etc should have been observed during the visit and taken into consideration.

Try to give Social Work and the GP a phone tomorrow.

 

[Delicate Flower]

6 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

[Started writing this at the end of a boozing session on Saturday night when I was rather pished. Fell asleep on the couch (thanks caffeine pills!) and only now got to bed. Silly stuff. I will massively regret this when I sober up I imagine, but for now it's time for some good sleep. At least I fixed (most of) the spelling and grammar errors.]

 

The folk who post on here are fucking tremendous. Your stories are really emotional and often deeply inspiring. I think it's brilliant that so many folk share their stuff here.

I've posted loads on here, all pretty tediously. I've ruined my life.

What follows below is mewling pish from a fucking idiot who was too weak to halt the waste of his best years.

I would love to have had a kid. Think I would have been a good dad. Yeah it's a societal and/or biological need. I know. I've had a long, long time to think about my failures.

I now know I'll never be a dad.

Sadly I've fucked it. I'll be 39 in December. I'm currently 22 and a half stone. I'm a hideous disgrace who has run out of time. I've wasted my 30s hiding away in shame dealing with my mental issues poorly. I wasted my 20s too but at least I did some things then. I often wonder how/why I'm alive. I don't deserve to be is usually my conclusion.

I got in to a routine years ago of eating badly throughout the week (by which I mean I eat the same stuff for lunch every single work day and have the same dinners on certain nights, as well as simiar snacks each night). I don't even remember when it started but if I don't stick by the routine I feel terrible, like there's a weight pushing down on the top of my head. It clouds my thoughts and smothers my common sense, suffocating positive arguments against the good and stopping them reaching my conscious mind, or if they do break through massively negging them and stripping them of their agency. I feel increasingly worse until I give in, which I always do.

I have got in to an addiction/routine of eating in the evenings that I struggle to break.

I struggle to eat better in general, even though I know how, as breaking my eating routines makes my head hurt and makes me feel terrible, but giving in feels terrible too. I have a healthy meal and I like it and it's tasty, but I always cannot defeat my bad routines and go back to shit so often. 

When I was younger I used to fantasise about commiting crimes so that I'd be put in jail and forced to eat only certain things, which would break my addictions. I actually considered doing this a few times.

I've been single since December 2010. There were a few things since that could have led to something but I fucked them. I've hidden myself away and isolated myself due to shame and massive self loathing. I lost loads of friends doing this before and lost more doing it now.

Here's the massive minter, and I fully deserve ridicule for this; I haven't had sex since 2011. I'm so massively embarrassed and ashamed by this. I've never admitted this until now. Bad mental health has ruined my life. I often dream and fantasise about going back over 20 years and starting over. I know that won't happen. I deserve to die.

Ach, I'm not actually suicidal just now.  Have been a lot of times before. 

Used to indulge in self harm too. Ruined my the top of my right arm. Worst was when I placed a knife on my flesh then hit said knife with a hammer/mallet (yes, this was easy to do; yes it hurt and yes it bled, especially the shower the next morning). When I didn't do that I'd press the knife in to my skin then cut away.

Did some bad shit to my left thigh. Cut a ring around my left ankle too. Have a scar on my stomach. Have a couple of (shitebag) ones on the inside of my left wrist. Thankfully been a while since I've self harmed (years since I last did it; I used to get unpleasant urges).

 

Been back on fluoxetine for few months now and it's helped loads (was on it a few years back but stupidly punted it, thinking I was fine, which for a short spell I might have been but should have been back on them years ago)

Been doing some online therapy which is helping too (I was cynical about it but it really has helped; shame I only have 2 more sessions left).

Actually think I may be OK once I shed the weight. I know my weight is holding me back so much. My issues are breaking addictions and routines. Has been for so long.

I've lost my chance at having a home and a kid.

I now just want to meet someone but it will be at least 9 months until I'm close to being in shape. But I've been trying to do that for so long and mental health and addiction* had fucked that.

 

Ah fucking hell. That's my nonsense. Yes, I'm drunk (I had/have a huge problem with booze; since Feb 2020 I have had multiple beers every Saturday since, with a few, but rare, exceptions).

 

*Food. Yes, I am that piece of shit.

Not experienced or qualified in all the issues you mention but try not to despair re the child thing. I was 42 when I had my son and I'm by no means the oldest I know. Don't give up on that plan. Could easily still happen.

[TxRover]

8 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

[Started writing this at the end of a boozing session on Saturday night when I was rather pished. Fell asleep on the couch (thanks caffeine pills!) and only now got to bed. Silly stuff. I will massively regret this when I sober up I imagine, but for now it's time for some good sleep. At least I fixed (most of) the spelling and grammar errors.]

 

The folk who post on here are fucking tremendous. Your stories are really emotional and often deeply inspiring. I think it's brilliant that so many folk share their stuff here.

I've posted loads on here, all pretty tediously. I've ruined my life.

What follows below is mewling pish from a fucking idiot who was too weak to halt the waste of his best years.

I would love to have had a kid. Think I would have been a good dad. Yeah it's a societal and/or biological need. I know. I've had a long, long time to think about my failures.

I now know I'll never be a dad.

Sadly I've fucked it. I'll be 39 in December. I'm currently 22 and a half stone. I'm a hideous disgrace who has run out of time. I've wasted my 30s hiding away in shame dealing with my mental issues poorly. I wasted my 20s too but at least I did some things then. I often wonder how/why I'm alive. I don't deserve to be is usually my conclusion.

I got in to a routine years ago of eating badly throughout the week (by which I mean I eat the same stuff for lunch every single work day and have the same dinners on certain nights, as well as simiar snacks each night). I don't even remember when it started but if I don't stick by the routine I feel terrible, like there's a weight pushing down on the top of my head. It clouds my thoughts and smothers my common sense, suffocating positive arguments against the good and stopping them reaching my conscious mind, or if they do break through massively negging them and stripping them of their agency. I feel increasingly worse until I give in, which I always do.

I have got in to an addiction/routine of eating in the evenings that I struggle to break.

I struggle to eat better in general, even though I know how, as breaking my eating routines makes my head hurt and makes me feel terrible, but giving in feels terrible too. I have a healthy meal and I like it and it's tasty, but I always cannot defeat my bad routines and go back to shit so often. 

When I was younger I used to fantasise about commiting crimes so that I'd be put in jail and forced to eat only certain things, which would break my addictions. I actually considered doing this a few times.

I've been single since December 2010. There were a few things since that could have led to something but I fucked them. I've hidden myself away and isolated myself due to shame and massive self loathing. I lost loads of friends doing this before and lost more doing it now.

Here's the massive minter, and I fully deserve ridicule for this; I haven't had sex since 2011. I'm so massively embarrassed and ashamed by this. I've never admitted this until now. Bad mental health has ruined my life. I often dream and fantasise about going back over 20 years and starting over. I know that won't happen. I deserve to die.

Ach, I'm not actually suicidal just now.  Have been a lot of times before. 

Used to indulge in self harm too. Ruined my the top of my right arm. Worst was when I placed a knife on my flesh then hit said knife with a hammer/mallet (yes, this was easy to do; yes it hurt and yes it bled, especially the shower the next morning). When I didn't do that I'd press the knife in to my skin then cut away.

Did some bad shit to my left thigh. Cut a ring around my left ankle too. Have a scar on my stomach. Have a couple of (shitebag) ones on the inside of my left wrist. Thankfully been a while since I've self harmed (years since I last did it; I used to get unpleasant urges).

 

Been back on fluoxetine for few months now and it's helped loads (was on it a few years back but stupidly punted it, thinking I was fine, which for a short spell I might have been but should have been back on them years ago)

Been doing some online therapy which is helping too (I was cynical about it but it really has helped; shame I only have 2 more sessions left).

Actually think I may be OK once I shed the weight. I know my weight is holding me back so much. My issues are breaking addictions and routines. Has been for so long.

I've lost my chance at having a home and a kid.

I now just want to meet someone but it will be at least 9 months until I'm close to being in shape. But I've been trying to do that for so long and mental health and addiction* had fucked that.

 

Ah fucking hell. That's my nonsense. Yes, I'm drunk (I had/have a huge problem with booze; since Feb 2020 I have had multiple beers every Saturday since, with a few, but rare, exceptions).

 

*Food. Yes, I am that piece of shit.

Never say never. I had my child at 42 (snap @Delicate Flower), and that’s by no means an upper limit.

Now, the rest…

Fluoxetine, your experience is massively common and bitterly repetitive. The basic problem seems to be a chemical or wiring issue in the brain that, when addressed allows perfectly normal function BUT also makes the possessor feel they are better, and they stop the medication. This is at least partially a societal construct, as there is a pressure to be “healed” via medicine versus “treated”. Consider your challenges as akin to hypertension rather than an infection. We don’t expect hypertension to be cured via a short course of medication, in fact most people are on the medications for life…so why does society seem to push the “get better, get off it” manta onto critical medications to treat these underlying conditions?

Online therapy, surely there is a way to continue this treatment? The therapist involved should be able to assist you on this quest, but I know so little about the NHS system for this, I’m dealing with the pay and talk model here, so there is little incentive to kick patients to the kerb. The concept of a patient with self harm history being kicked out of a treatment seems anathema to the medical field, so perhaps someone like @Richey Edwards can comment?

Given your eating habits and the resistance to changes, have you ever been evaluated for OCD? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder could very easily help answer why you fall into the rut of the same thing again and again. While ease of preparation and the comfort of foods you are familiar with or accustomed too might also answer this, the depth of the fixation you express on your “menu”, and the aversion to change suggests an underlying cause.

22.5 stone, been close and done that. I peaked out at 20.5 stone and have since knocked off about 5 stone and lost/regained 1 to 2 more or less over the past four years. You would be amazed what a small change does over time, in both directions.

Losing friends, you honestly haven’t necessarily “lost” them as much as lost contact with them, unless you were an absolute raging c**t, and even then most people understand that there are issues that can cause that and move beyond it. Try some quiet reaching out to people you considered friends, there will be those not interested, but you’ll be surprised at the successes you might have. I isolated myself for years in order to try to appease a controlling, paranoia and jealous person. With the separation finally complete, I’m now slowly reaching out to some of my old friends and finding, well, they’re still there, and we actually have more to talk about now.

The beers honestly sound like a response to the issues and perhaps some of the possible OCD issues, so may turn out to be a minor issue in the scale of things, but your recognition of the issue they create is a positive.

Stay strong, mate…and blather whenever you want.

[Richey Edwards]

2 hours ago, TxRover said:

Online therapy, surely there is a way to continue this treatment? The therapist involved should be able to assist you on this quest, but I know so little about the NHS system for this, I’m dealing with the pay and talk model here, so there is little incentive to kick patients to the kerb. The concept of a patient with self harm history being kicked out of a treatment seems anathema to the medical field, so perhaps someone like @Richey Edwards can comment?

Kicking someone off of a treatment based on historical things would constitute discrimination, which is a major no-no. You would need a specific clinical reason to deny someone a treatment i.e. them expressing that they do not want it, it being unsuitable but x would be a better alternative etc. It wouldn't be enough to say that this person has a history of self-harm so we're not treating them. Your role as a professional would be to help to break that cycle and patterns of behaviour that lead to self-harm via more healthy coping mechanisms.

[TxRover]

1 minute ago, Richey Edwards said:

Kicking someone off of a treatment based on historical things would constitute discrimination, which is a major no-no. You would need a specific clinical reason to deny someone a treatment i.e. them expressing that they do not want it, it being unsuitable but x would be a better alternative etc. It wouldn't be enough to say that this person has a history of self-harm so we're not treating them. Your role as a professional would be to help to break that cycle and patterns of behaviour that lead to self-harm via more healthy coping mechanisms.

I guess I was referring to the “2 more sessions”, as it sounds like they are rolling up the drawbridge.

[Richey Edwards]

1 minute ago, TxRover said:

I guess I was referring to the “2 more sessions”, as it sounds like they are rolling up the drawbridge.

Ah, sorry. I misunderstood what you were asking.  @DA Baracusif you feel that you need more sessions then you could always ask for more. No harm in asking mate.

[DA Baracus]

I'm not being kicked off. It was only offered as 10 free sessions. I've only got 2 of them left.

[Richey Edwards]

Just now, DA Baracus said:

I'm not being kicked off. It was only offered as 10 free sessions. I've only got 2 of them left.

I wasn't referring to you as "being kicked off", apologies if it looked that way.

[TxRover]

3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

I'm not being kicked off. It was only offered as 10 free sessions. I've only got 2 of them left.

1 minute ago, Richey Edwards said:

I wasn't referring to you as "being kicked off", apologies if it looked that way.

I’ll take the blame, I wasn’t clear. As for the 10 free, I guess I was assuming it was a coverage limit of some sort and was wondering if there is an extension chance.

Edited July 23, 2023 by TxRover

[DA Baracus]

41 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

I wasn't referring to you as "being kicked off", apologies if it looked that way.

No worries!

40 minutes ago, TxRover said:

I’ll take the blame, I wasn’t clear. As for the 10 free, I guess I was assuming it was a coverage limit of some sort and was wondering if there is an extension chance.

Sadly don't think there is much chance of an extension but I'll ask.

[RH33]

3 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

Kicking someone off of a treatment based on historical things would constitute discrimination, which is a major no-no. You would need a specific clinical reason to deny someone a treatment i.e. them expressing that they do not want it, it being unsuitable but x would be a better alternative etc. It wouldn't be enough to say that this person has a history of self-harm so we're not treating them. Your role as a professional would be to help to break that cycle and patterns of behaviour that lead to self-harm via more healthy coping mechanisms.

This isn't aimed at anyone, just my general observations

NHS sessions tend to be limited too which is fine if you get what you need out of x number sessions. But it's a lottery as you need to click with person delivering treatment, that X session is enough to set you in path to help self and resolve issues. 

I'm going back to have a couple sessions with my therapist, it's an eye watering amount these days, but if I start from scratch I'd need 5 sessions just to give my history.

NHS mental health services are shite.

CAMHS wait is currently 12-18 months. We're letting people down from the beginning.