Depression

[Venti]

14 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I’ve had a great day and now I’m home I’m just so flat and sad

Hope you're ok mate. Remember we're here if you need us.

 

[Raidernation]

I decided to irritate celtic fans to make me feel better!

[Acastus]

15 hours ago, Paul Cicero said:

Chin up (it's good to talk)  

Are you honestly creeping about the depression thread looking for thistle fans that's cheered me up tbf you absolute low life!

 

[Derry Alli]

On 05/06/2023 at 03:19, SlipperyP said:

Hey Honey...cring

photos or gtf, i'll get photo 2morro

[Jacksgranda]

On 05/06/2023 at 16:07, Raidernation said:

I decided to irritate celtic fans to make me feel better!

Well it certainly worked (in both irritating them and making you feel better)!

[Venti]

1 hour ago, Derry Alli said:

Slightly OT: that's pretty much my Dad.

[Derry Alli]

25 minutes ago, Venti said:

Slightly OT: that's pretty much my Dad.

[The Moonster]

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

[TxRover]

4 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

Simply because your partner needs the (emotional/mental) distance, doesn’t necessarily prevent your daughter from experiencing a relationship with her grandmother. A frank discussion with her counselor should enable her to find a place where, if necessary and possible, you can be the connection with her mother for your daughter when needed. Given your description, her mother is likely suffering from extreme sleep apnea, especially if she is overweight. Perhaps a sleep specialist might be seen as less confrontational/threatening by her mother?

In the end, though, the answer is to ask your partner “what can I do to help you?” You may not “like” the result, but you can work with her to reach a place that she is comfortable in and that, hopefully, works for everyone involved. With regard to this weekend, much like the KGB, you can be the sword and shield for your partner for the weekend and try to buffer the conflict.

[The Moonster]

42 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Simply because your partner needs the (emotional/mental) distance, doesn’t necessarily prevent your daughter from experiencing a relationship with her grandmother. A frank discussion with her counselor should enable her to find a place where, if necessary and possible, you can be the connection with her mother for your daughter when needed. Given your description, her mother is likely suffering from extreme sleep apnea, especially if she is overweight. Perhaps a sleep specialist might be seen as less confrontational/threatening by her mother?

In the end, though, the answer is to ask your partner “what can I do to help you?” You may not “like” the result, but you can work with her to reach a place that she is comfortable in and that, hopefully, works for everyone involved. With regard to this weekend, much like the KGB, you can be the sword and shield for your partner for the weekend and try to buffer the conflict.

She won't seek any help because she thinks its all related to her weight, which it might be but not seeking help and continuing to complain about all her ills isn't helping anyone. I hope it doesn't come to distancing though take your point. I'm trying to ignore it all for this weekend and give my daughter a good birthday but I'm ready to be a buffer if I need to. 

[TxRover]

11 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

She won't seek any help because she thinks its all related to her weight, which it might be but not seeking help and continuing to complain about all her ills isn't helping anyone. I hope it doesn't come to distancing though take your point. I'm trying to ignore it all for this weekend and give my daughter a good birthday but I'm ready to be a buffer if I need to. 

The job sucks, but you do your best for now and you and your partner will have to figure out whats best for whom in the long run. I know people who only deal with one of their parents even though they are still married to the other. A boundary for your partner and her mother about no complaints or I'm ignoring your messages might be a start, but it's likely to result in more fighting from mothers end...the whole think sucks a**.

[scottsdad]

5 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

Similar situation to what my wife had. In the end she had mostly cut her mum out of her life, as she was just not good to be around. But, my step-daughter adored her Nana. It was an odd circle to square that only really resolved when my step-daughter was old enough to visit on her own without us. 

One of the best decisions my wife ever made, for her own wellbeing, was distancing herself from her mum. Much of it was to do with a terrible childhood - stories that would chill anyone who is a parent. Her mum dies last year and, honestly, it upset her a bit but far less than when a friend of hers died this year.

[thistledo]

On 08/06/2023 at 10:26, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

It's quite damning the amount of people I know with mental health issues related to parents / parental upbringing, whilst not necessarily having an obviously negative childhood. It all makes a lot of sense if you get a chance to spend a significant amount of time with the parent and child / children. I find it sad and frustrating the amount of traits / issues we inherit from our parents that remain with us all of our lives. They'll have no doubt had some issues passed down from their parents or generations. As a parent now, it's a fucking hard job to do well, constantly aware of my own mental state and desperately trying not to f**k up their little brains with all the problems I have, still inevitably failing at times. This was a long road to say the issues with your partners mum could very well be not entirely her own doing, do you look into that with them, accept it or cut them out for not having done the job they were supposed to? I try and give people the benefit of the doubt and err on the side of caution. I think CBT is an excellent thing, takes a lot of courage to speak to someone and face what is going on in your head, I've no doubt you'll have reassured her how well she is doing in just giving it a chance. 

The health thing is tough, finding an in-road to what would make an individual want to change I'd say is key, leading a horse to water and all that. There is similar things going on in my partners family maybe not yet to the extent yours is facing but it will come one day. 

I hope the weekend away goes well my friend and take time for yourself as being in the supportive role takes it's toll as well. Many happy returns for your daughter as well. 

Edited June 9, 2023 by thistledo

[Venti]

@The Moonster

Really hope your'e doing ok.

Seperation & having your kids in the mix is a nightmare.

Wish I had the answers, but stay strong.

[DA Baracus]

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Edited June 10, 2023 by DA Baracus

[TxRover]

42 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Disagree on the “weak and disgusting…piece of shit”. What you are is an individual dealing with life events that we all would struggle with, and slipping into the habits of a lifetime. The addition of a medication is sometimes necessary for various conditions, I take several, and the societal stupidity in trying to adjudge medication for chemical imbalances in the brain in any different way than such things as medication for blood pressure or cholesterol control is harmful.

It’s this stupid response by society as a whole that makes it so difficult for people dealing with issues to feel comfortable taking medications of this sort. It also causes people to stop taking these medications too early/inappropriately. You will bounce back, and you need to forget the “disgusting weakness” bullshit that society is peddling to everyone taking any kind of medication for mental struggles. 17% of the UK population is taking some form of antidepressants…so when you walk down the street, one out of every six people you see is taking something for struggles.

[buchan30]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Track calories mate, myfitnesspal makes a big difference. I lost about two stone a few times and put it back on. It is easy done, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pick a day to start doing better with food and see if you can fit in, even half an hour’s exercise a few days a week and things will change. Take it one day at a time as well. The weight going on easy, happens to the best of us when life gets in the way. 

[Derry Alli]

Still to get you out for that pint/coffee @DA Baracus. I'm away with work from tomorrow but I'll give you a shout the week after. Keep the heid up mate.

[superwell87]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

I took fluoxetine a good few years back and ,ike yourself I just stopped taking it. Been back on them a few months or so now. Pesonally speaking, I can feel them working most of the time and can tell when I have missed one. You're definitely not weak or anything like that. I am sorry to hear of what you have gone through. Stay strong mate.

[++Ammo - Airdrie++]

This past weeks been one absolute f*cling brain melter. Had to phone in sick on Thursday/Friday for the first time since having flu in December 2020.  Totally work related aswell. I've worked hell of a hard the last few years in work and outside of it to do everything I can to help my mental state. Gave up drinking most weekends, managed to shift 5 stone In weight, got off the mirtazipine, ditched an opiod addiction etc etc.... But every so often ....  Bang. Think the last time was about January there, told the work I wanted to step down as manager, absolutely frying my brain. This has rumbled on getting the right replacement and apparently it's the 17th of July the new man starts.... Having been told every month since March, "next month".

Throw that in with the workload getting about 50% bigger with no extra staff (infact, lost 2) then it's just one big ballache.

Had to go back to the docs and get back on the propanolol, the physically anxiety is absolutely ridiculous, skin constantly feels like its crawling, have to psych myself up everytime to go to work, go on a site visit, go to a meeting, like honestly a 15 minute pep talk to try and get myself out. Horrible.