Depression

[ParsJake]

On 26/03/2023 at 00:21, Karpaty Lviv said:

Always though they were just for the decent players, I’m shite  

I'm not exactly Ronnie O'Sullivan myself. 

There seems to be two types of team, the ones who take it ultra-serious and are extremely competitive. I've seen pubs almost erupt into a Wild West-style barfight over whether or not an object ball touched the cushion. (steady Kenneth) Then there's my level, the ones who use it for a bit of social and a few jars with some friends on a weeknight. I got into it by chance one night, was just the right amount of pints in to be in rare form and having the winner-stays-on run of my life when the team captain asked me afterwards to join, didn't even know who he was or that he'd been keeping an eye on things. 

Nothing to lose by having a go, either way I wish you all the best in your recovery and the same to everyone who makes use of this thread.

[TxRover]

On 25/03/2023 at 19:20, Karpaty Lviv said:

Went to the doctors on Thursday, first time I took the step for professional advice. Laid everything on the table and I’ve been prescribed Mirtazapine, and got a line for work.

It’s been built up since last year really, work a year ago until Christmas was utterly demoralising. I can’t say much but thinking back, I'm amazed I got through it. Since Christmas though personally, it’s went downhill. I’ve alluded to it above, but there’s other stuff as well. I’ve told my closest friends, and they’ve rallied, and now I’ve had professional help, I know at least I can focus on the future. 

The meds has gave me a couple of cracking nights sleep, even if I wake up with a hangover feeling. Doc did say that was a possible side effect.

It’s cliche, but I do feel like a weight has been lifted. Now all I need to do is tell my family, which I’ll do on Monday. I’m worried, not for what they’ll say, but just me saying it in the first place.

Outstanding news that you’ve made that first step, the rest are easier for that. There are alway worries, but you’ll usually find they are relieved that you’ve figured it out and are getting help.

As sydney says, keep the doc apprised if the med isn’t working or has unpleasant side effects. I read somewhere, while researching it due to a family member needing meds, that the average patient takes about three different meds before finding the right one for them. Also, don’t even stop taking one of those meds cold turkey without medical advice. The side effects of not tapering or replacing anti-depression meds can be wild and varying…from depression (duh) to shocks running up and down the body.

[Venti]

On 26/03/2023 at 00:20, Karpaty Lviv said:

Went to the doctors on Thursday, first time I took the step for professional advice. Laid everything on the table and I’ve been prescribed Mirtazapine, and got a line for work.

It’s been built up since last year really, work a year ago until Christmas was utterly demoralising. I can’t say much but thinking back, I'm amazed I got through it. Since Christmas though personally, it’s went downhill. I’ve alluded to it above, but there’s other stuff as well. I’ve told my closest friends, and they’ve rallied, and now I’ve had professional help, I know at least I can focus on the future. 

The meds has gave me a couple of cracking nights sleep, even if I wake up with a hangover feeling. Doc did say that was a possible side effect.

It’s cliche, but I do feel like a weight has been lifted. Now all I need to do is tell my family, which I’ll do on Monday. I’m worried, not for what they’ll say, but just me saying it in the first place.

It's awesome that you're making progress.

There's no such thing as cliches when it comes to your mental wellbeing.

Don't ever feel embarassed or hold back on expressing how you feel.

It's great that your mates have given you support.

[Widge]

Not usually one to post on here, but as someone who has had mental health issues and been on anti-depressants in the past know it’s a place of safety to vent and let off some feelings and steam. 
 

Recently my partner and I have been having issues, whereby she’s realised we’re very different people and express feelings and emotion very differently. To put this into context I’m very much a spend time together, do things for the person and care for them rather than a sayer of “I love you” spontaneous, etc. she’s very much the opposite and feels like unless I tell her it’s not true and over the last few years we’ve had this conversation a few times. Now ultimately I cannot change who I am as a person and neither can she, which is fair. However it’s all blown to a head and she’s moving out now, after 7 years of being together, saying that she still loves me, but essentially wants “more”. We have a house together, a life together and pets, etc. and whilst not out the blue I’m absolutely devastated. We talked on Sunday when she left for the week that this was a mutual decision, but it definitely isn’t and once again I put her first because I care about her and would do anything to protect her. 
 

All the people I’ve spoken to, think she’s being ridiculous and expecting something that just is unachievable in a relationship, but I understand her reasons, despite not agreeing with them. Now the issue I’m having is that I can feel myself losing control over everything. I’m still going to work, eating and looking after myself, but I just feel empty and totally broken inside. I’m not sleeping well and I can barely concentrate at work which isn’t going unnoticed. I was also on anti-depressants for my mood issues, whereby I would be in bad moods all the time and get angry very quickly and I can feel myself getting back to that which I don’t want. 
 

My other issues is that I’m starting to feel totally alone. All my friends live outside the city I’m in, have partners and kids and their own lives, so despite the occasional text they’re not really there for me right now (not their fault at all I might add). Maybe that was one of the reasons we broke up, my whole life revolved around her and whilst I still did my own thing, she was the person I wanted to talk to, be with and spend time with…even now I want to. Mercifully the football is back this weekend so I can go to that (maybe that’s not a good thing) but I know at the end of the day I’ll be going back to an empty house filled with memories and things that remind me of our relationship and just stepping foot in the door is a challenge right now. 
 

I know it’ll pass, or I hope it will. My relationship will either end totally and I’ll move on, or we’ll figure out the issues and try and work through it forward. But having never been in this position I’m just struggling big time. I know in terms of mental health issues it’s pretty low key, but I think even just trying to write down a small portion of what’s going on in my brain has helped a little. I just don’t want to spiral out of control and back to a dark place where I’m just angry with the world the whole time and for want of a better word, an absolute c**t. 

[TxRover]

12 hours ago, Widge said:

Not usually one to post on here, but as someone who has had mental health issues and been on anti-depressants in the past know it’s a place of safety to vent and let off some feelings and steam. 
 

Recently my partner and I have been having issues, whereby she’s realised we’re very different people and express feelings and emotion very differently. To put this into context I’m very much a spend time together, do things for the person and care for them rather than a sayer of “I love you” spontaneous, etc. she’s very much the opposite and feels like unless I tell her it’s not true and over the last few years we’ve had this conversation a few times. Now ultimately I cannot change who I am as a person and neither can she, which is fair. However it’s all blown to a head and she’s moving out now, after 7 years of being together, saying that she still loves me, but essentially wants “more”. We have a house together, a life together and pets, etc. and whilst not out the blue I’m absolutely devastated. We talked on Sunday when she left for the week that this was a mutual decision, but it definitely isn’t and once again I put her first because I care about her and would do anything to protect her. 
 

All the people I’ve spoken to, think she’s being ridiculous and expecting something that just is unachievable in a relationship, but I understand her reasons, despite not agreeing with them. Now the issue I’m having is that I can feel myself losing control over everything. I’m still going to work, eating and looking after myself, but I just feel empty and totally broken inside. I’m not sleeping well and I can barely concentrate at work which isn’t going unnoticed. I was also on anti-depressants for my mood issues, whereby I would be in bad moods all the time and get angry very quickly and I can feel myself getting back to that which I don’t want. 
 

My other issues is that I’m starting to feel totally alone. All my friends live outside the city I’m in, have partners and kids and their own lives, so despite the occasional text they’re not really there for me right now (not their fault at all I might add). Maybe that was one of the reasons we broke up, my whole life revolved around her and whilst I still did my own thing, she was the person I wanted to talk to, be with and spend time with…even now I want to. Mercifully the football is back this weekend so I can go to that (maybe that’s not a good thing) but I know at the end of the day I’ll be going back to an empty house filled with memories and things that remind me of our relationship and just stepping foot in the door is a challenge right now. 
 

I know it’ll pass, or I hope it will. My relationship will either end totally and I’ll move on, or we’ll figure out the issues and try and work through it forward. But having never been in this position I’m just struggling big time. I know in terms of mental health issues it’s pretty low key, but I think even just trying to write down a small portion of what’s going on in my brain has helped a little. I just don’t want to spiral out of control and back to a dark place where I’m just angry with the world the whole time and for want of a better word, an absolute c**t. 

Have you heard of the languages of love?

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

It’s seems pretty cheesy, but it accurately nailed the so called love languages of me and my partner. It lets you understand better where the other person is coming from, and what they are thinking. It can help you bridge the divide, if it’s possible.

Otherwise, you just have to not let this turn drive you down into despair or depression. The football is a good one, and the house is useful, in that there is always something you can do around it to improve or fix stuff.  There’s also certain to be some clubs or such in the area that you could try out, if it be billiards or darts or whatever, to feel a little more normal while you and your partner are trying to figure out where you are at and where you are going.

There’s always people here to talk to/at.

[thistledo]

23 hours ago, Widge said:

Not usually one to post on here, but as someone who has had mental health issues and been on anti-depressants in the past know it’s a place of safety to vent and let off some feelings and steam. 
 

Recently my partner and I have been having issues, whereby she’s realised we’re very different people and express feelings and emotion very differently. To put this into context I’m very much a spend time together, do things for the person and care for them rather than a sayer of “I love you” spontaneous, etc. she’s very much the opposite and feels like unless I tell her it’s not true and over the last few years we’ve had this conversation a few times. Now ultimately I cannot change who I am as a person and neither can she, which is fair. However it’s all blown to a head and she’s moving out now, after 7 years of being together, saying that she still loves me, but essentially wants “more”. We have a house together, a life together and pets, etc. and whilst not out the blue I’m absolutely devastated. We talked on Sunday when she left for the week that this was a mutual decision, but it definitely isn’t and once again I put her first because I care about her and would do anything to protect her. 
 

All the people I’ve spoken to, think she’s being ridiculous and expecting something that just is unachievable in a relationship, but I understand her reasons, despite not agreeing with them. Now the issue I’m having is that I can feel myself losing control over everything. I’m still going to work, eating and looking after myself, but I just feel empty and totally broken inside. I’m not sleeping well and I can barely concentrate at work which isn’t going unnoticed. I was also on anti-depressants for my mood issues, whereby I would be in bad moods all the time and get angry very quickly and I can feel myself getting back to that which I don’t want. 
 

My other issues is that I’m starting to feel totally alone. All my friends live outside the city I’m in, have partners and kids and their own lives, so despite the occasional text they’re not really there for me right now (not their fault at all I might add). Maybe that was one of the reasons we broke up, my whole life revolved around her and whilst I still did my own thing, she was the person I wanted to talk to, be with and spend time with…even now I want to. Mercifully the football is back this weekend so I can go to that (maybe that’s not a good thing) but I know at the end of the day I’ll be going back to an empty house filled with memories and things that remind me of our relationship and just stepping foot in the door is a challenge right now. 
 

I know it’ll pass, or I hope it will. My relationship will either end totally and I’ll move on, or we’ll figure out the issues and try and work through it forward. But having never been in this position I’m just struggling big time. I know in terms of mental health issues it’s pretty low key, but I think even just trying to write down a small portion of what’s going on in my brain has helped a little. I just don’t want to spiral out of control and back to a dark place where I’m just angry with the world the whole time and for want of a better word, an absolute c**t. 

Must be love if you want to talk to actually talk to the missus. Joking aside, hopefully you both can work it out so that it doesn't end, doesn't sound like either of you really want that. 

[Venti]

Friend of mine (few pages back) is doing well. Long process to get from where he was until now.

It's hard as hell to try & have any answers & wave a magic wand.

Someone said to me "You can show them the door to escape, but they need to willing to go through it."

It's so on point.

[TxRover]

52 minutes ago, Venti said:

Friend of mine (few pages back) is doing well. Long process to get from where he was until now.

It's hard as hell to try & have any answers & wave a magic wand.

Someone said to me "You can show them the door to escape, but they need to willing to go through it."

It's so on point.

Seeing this first hand, you can illuminate the path for people, but sometimes all they see is that they are victims and not the problem, and continue spiraling down. It’s tragic, but in too many places/countries, it’s not easy for people to get help.

[Venti]

17 hours ago, TxRover said:

Seeing this first hand, you can illuminate the path for people, but sometimes all they see is that they are victims and not the problem, and continue spiraling down. It’s tragic, but in too many places/countries, it’s not easy for people to get help.

I think that pride is a barrier.

Like I say I'm not an expert. When you think you have it all, theres still hurt & pain. sometimes

In regards to places/countries; there's people who can lend an ear (muggins here) online.

Don't suffer in silence.

[Acastus]

Soooo... I have no friends, bit of an introvert, have a good family but never had any proper friends since teenage years. Not begging for friends but it'd be cool to chat to some similar people, if there's any on here. 

 

Edited April 23, 2023 by Acastus

[Derry Alli]

Always open to a PM mate. You might regret it once I start talking shit though, you're well warned

[Venti]

Here too.

You're never shy of friends.

[TxRover]

This place is ideal for you then, other than that Partick fan thingie. In all seriousness, the General Nonsense forum is ideal for cracking the ice and feeling a little more connected. The more speciality forums, on particular sports or areas, are all great for finding a group of people with similar interests to exchange thoughts over. And the majority of people on here aren’t above exchanging thoughts, so go for it…jump on in and post your thoughts, just be ready to be chastised, belittled, abused and cheered, but (almost) all in a somewhat friendly manner.

['WellDel]

23 minutes ago, Acastus said:

Soooo... I have no friends, bit of an introvert, have a good family but never had any proper friends since teenage years. Not begging for friends but it'd be cool to chat to some similar people, if there's any on here. 

 

You're in the right place pal.

Like every other site on the Web there's bickering, arguing and general arseholery on here. Nature of the beast I suppose when fans of every club combine. If that's what you're after pull on your big boy pants and dive in. At the end of the day it's an anonymous forum so no-one knows who you are, and if you disagree? f**k 'em anyway lol.

This thread though, is a safe haven for those who are struggling to just vent or reach out, but also just lots of really decent folk open for a chat and some company if you need it. 

Edited April 23, 2023 by 'WellDel

[Karpaty Lviv]

24 minutes ago, Acastus said:

Soooo... I have no friends, bit of an introvert, have a good family but never had any proper friends since teenage years. Not begging for friends but it'd be cool to chat to some similar people, if there's any on here. 

 

Just look at my post on the last page.

I joined this forum in 2005, aged 15. I’ve met more people from here than I care to admit, from all angles and opportunities (from just a pint before a game in Scotland, to crashing on his couch in western Ukraine).

My inbox always open as well. As much as P&B is famous for it’s piss taking, not serious approach, this thread is very much the real deal, and probably the best thread on this whole forum.

[Hauzen]

Could have written that post myself.. great family and fantastic kids that are everything I need and more, but starting to see the kids get to an age where they're becoming more independent and my usual busy weekends with them will become more empty as they make plans with their mates... I've moved around quite a bit in my life and not got many consistent folk, so starting to look at how I fill that, more than happy for a bit of chat

[Acastus]

Wow thanks guys . It's always nice to know there's nice people out there. I know I like thistle but don't hold that against me  

[Karpaty Lviv]

3 minutes ago, Acastus said:

Wow thanks guys . It's always nice to know there's nice people out there. I know I like thistle but don't hold that against me  

Maybe a step too far for me mate

[Acastus]

3 minutes ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Maybe a step too far for me mate

Haha dont let the hate blind you personally I love people that doesn't support Celtic or rangers 

Edited April 23, 2023 by Acastus

[Acastus]

57 minutes ago, Hauzen said:

Could have written that post myself.. great family and fantastic kids that are everything I need and more, but starting to see the kids get to an age where they're becoming more independent and my usual busy weekends with them will become more empty as they make plans with their mates... I've moved around quite a bit in my life and not got many consistent folk, so starting to look at how I fill that, more than happy for a bit of chat

I'll go for a pint anytime mate , I just love talking about football, sport , anything man.