Depression

[SlipperyP]

On 01/03/2023 at 23:58, Richey Edwards said:

Today was a lot better. I think I was just overly tired yesterday and I tend to be more emotional when I'm tired.

It would be good if there was a magic switch that would fix people's difficulties and make life great for them. Unfortunately there is no magic switch. However listening to people, responding to their needs and preferences and helping them to achieve their goals can go a long way towards achieving positive outcomes for them in the long-term.

 

100%, I know it's old saying, but I go by it.

We look around and hope we can become them....don't forget to look back and give them a hand for them to become like you.

[RH33]

Chronic mh is exhausting. I live with it as best I can but recently it's worn me down.

 

[Richey Edwards]

31 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Chronic mh is exhausting. I live with it as best I can but recently it's worn me down.

 

Be aware of possible contributing factors, like tiredness for example. Tiredness is a big one for me and one that I easily overlook. I am more prone to dips in mood and things like that when I haven't been sleeping well at night and am tired. Often a wee sleep will make me feel a bit better.

I don't know much about you but what I can say is that you have survived every challenge that MH has thrown at you so far. Never give in.

[TxRover]

Anyone with experience with gabapentin? One of the possible side effects is depression, just wondering if anyone has experienced this?

[RH33]

11 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

Be aware of possible contributing factors, like tiredness for example. Tiredness is a big one for me and one that I easily overlook. I am more prone to dips in mood and things like that when I haven't been sleeping well at night and am tired. Often a wee sleep will make me feel a bit better.

I don't know much about you but what I can say is that you have survived every challenge that MH has thrown at you so far. Never give in.

Best part of my life has been spent with MH. It always settles.to a more manageable battle.

[scottsdad]

14 hours ago, TxRover said:

Anyone with experience with gabapentin? One of the possible side effects is depression, just wondering if anyone has experienced this?

When I was in chronic testicular pain post-snip, this is the drug that worked best. Took away the constant ache. No side effects for me. 

Pregabalin on the other hand turned me into a different person. Angry, moody, short tempered. 

[Karpaty Lviv]

Anyone got any ideas of how to meet new people? It’s a strange thing to ask but really, how do you make new contacts without the cascade of the internet? 

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I tried to arrange pool with my closest mates but it never happened. I spent my 30th sitting at the bar, drinking and snorting my pan in. I literally had nothing else to do/no one wanted to be with me. Loneliness is fucking brutal. 

[V.Aye.R]

1 hour ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Anyone got any ideas of how to meet new people? It’s a strange thing to ask but really, how do you make new contacts without the cascade of the internet? 

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I tried to arrange pool with my closest mates but it never happened. I spent my 30th sitting at the bar, drinking and snorting my pan in. I literally had nothing else to do/no one wanted to be with me. Loneliness is fucking brutal. 

The difficulties arranging time with pals etc definitely gets harder as you pass 30, that's true for most I'd suggest. I certainly experienced that when the guys all got married and had kids etc.

You'll find most people have similar feelings towards how it used to be etc but still tend to enjoy meeting up albeit less frequently. Life just gets in the way. 

Maybe try a squash league or join something like a cycling or whisky club locally. Not too high pressure and can naturally have some interaction with decent folk. 

[TxRover]

6 hours ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Anyone got any ideas of how to meet new people? It’s a strange thing to ask but really, how do you make new contacts without the cascade of the internet? 

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I tried to arrange pool with my closest mates but it never happened. I spent my 30th sitting at the bar, drinking and snorting my pan in. I literally had nothing else to do/no one wanted to be with me. Loneliness is fucking brutal. 

 

4 hours ago, V.Aye.R said:

The difficulties arranging time with pals etc definitely gets harder as you pass 30, that's true for most I'd suggest. I certainly experienced that when the guys all got married and had kids etc.

You'll find most people have similar feelings towards how it used to be etc but still tend to enjoy meeting up albeit less frequently. Life just gets in the way. 

Maybe try a squash league or join something like a cycling or whisky club locally. Not too high pressure and can naturally have some interaction with decent folk. 

There are always clubs, interest groups and such. Yes, many cater to an older crowd, but not all. Heck, even if you end up in a sea of pensioners at one, I’ll bet you can get a nice chat out of it. The other spot is a live music venue, where there will be lot of people, and some will be far enough away to converse with. A final option is adult education classes, many universities offer outreach courses (not for credit) in subjects of interest like languages and skills.

[thistledo]

16 hours ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Anyone got any ideas of how to meet new people? It’s a strange thing to ask but really, how do you make new contacts without the cascade of the internet? 

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. I tried to arrange pool with my closest mates but it never happened. I spent my 30th sitting at the bar, drinking and snorting my pan in. I literally had nothing else to do/no one wanted to be with me. Loneliness is fucking brutal. 

The gym is a good shout, although it can be a certain type of person and they often live for working out. Friend of mine joined a running / military fitness club, met a load of new people, ends up doing social nights with them. If pool something you are into more than just a general thing to do, there's loads of pool / snooker clubs in Scotland, always found them to be actually fairly friendly places. 

Friendship is weird when you get older, I see the lads I go to football with more than any of my other mates. I don't really have any mates that live that close to me, but we're on WhatsApp practically every day just talking shite. I drink in my local semi regularly, always end up meeting old boys that have a story to tell and play pool with them, I like it as it doesn't need to go any further than a drink and pool, you'll see them again in the pub and i'm fine with that. 

[Derry Alli]

I used to live just going to the boozer on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon and listening  to all the old boys stories. They were abysmally out of touch with their sayings etc but some of the times it was just great to listen to how they grew up.

If you enjoy pool, just hang around a pool hall playing and people will start to talk to you, take you on. There is obviously outliers but 99% of pool halls I've been to are decent. 

Failing that, come to Dundee or we will get a few boys from here out for a pint somewhere.

[TxRover]

7 hours ago, Derry Alli said:

Failing that, come to Dundee or we will get a few boys from here out for a pint somewhere.

…to get a visitor to Dundee!

[Venti]

One of my best mates tried to take his life last night. Spent all this afternoon with him.

If any of you guys get that far doon. Reach out. I beg you.

Your're life is precious.

[mathematics]

3 hours ago, Venti said:

One of my best mates tried to take his life last night. Spent all this afternoon with him.

If any of you guys get that far doon. Reach out. I beg you.

Your're life is precious.

Grim reading venti. Hope he gets the help he needs. Friends like you will be paramount to his recovery.

[Venti]

Just a little update. My mate has moved in with his sister & agreed to get counselling.

NGL I'm still shaking after that episode.

[TxRover]

15 minutes ago, Venti said:

Just a little update. My mate has moved in with his sister & agreed to get counselling.

NGL I'm still shaking after that episode.

Don't discount YOUR need to talk to someone. Doesn’t matter if it’s here, there or anywhere…you and all his other mates will be working on processing this event and trying to understand it. You can all help each other, and him, in this recovery phase. He will need all of you, as will his sister to prevent too much falling on her. Good luck, and be well!

[Venti]

3 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Don't discount YOUR need to talk to someone. Doesn’t matter if it’s here, there or anywhere…you and all his other mates will be working on processing this event and trying to understand it. You can all help each other, and him, in this recovery phase. He will need all of you, as will his sister to prevent too much falling on her. Good luck, and be well!

I think what scares me the most is how someone balanced was so close to succubming to depression.

I'm a fucking fanny in terms of giving advice, but I'm always here.

[TxRover]

22 minutes ago, Venti said:

I think what scares me the most is how someone balanced was so close to succubming to depression.

I'm a fucking fanny in terms of giving advice, but I'm always here.

That’s the really scary bit, how someone can seem balanced and happy but be absolutely screaming inside. You would be surprised how much some who will listen can help people, especially when they don’t try give advice, just support. Sometimes a listener is just the thing, and advice detracts from the moment…that’s where you can be worth your weight in gold to a person who just needs that vent, that ability to have someone who genuinely wants to listen to them. Good job.

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, Venti said:

I'm a fucking fanny in terms of giving advice, but I'm always here.

We all are! Unless you can read the mind of the person you are advising, you have no idea how it will go down. What you, and many others, will think is good advice, could sound like pish and/or be ineffective to someone.

 

All you can do is care.

[TxRover]

Not a great day…the soon to be ex is blowing up my phone with crazy talk, and things seem to be hanging over me…but once again a new old friend broke me out of the slump. Disturbed’s cover of The Sound of Silence somehow has the ability to snap be out of a depressed rut and back on track. Maybe it’s the line that “silence like a cancer grows” that gets me doing something, anything, but it hasn’t failed me yet. That and a cat that comes over for attention and won’t give up! Guess it’s Gnarls Barkley time now!