Depression

[TxRover]

45 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

I'd live to speak to a counsellor. Not for anything specific, but for the exploratory reasons and also, if I was being greedy, to see if I can get better recall of memories. Don't know if that's a thing but I'd love that if it were possible. 

 

I am a therapists dream though tbf. The amount of stuff I must have repressed/bottled up/built walls to protect myself from will be worth a paper in itself. 

I will always tell people to try counseling because that gentle guidance to look at stuff often improves both understanding and recall. Even if you don’t recall “better” per se, the removal of the fogs of misinterpretation and unsureness that a careful look back can provide can certainly make things clearer. Just a clarification of what the other party may have meant to say versus what you interpreted it as can throw a completely new light on things.

[thistledo]

On 14/02/2023 at 21:54, oneteaminglasgow said:

Not depression as such, but I didn’t know where else to put this. Does anyone have any tips on dealing with anxiety? It’s not something that I’ve really experienced before but over the past few months it’s come and gone, particularly in relation to going out for food, and then the past few days I’ve been worked up and worried pretty much constantly when I’ve been outside the house.

I’m going to go and see my GP tomorrow but just wanted to see if anyone on here had any advice too. 

I used to get similar issues, but just going places in general, sometimes totally fine and sometimes unable to get on a train for example. I always found it weird, I'm not a hermit, quite socially outgoing and fairly confident. Then something would just change and all of a sudden just, worry and fear of what seemed like nothing. 

I regularly listen to the "Where is my mind" podcast on Spotify, previously as verging on therapy, now just to enjoy it. 

Suffered for most of my life with anxiety and panic attacks, only realised in my 30's what it was. Feel free to drop me a PM any time man. 

[Dons_1988]

I’m feeling myself a bit in the last couple of days. Nothing has really happened since my previous posts. In fact, the wife has been doing really well coping despite my daughter continuing to push her buttons with being a fussy eater and difficult sleeper. She is just coming to me and telling me it upsets her rather than letting emotion take over, which is all I’ve ever really asked tbh. 

But last week was hard, my daughter was unwell (nothing bad but enough to keep her off nursery) so we had to share taking time off, we had to work in between times, we didn’t get much sleep, she wasn’t in the best of moods. Add in my wife’s troubles and stresses at work and I’ve just reached a bit of a point of a wobble. 

Life feels pretty non stop, my weekdays start at 5:30am (earlier if I’m running or the gym) to sort the dog, sort myself for the day then sort the wee one before nursery. I get home at 6 from work to do bedtime then it’s dinner and basically back to bed again after a wee bit of tv. 

Most of the time I’m fine with this, but I could just do with a bit of a breather. The mrs parents are here and when they arrived on Saturday I was absolutely praying they’d offer to take the little one for a few hours and it never came. We just sat doing fucking nothing on both Saturday and Sunday. They just watched our daughter play and I periodically brought them tea. Shite way to spend the weekend. 

I’ve just found myself feeling angry. Not at anyone in particular, nobody has done anything to me. Exercise is usually my way out, and will be again but it usually involves sacrificing sleep. 

I’ll be fine, I know how to handle this shit. But good to get it down somewhere. 

[Leith Green]

19 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

I’m feeling myself a bit in the last couple of days. Nothing has really happened since my previous posts. In fact, the wife has been doing really well coping despite my daughter continuing to push her buttons with being a fussy eater and difficult sleeper. She is just coming to me and telling me it upsets her rather than letting emotion take over, which is all I’ve ever really asked tbh. 

But last week was hard, my daughter was unwell (nothing bad but enough to keep her off nursery) so we had to share taking time off, we had to work in between times, we didn’t get much sleep, she wasn’t in the best of moods. Add in my wife’s troubles and stresses at work and I’ve just reached a bit of a point of a wobble. 

Life feels pretty non stop, my weekdays start at 5:30am (earlier if I’m running or the gym) to sort the dog, sort myself for the day then sort the wee one before nursery. I get home at 6 from work to do bedtime then it’s dinner and basically back to bed again after a wee bit of tv. 

Most of the time I’m fine with this, but I could just do with a bit of a breather. The mrs parents are here and when they arrived on Saturday I was absolutely praying they’d offer to take the little one for a few hours and it never came. We just sat doing fucking nothing on both Saturday and Sunday. They just watched our daughter play and I periodically brought them tea. Shite way to spend the weekend. 

I’ve just found myself feeling angry. Not at anyone in particular, nobody has done anything to me. Exercise is usually my way out, and will be again but it usually involves sacrificing sleep. 

I’ll be fine, I know how to handle this shit. But good to get it down somewhere. 

Just caught up withyour posts on this subject.

What I would say is, when you have a young child the first few years can be an absolute b*****d.

Your kid is completely needy, you and your wife are knackered, your sex life is probably down the toilet, same with your social life. Mostly coincides with being busy at work etc.

I have to say, we had some similar issues and I had to laugh (sorry !) about the bit about the parents coming along and offering f**k all - very reminsicent of our early years too. I think grandparents forget how stressful it was when kids were young.

You do both need to give yourselves a break - sometimes from each other as well, doing different stuff etc. Sometimes we all need space - carving that out when you have a kid, wife, committments etc is incredibly difficult.

Not sure if you have spoken to your wife as well - our worst moments (when I have walked out etc) have been when we have just let things simmer and both got more and more fucked off with each other.

It sounds trite, but talking helps.................even if its after a screaming row.

Hang in there, and just ask if you need anything.

[Dons_1988]

37 minutes ago, Leith Green said:

Just caught up withyour posts on this subject.

What I would say is, when you have a young child the first few years can be an absolute b*****d.

Your kid is completely needy, you and your wife are knackered, your sex life is probably down the toilet, same with your social life. Mostly coincides with being busy at work etc.

I have to say, we had some similar issues and I had to laugh (sorry !) about the bit about the parents coming along and offering f**k all - very reminsicent of our early years too. I think grandparents forget how stressful it was when kids were young.

You do both need to give yourselves a break - sometimes from each other as well, doing different stuff etc. Sometimes we all need space - carving that out when you have a kid, wife, committments etc is incredibly difficult.

Not sure if you have spoken to your wife as well - our worst moments (when I have walked out etc) have been when we have just let things simmer and both got more and more fucked off with each other.

It sounds trite, but talking helps.................even if its after a screaming row.

Hang in there, and just ask if you need anything.

Cheers min, no worries about laughing. There’s no point being angry at my mrs parents. If I’d actually said do you know what, can you take her while we go for a meal then they would’ve jumped at it. I just didn’t. 

The wife and I talk plenty thankfully, she did say to me last night she’d noticed it and it worries her because I’m normally on top of everything. 

I agree everyone needs a break, even if it’s just a night or two. I’m sure we’ll get that soon. As long as I recognise what’s happening to me I know I’ll address it so I’m fairly comfortable. 

Cheers for the response

[TxRover]

3 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

Cheers min, no worries about laughing. There’s no point being angry at my mrs parents. If I’d actually said do you know what, can you take her while we go for a meal then they would’ve jumped at it. I just didn’t. 

The wife and I talk plenty thankfully, she did say to me last night she’d noticed it and it worries her because I’m normally on top of everything. 

I agree everyone needs a break, even if it’s just a night or two. I’m sure we’ll get that soon. As long as I recognise what’s happening to me I know I’ll address it so I’m fairly comfortable. 

Cheers for the response

Perhaps a more assertive interaction with the parents by your wife might have helped, and that is what bothers you? It is time to find someone to watch the bairn for even a few hours at a time and get some time apart together., and it doesn’t have to be them, but that is budget and reliability reliant. Drop in child care, or some variant of a Mother’s Day Out setup, might  be viable.

[Dons_1988]

17 hours ago, TxRover said:

Perhaps a more assertive interaction with the parents by your wife might have helped, and that is what bothers you? It is time to find someone to watch the bairn for even a few hours at a time and get some time apart together., and it doesn’t have to be them, but that is budget and reliability reliant. Drop in child care, or some variant of a Mother’s Day Out setup, might  be viable.

Yeah agreed we could do with a wee bit more of childcare that doesn’t just cover the working day and allows us a bit more time to do non-parent things. We’ve just agreed yesterday that her parents will take her overnight on Friday so we’ve got a meal out booked, payday too! 

[thistledo]

On 21/02/2023 at 08:24, Dons_1988 said:

I’m feeling myself a bit in the last couple of days. Nothing has really happened since my previous posts. In fact, the wife has been doing really well coping despite my daughter continuing to push her buttons with being a fussy eater and difficult sleeper. She is just coming to me and telling me it upsets her rather than letting emotion take over, which is all I’ve ever really asked tbh. 

But last week was hard, my daughter was unwell (nothing bad but enough to keep her off nursery) so we had to share taking time off, we had to work in between times, we didn’t get much sleep, she wasn’t in the best of moods. Add in my wife’s troubles and stresses at work and I’ve just reached a bit of a point of a wobble. 

Life feels pretty non stop, my weekdays start at 5:30am (earlier if I’m running or the gym) to sort the dog, sort myself for the day then sort the wee one before nursery. I get home at 6 from work to do bedtime then it’s dinner and basically back to bed again after a wee bit of tv. 

Most of the time I’m fine with this, but I could just do with a bit of a breather. The mrs parents are here and when they arrived on Saturday I was absolutely praying they’d offer to take the little one for a few hours and it never came. We just sat doing fucking nothing on both Saturday and Sunday. They just watched our daughter play and I periodically brought them tea. Shite way to spend the weekend. 

I’ve just found myself feeling angry. Not at anyone in particular, nobody has done anything to me. Exercise is usually my way out, and will be again but it usually involves sacrificing sleep. 

I’ll be fine, I know how to handle this shit. But good to get it down somewhere. 

This is pretty much it for the midweek for me as well. Sometimes I can get a bit "what is the point of this" then I think, that's a bit selfish the wean didn't ask for this, so I just grind out the stuff I can't be arsed doing, which is a never ending pile of clothes that need washed and constantly cleaning the kitchen. The anger too, sometimes it's the smallest thing that tips me over, but mostly gym helps to dull that. 

I'd be inclined to just ask the parentals to take the wee one out. My mum and dad are round most Sundays and either go to a park or just out in the garden for a while. Usually I just mention park to the wee one and they've more or less no choice. Still need to fucking tidy sit up and do things that aren't but it's peace and quiet. 

[Alert Mongoose]

I think we are struggling with this which, along with a few other issues around health, has left me at my lowest for a long time.  

When my wife and I adopted our little boy my mother in law had said she would help out at least one day a week which was important as my own mum and dad live about 100 miles away. However a couple of things have conspired against us in that her health has deteriorated rapidly and our son requires additional support which she just can't handle.

He is currently on the waiting list to be assessed (they have ruled out autism) but that is looking like a 2 year waiting list.  I've tried nannying services and things like Kings Camp and both were happy to take him on even though we advised he required additional support. Both fell through when they contacted us to say they suddenly decided they didn't have enough resource to support him. 

He is now most of the way through primary two and he still hasn't been in school for a full day yet because they say there are no positions available in the assisted support classes and don't have the resources within the mainstream classes to provide enough support all day. While this has annoyed us I can see it from both sides and I don't think antagonising the school further will help.  We both work full time so often end up looking after the wee one when we have to pick him up early from school and working at nights to catch up.

Essentially the only break either of us get is when the one of us goes to do our own thing and the other looks after the wee one. Don't get me wrong we spend most weekends doing things together and have great fun but now and again you do need a little break as he can be really hard work.

My biggest issue is I have been using the spare time I get to drink to excess (mostly as a stress coping mechanism i think) which then leaves me struggling the next day and feeling even more guilty. 

We have found a local branch of The Yard and that does help a fair bit in terms of giving my wife a break.  

Just hope that the longer days somehow brings some respite and the chance for either of us to get some time when he is in bed.

ETA That's his swimming lessons just phoned my wife this morning to say that a shortage of staff means they won't be able to cover the additional resource he needs. That's cancelled as well now. It never rains...

I've just read that horrifyingly long winded post and it portrays the wee man as some devil child. He is genuinely one of the nicest wee boys you will meet but just cannot concentrate on anything for more than about 3 seconds and is stubborn beyond belief. I've no idea if it's genetic (his birth mum has six other boys all by different fathers and in care now with varying degrees of learning difficulties) or if it's partly our fault for the way we have brought him up.

Edited February 22, 2023 by Alert Mongoose

[TxRover]

2 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

I think we are struggling with this which, along with a few other issues around health, has left me at my lowest for a long time.  

When my wife and I adopted our little boy my mother in law had said she would help out at least one day a week which was important as my own mum and dad live about 100 miles away. However a couple of things have conspired against us in that her health has deteriorated rapidly and our son requires additional support which she just can't handle.

He is currently on the waiting list to be assessed (they have ruled out autism) but that is looking like a 2 year waiting list.  I've tried nannying services and things like Kings Camp and both were happy to take him on even though we advised he required additional support. Both fell through when they contacted us to say they suddenly decided they didn't have enough resource to support him. 

He is now most of the way through primary two and he still hasn't been in school for a full day yet because they say there are no positions available in the assisted support classes and don't have the resources within the mainstream classes to provide enough support all day. While this has annoyed us I can see it from both sides and I don't think antagonising the school further will help.  We both work full time so often end up looking after the wee one when we have to pick him up early from school and working at nights to catch up.

Essentially the only break either of us get is when the one of us goes to do our own thing and the other looks after the wee one. Don't get me wrong we spend most weekends doing things together and have great fun but now and again you do need a little break as he can be really hard work.

My biggest issue is I have been using the spare time I get to drink to excess (mostly as a stress coping mechanism i think) which then leaves me struggling the next day and feeling even more guilty. 

We have found a local branch of The Yard and that does help a fair bit in terms of giving my wife a break.  

Just hope that the longer days somehow brings some respite and the chance for either of us to get some time when he is in bed.

ETA That's his swimming lessons just phoned my wife this morning to say that a shortage of staff means they won't be able to cover the additional resource he needs. That's cancelled as well now. It never rains...

I've just read that horrifyingly long winded post and it portrays the wee man as some devil child. He is genuinely one of the nicest wee boys you will meet but just cannot concentrate on anything for more than about 3 seconds and is stubborn beyond belief. I've no idea if it's genetic (his birth mum has six other boys all by different fathers and in care now with varying degrees of learning difficulties) or if it's partly our fault for the way we have brought him up.

It’s not your fault.

Its not your fault.

It’s not your fault…it’s a system that has been demolished to the point where an assessment that wouldn’t take much is deferred for years, and penalizes the child, parents and society because some b*****ds decided to cut some funding and then cut it some more. What you are doing is your best in a no win situation, while waiting out an absurd delay, in a system that is no longer designed to do much more than save costs. Your role now is to keep you and yours sane while playing the game to get the benefits that should be given freely and easily to a couple willing to help like you.

The Yard is a brilliant start, and if you are lucky, you may be able to network a few people who are in a similar situation and possibly find some options. In some cases like this, a second child isn’t a doubling of workload, mainly when the two children function well together…but without asking way too many intrusive questions, it’s impossible to say if this is your potential situation. There are usually groups of parents in these situation who can share resources, experiences and tricks/tactics, and even perhaps short breaks.

You are doing a great thing here, and the punishment inflicted upon people in your situation by a dysfunctional system is criminal, but the rewards can be great. Stay well, m8.

[Alert Mongoose]

12 minutes ago, TxRover said:

It’s not your fault.

Its not your fault.

It’s not your fault…it’s a system that has been demolished to the point where an assessment that wouldn’t take much is deferred for years, and penalizes the child, parents and society because some b*****ds decided to cut some funding and then cut it some more. What you are doing is your best in a no win situation, while waiting out an absurd delay, in a system that is no longer designed to do much more than save costs. Your role now is to keep you and yours sane while playing the game to get the benefits that should be given freely and easily to a couple willing to help like you.

The Yard is a brilliant start, and if you are lucky, you may be able to network a few people who are in a similar situation and possibly find some options. In some cases like this, a second child isn’t a doubling of workload, mainly when the two children function well together…but without asking way too many intrusive questions, it’s impossible to say if this is your potential situation. There are usually groups of parents in these situation who can share resources, experiences and tricks/tactics, and even perhaps short breaks.

You are doing a great thing here, and the punishment inflicted upon people in your situation by a dysfunctional system is criminal, but the rewards can be great. Stay well, m8.

Thanks for those very kind words. I think, like many of us on here experience, just writing that out helped a little.

[Jacksgranda]

2 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

I think we are struggling with this which, along with a few other issues around health, has left me at my lowest for a long time.  

When my wife and I adopted our little boy my mother in law had said she would help out at least one day a week which was important as my own mum and dad live about 100 miles away. However a couple of things have conspired against us in that her health has deteriorated rapidly and our son requires additional support which she just can't handle.

He is currently on the waiting list to be assessed (they have ruled out autism) but that is looking like a 2 year waiting list.  I've tried nannying services and things like Kings Camp and both were happy to take him on even though we advised he required additional support. Both fell through when they contacted us to say they suddenly decided they didn't have enough resource to support him. 

He is now most of the way through primary two and he still hasn't been in school for a full day yet because they say there are no positions available in the assisted support classes and don't have the resources within the mainstream classes to provide enough support all day. While this has annoyed us I can see it from both sides and I don't think antagonising the school further will help.  We both work full time so often end up looking after the wee one when we have to pick him up early from school and working at nights to catch up.

Essentially the only break either of us get is when the one of us goes to do our own thing and the other looks after the wee one. Don't get me wrong we spend most weekends doing things together and have great fun but now and again you do need a little break as he can be really hard work.

My biggest issue is I have been using the spare time I get to drink to excess (mostly as a stress coping mechanism i think) which then leaves me struggling the next day and feeling even more guilty. 

We have found a local branch of The Yard and that does help a fair bit in terms of giving my wife a break.  

Just hope that the longer days somehow brings some respite and the chance for either of us to get some time when he is in bed.

ETA That's his swimming lessons just phoned my wife this morning to say that a shortage of staff means they won't be able to cover the additional resource he needs. That's cancelled as well now. It never rains...

I've just read that horrifyingly long winded post and it portrays the wee man as some devil child. He is genuinely one of the nicest wee boys you will meet but just cannot concentrate on anything for more than about 3 seconds and is stubborn beyond belief. I've no idea if it's genetic (his birth mum has six other boys all by different fathers and in care now with varying degrees of learning difficulties) or if it's partly our fault for the way we have brought him up.

Sounds like ADHD, although you'd have thought they'd have diagnosed that/ruled it out by now, (although he is only 7, I suppose, as I understand it they don't like putting on "labels" too soon, as it can exclude other options if he's labelled "*****"), the lad we fostered had ADHD (among a myriad of other conditions, including being on the autism spectrum), and it definitely sounds like genetic. (He was diagnosed with foetal alcohol syndrome, one of his other brothers also had learning difficulties, as far as I recall.)

[Alert Mongoose]

7 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Sounds like ADHD, although you'd have thought they'd have diagnosed that/ruled it out by now, (although he is only 7, I suppose, as I understand it they don't like putting on "labels" too soon, as it can exclude other options if he's labelled "*****"), the lad we fostered had ADHD (among a myriad of other conditions, including being on the autism spectrum), and it definitely sounds like genetic. (He was diagnosed with foetal alcohol syndrome, one of his other brothers also had learning difficulties, as far as I recall.)

Based on all I have read that would be my guess. The waiting list he now on is for an ADHD/similar assessment.

[TxRover]

25 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Based on all I have read that would be my guess. The waiting list he now on is for an ADHD/similar assessment.

If it is ADHD, there are a couple of things to play with while waiting…they won’t hurt regardless. Sleep is critical for children, and apparently more so for those with ADHD. A consistent bedtime, and a routine are important, as is a full night’s sleep. Listening to music, and even perhaps learning to play an instrument tends to calm some brain functions. Certain preservatives in sodas and some food colourings are mentioned by some studies, so a simple food log might help identify any items that increase impulsiveness or such. Finally, mindfulness, basic biofeedback and/or meditation type activities can be helpful, if difficult to get started, and outdoor activities tend to express some of the energy and calm things a bit.

Edited February 22, 2023 by TxRover

[Alert Mongoose]

7 minutes ago, TxRover said:

If it is ADHD, there are a couple of things to play with while waiting…they won’t hurt regardless. Sleep is critical for children, and apparently more so for those with ADHD. A consistent bedtime, and a routine are important, as is a full night’s sleep. Listening to music, and even perhaps learning to play an instrument tends to calm some brain functions. Certain preservatives in sodas and some food colourings are mentioned by some studies, so a simple food log might help identify any items that increase impulsiveness or such. Finally, mindfulness, basic biofeedback and/or meditation type activities can be helpful, if difficult to get started, and outdoor activities tend to express some of the energy and calm things a bit.

Thanks for those - really helpful. We make sure he goes to bed every night at pretty much the same time.  He is a nightmare to get to sleep - essentially one of us has to sit and read to him for about 45 minutes to a hour until his brain 'shuts down'.  We occasionally get away with putting an audio book (he loves these especially Michael Murpogo books) on for him otherwise if we try to leave him to go sleep on his own he will just keep coming out his room or just keep moving stuff around his room. Strangely enough he very rarely gets up during the night which is a blessing but he normally comes running through before 6.30am most mornings.

Agree on the outdoor bit. I've always struggled with him in the house so pretty much always take him on a walk or to the local beaches and he is fine as long as it's somewhere there are no major risks as his danger awareness is almost non-existent.  That is part of the problem though I think when it comes to the school in that he just cannot sit and concentrate on anything really. 

Interesting on the food suggestion.  He eats a really wide range of foods (apart from anything with the merest hint of spice..) and only rarely gets any sweets. I'll have to keep an eye out and see if there is any discernable pattern though.

[TxRover]

20 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Thanks for those - really helpful. We make sure he goes to bed every night at pretty much the same time.  He is a nightmare to get to sleep - essentially one of us has to sit and read to him for about 45 minutes to a hour until his brain 'shuts down'.  We occasionally get away with putting an audio book (he loves these especially Michael Murpogo books) on for him otherwise if we try to leave him to go sleep on his own he will just keep coming out his room or just keep moving stuff around his room. Strangely enough he very rarely gets up during the night which is a blessing but he normally comes running through before 6.30am most mornings.

Agree on the outdoor bit. I've always struggled with him in the house so pretty much always take him on a walk or to the local beaches and he is fine as long as it's somewhere there are no major risks as his danger awareness is almost non-existent.  That is part of the problem though I think when it comes to the school in that he just cannot sit and concentrate on anything really. 

Interesting on the food suggestion.  He eats a really wide range of foods (apart from anything with the merest hint of spice..) and only rarely gets any sweets. I'll have to keep an eye out and see if there is any discernable pattern though.

Some good things there. Use the reading to get him to shutdown to advance his own reading abilities. My daughter was similar, you had to sit in the doorway or she’d chase you. So I switched to reading, Dr. Seuss was excellent, but after a (good) while, it got to be she read a page of Harry Potter (with help) and then I read the next ten or so till she was fading out. The other question is does he have a cooldown process before bedtime, or is he 100 mph until he gets in bed?

The fact audio books can work, suggest that music might also work if he developed an interest in it. It may seem counterintuitive, but a keyboard might be a place to consider. Yes, it requires patience and practice, but if he feels satisfaction doing it it may calm him somewhat, and then you have a vast array of classical music that he could “chill” to before bedtime.

When you have some time, read about Montessori education principles and you may get some tips/tricks for him. That program is much more individually focused and places responsibility on the kids, which seems insane initially, but it does seem to develop responsibility too.

Get a couple of books on British wildlife, and start having him spot things in the wild, it will increase his awareness. Maybe a little notebook where he can record when he sees a new animal or such? It’s very basic, but again it’s creating a process for him to organize his experiences, which are all jumbled up with his current wiring.

 

Edit: Found it, Sodium Benzoate is the additive in many sodas with a link to ADHD. abstract here: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22538314/

 

Edited February 22, 2023 by TxRover

[The Derry]

22 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Thanks for those - really helpful. We make sure he goes to bed every night at pretty much the same time.  He is a nightmare to get to sleep - essentially one of us has to sit and read to him for about 45 minutes to a hour until his brain 'shuts down'.  We occasionally get away with putting an audio book (he loves these especially Michael Murpogo books) on for him otherwise if we try to leave him to go sleep on his own he will just keep coming out his room or just keep moving stuff around his room. Strangely enough he very rarely gets up during the night which is a blessing but he normally comes running through before 6.30am most mornings.

Agree on the outdoor bit. I've always struggled with him in the house so pretty much always take him on a walk or to the local beaches and he is fine as long as it's somewhere there are no major risks as his danger awareness is almost non-existent.  That is part of the problem though I think when it comes to the school in that he just cannot sit and concentrate on anything really. 

Interesting on the food suggestion.  He eats a really wide range of foods (apart from anything with the merest hint of spice..) and only rarely gets any sweets. I'll have to keep an eye out and see if there is any discernable pattern though.

 

Does the wee man play any sports?

[Alert Mongoose]

1 minute ago, TxRover said:

Some good things there. Use the reading to get him to shutdown to advance his own reading abilities. My daughter was similar, you had to sit in the doorway or she’d chase you. So I switched to reading, Dr. Seuss was excellent, but after a (good) while, it got to be she read a page of Harry Potter (with help) and then I read the next ten or so till she was fading out. The other question is does he have a cooldown process before bedtime, or is he 100 mph until he gets in bed?

The fact audio books can work, suggest that music might also work if he developed an interest in it. It may seem counterintuitive, but a keyboard might be a place to consider. Yes, it requires patience and practice, but if he feels satisfaction doing it it may calm him somewhat, and then you have a vast array of classical music that he could “chill” to before bedtime.

When you have some time, read about Montessori education principles and you may get some tips/tricks for him. That program is much more individually focused and places responsibility on the kids, which seems insane initially, but it does seem to develop responsibility too.

Get a couple of books on British wildlife, and start having him spot things in the wild, it will increase his awareness. Maybe a little notebook where he can record when he sees a new animal or such? It’s very basic, but again it’s creating a process for him to organize his experiences, which are all jumbled up with his current wiring.

Again a really good few suggestions there. Funnily enough I used to draw a list things for him to spot on our walks and he loves that. It came to a head one day when I had put a tesco lorry on the sheet and it was the one day where one of the bloody things hadn't passed us. Now everytime he spots one he mentions it!  

 

 

[Alert Mongoose]

Just now, The Derry said:

 

Does the wee man play any sports?

Tried Taekwando (wouldn't stand still and listen to the instructor), karate (similar but it's a class specifically for children with additional needs so a bit better), golf (too dangerous swinging a club about) and football (does a Gunning and randomly just picks the ball up).

He can do most things but can't stick to them for more than a minute. It's extremely frustrating for us and him I guess.

[The Derry]

2 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Tried Taekwando (wouldn't stand still and listen to the instructor), karate (similar but it's a class specifically for children with additional needs so a bit better), golf (too dangerous swinging a club about) and football (does a Gunning and randomly just picks the ball up).

He can do most things but can't stick to them for more than a minute. It's extremely frustrating for us and him I guess.

Are you in Dundee?  What football team/class does he go too?  We have a lot of kids across the teams I coach who were like the wee man to begin with but the more they go the more engaged they are.