Shotgun Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 If I thought for a minute the little b*****d would listen; I would tell him. 1. Your parents, teachers and career advisers are pushing you towards the holy grail of a 'safe job'. Ignore them. For one thing; there's no such thing as a safe job and for another; the one you pick is going to suffocate you. Find your passion and follow that. 2. Go to university. You live in an age when not only will it be free, you'll also get a grant to live on while you're there. You don't yet realise how huge that is. 3. That girl you're going to go out with when you're 19? Treat her a damn sight better than you do. 4. Buy a car sooner. Trust me, you'll have sex a lot more often. Get a friendly dog too. Same reason. 5. Stop worrying about what other people think. It's your life, not their's. And as far as we know, you'll only get one shot at it. 6. When you're 21, a girl will want you to take her to Paris. Take her. 7. Your best friend is going to die when you're both 22. Appreciate the time you have with him. 8. Start a pension plan early just like the old people are telling you to. They're right on this one. 9. You're a good artist. You have the potential to be really good. The people telling you otherwise are not your friends and they do not have your best interests at heart. For fuxxake, why are you listening to them? And lastly... 10. Join a gym you skinny little git. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Don't let your parents shoehorn you into believing that studying is the be all and end all, you'll end up fine with your choices in life Don't agree to get engaged because your madly in love with the lassie, she may turn crazy after it happens. Start a savings account, don't go out every weekend, there's no need too. Don't let anyone talk down your dreams, not even your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tight minge Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Gather every penny I can get my hands on and move to Budapest in 1989 and buy as much property as I can. Flog it all in '94 and move to Moscow and do the same. Flog everything in 2000 and move to Vietnam/Cambodia, repeat. Retire early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 If you prefer where you live to Dundee, DON'T move to Chechnya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Seeing a few posts saying "don't do drugs". I'd go back and tell myself to do more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Wear sunscreen. Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris McDonald Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 stay away from they burds in amsterdam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have looked after myself more when I was younger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Ahh, I'd just do it all the same again.............Don't think I could be so lucky twice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Always seek the advice of anonymous roasters on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Gather every penny I can get my hands on and move to Budapest in 1989 and buy as much property as I can. Flog it all in '94 and move to Moscow and do the same. Get property confiscated by corrupt judge and handed over to oligarch. After complaining found shot in an alleyway. RIP Tight John McVeigh is a tit#2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 stay away from they burds in amsterdam And if you do insist on visiting the ladies of the night, make sure you're aware what the blue lights in some of the windows actually means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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