carpetmonster Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 46 minutes ago, SweeperDee said: I mean I’d like to think I’m a pretty caring partner, but the things she complains about relates mostly to her diabetes and her studying for her medicine exams. There’s f**k all I can do about that other than reassure her she will do absolutely fine with them. A bowl of fruit beside the bed though…has anyone in the history of mankind done this or am I scurvy-tarnished swine? Sounds to me like OFTW behaviour. If you’re stuck for a birthday present idea… 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 I'd just like to remind the patrons of this topic that like myself, @velo army is single! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Just now, Derry Alli said: I'd just like to remind the patrons of this topic that like myself, @velo army is single! No wonder, fruit bowls beside the bedside. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, Derry Alli said: I'd just like to remind the patrons of this topic that like myself, @velo army is single! I think you'd make a lovely couple tbh 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, Derry Alli said: I'd just like to remind the patrons of this topic that like myself, @velo army is single! 32 minutes ago, velo army said: Who cares what is common or not? If she's experiencing mid-coital hypo-glycaemia (ken, I'm a silver-tongued bassa) then that's a circumstance that requires a solution. I'm not suggesting you permanently keep fruit there, but if you know she's coming over it might be a nice thing to have. I wasn't implying you were inconsiderate, but there's always ways in which we can be more caring. Behaviour is broadly designed to either bring things towards us or push things away. Complaining is often a bringing in behaviour in which the person frames themselves as the victim in order to elicit sympathy and attention. I'm just offering an interpretation. It could be shite. Food and sex are often closely linked. Perhaps you can find foods that are also aphrodisiacs (grapes and figs are particularly erotic) so you could do a bit of research on that. She's Malaysian so that gives you lychees, which are lovely and sweet, but also papaya. Melted dark chocolate with its magnesium and theobroma (which increases blood flow and dopamine production, increasing the sense of pleasure) can make it a bit of a playground (by dipping fruit into it and perhaps feeding each other) as well as keeping her blood sugar at the right level. So aye, it might not be familiar territory, but it could be a playful way of addressing her concerns and increasing the intimate connection between the two of you. Enjoy. 7 hours ago, Derry Alli said: Stick a jammie dodger up her arse and aim for the wee heart. Different ends of the spectrum there though, mate. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 21 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: I'd just like to remind the patrons of this topic that like myself, @velo army is single! Are you the one that put that spyware on my phone? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 24 minutes ago, SweeperDee said: No wonder, fruit bowls beside the bedside. And melted chocolate 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, velo army said: And melted chocolate That’s how you get ants. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 hour ago, velo army said: Who cares what is common or not? If she's experiencing mid-coital hypo-glycaemia (ken, I'm a silver-tongued bassa) then that's a circumstance that requires a solution. I'm not suggesting you permanently keep fruit there, but if you know she's coming over it might be a nice thing to have. I wasn't implying you were inconsiderate, but there's always ways in which we can be more caring. Behaviour is broadly designed to either bring things towards us or push things away. Complaining is often a bringing in behaviour in which the person frames themselves as the victim in order to elicit sympathy and attention. I'm just offering an interpretation. It could be shite. Food and sex are often closely linked. Perhaps you can find foods that are also aphrodisiacs (grapes and figs are particularly erotic) so you could do a bit of research on that. She's Malaysian so that gives you lychees, which are lovely and sweet, but also papaya. Melted dark chocolate with its magnesium and theobroma (which increases blood flow and dopamine production, increasing the sense of pleasure) can make it a bit of a playground (by dipping fruit into it and perhaps feeding each other) as well as keeping her blood sugar at the right level. So aye, it might not be familiar territory, but it could be a playful way of addressing her concerns and increasing the intimate connection between the two of you. Enjoy. Tldr, kick her in the pie and tell her to stop moaning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 5 minutes ago, SweeperDee said: That’s how you get ants. They eat insects in certain parts of Malaysia mate..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 2 hours ago, velo army said: Who cares what is common or not? If she's experiencing mid-coital hypo-glycaemia (ken, I'm a silver-tongued bassa) then that's a circumstance that requires a solution. I'm not suggesting you permanently keep fruit there, but if you know she's coming over it might be a nice thing to have. I wasn't implying you were inconsiderate, but there's always ways in which we can be more caring. Behaviour is broadly designed to either bring things towards us or push things away. Complaining is often a bringing in behaviour in which the person frames themselves as the victim in order to elicit sympathy and attention. I'm just offering an interpretation. It could be shite. Food and sex are often closely linked. Perhaps you can find foods that are also aphrodisiacs (grapes and figs are particularly erotic) so you could do a bit of research on that. She's Malaysian so that gives you lychees, which are lovely and sweet, but also papaya. Melted dark chocolate with its magnesium and theobroma (which increases blood flow and dopamine production, increasing the sense of pleasure) can make it a bit of a playground (by dipping fruit into it and perhaps feeding each other) as well as keeping her blood sugar at the right level. So aye, it might not be familiar territory, but it could be a playful way of addressing her concerns and increasing the intimate connection between the two of you. Enjoy. It becoming like Channel 4 after 11pm in here 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ICTFCwife Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 (edited) 10 hours ago, SweeperDee said: I’ve expanded my fairly limited scope of people I’m attracted to and have been seeing this Asian/Malaysian bird for a couple of months from Tinder. Lovely girl, smart, going to be a doctor, very “housewife-y” in that she insists on doing things for me, always does the dishes, that sort of thing. Great ride as well. However, she is diabetic. This in of itself is not an issue, my grandfather was diabetic and he was the love of my life. She goes on about it…quite a lot though. Like, probably more than a regular diabetic would. Like she defines herself by it. Yes, diabetes is awful, it’s a pain in the arse and especially when you’re not a typical fat person who gets it cause they eat too much sugary shite. It must be hard for her to balance medicine and being diabetic but I know there is support in place for NHS staff with diabetes. It might be new to me but she checks her sugars with that wee arm monitor thing and a phone app during sex, and depending she might need to go get a biscuit or a dextrose tablet. What am I supposed to do? Ach, I’m being a moan. I’m very lucky, I’m actually going through a tough time in my life and she’s been a light in it. She does like a whinge though. Have a tube of fruitpastilles and a banana on the bed stand that way it’s within easy reach for her and she can keep going and bobs your uncle Edited May 9, 2023 by ICTFCwife 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 Speaking of which, not a single suggestive banana near that genital fruitbowl above. I don't know what the world is coming to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 6 hours ago, BTFD said: Speaking of which, not a single suggestive banana near that genital fruitbowl above. I don't know what the world is coming to. I was surprised no mention of shooting watermelons out of hoops was brought up either. Or is it mangoes? I can’t remember what video it was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 I was going to suggest a fruit arrangement. Like we used to do at work. With a banana and any two roundish fruits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonksy+HisChristianParade Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 Was a bottle of Lucozade Sport under the bed not the traditional P&B recommendation? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefybake Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 19 hours ago, velo army said: I didn't take it that you were. I wasn't responding defensively. Said he, defensively. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 On 08/05/2023 at 01:48, ICTFCwife said: Eye opening tinder match story. I matched with this guy on tinder a few years ago now.The usual pleasantries were exchanged and then we moved the conversation to Snapchat as you do. The first thing he sent was a picture of him in a robe saying hi sitting in bed which was fine however,that was followed by multiple videos of him masturbating,calling out my name.At the time I had very little sexual experience so asked my sister was this normal?most people would’ve ended it there and then however I did not,I ended up in a relationship with this guy.The first time we had sex(my first time as I was a virgin,him apparently not)he asked me to “slot it in” in a sheer panic on top of me becoming very apparent he wasn’t the sex machine he made out. That wasn’t the worst part when I was on my knees,between his legs he turns to me “you got any pictures of your cousin or friends nudes?” Mortified and raging I stopped what I was doing he turns to me “you can’t stop what you’re doing you need to finish” stupidly and naively he got his “happy ending” but I left abruptly on the next train home. I feel this should be reported to the police or something, the guy was probably a copper though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 Online dating sounds absolutely horrifying for women. Have any P&Bers been deluged with genital pics from complete strangers, and angry insulting messages for not giving "nice girls" a chance because you didn't reply within five minutes? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 Hello, ladies. *Ten messages later* Slotting it in. Leaving, fulfilled with my trainers intact and present. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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