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On 08/05/2024 at 22:47, Salt n Vinegar said:

Radioactive fire would probably mutate the fekkers to being 10 times the size and being able to drive tanks.

Mad Max meets Mega Arachnophobia

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Posted (edited)

A personal Nope story and some, @KnightswoodBear ,might say Karma for tagging a certain poster in any Nope posts.

Yesterday I stepped on something in the kitchen. Looked down and thought it was a leaf or stick until it started to move then realised it was actually a leech. It was a big bugger and had obviously been feeding as it started to leak blood. Before the kids or dog saw it and freaked out I cleaned it up and disposed of it in the garden.

Couldn't think where the hell it had come from. If it had been on one of the kids they definitely would have noticed and said something. Maybe it had been on the dog but again she is regularly petted so we would have noticed. Had it hitched a ride on someone's shoe? No idea so didn't think anymore or if.

That was until I was getting changed for bed. Took off my socks and I noticed a massive blood stain around the ankle area of my left leg. Further examination of the ankle I could see a puncture wound that started to bleed when I cleaned it up. So the fecking leech had attached itself to my leg, through my sock, and had a great feed on my blood and I didn't even realise.

Edited by Swarley
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20 minutes ago, Swarley said:

A personal Nope story and some, @KnightswoodBear ,might say Karma for tagging a certain poster in any Nope posts.

Yesterday I stepped on something in the kitchen. Looked down and thought it was a leaf or stick until it started to move then realised it was actually a leech. It was a big bugger and had obviously been feeding as it started to leak blood. Before the kids or dog saw it and freaked out I cleaned it up and disposed of it in the garden.

Couldn't think where the hell it had come from. If it had been on one of the kids they definitely would have noticed and said something. Maybe it had been on the dog but again she is regularly petted so we would have noticed. Had it hitched a ride on someone's shoe? No idea so didn't think anymore or if.

That was until I was getting changed for bed. Took off my socks and I noticed a massive blood stain around the ankle area of my left leg. Further examination of the ankle I could see a puncture wound that started to bleed when I cleaned it up. So the fecking leech had attached itself to my leg, through my sock, and had a great feed on my blood and I didn't even realise.


 

 

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3 hours ago, Swarley said:

A personal Nope story and some, @KnightswoodBear ,might say Karma for tagging a certain poster in any Nope posts.

Yesterday I stepped on something in the kitchen. Looked down and thought it was a leaf or stick until it started to move then realised it was actually a leech. It was a big bugger and had obviously been feeding as it started to leak blood. Before the kids or dog saw it and freaked out I cleaned it up and disposed of it in the garden.

Couldn't think where the hell it had come from. If it had been on one of the kids they definitely would have noticed and said something. Maybe it had been on the dog but again she is regularly petted so we would have noticed. Had it hitched a ride on someone's shoe? No idea so didn't think anymore or if.

That was until I was getting changed for bed. Took off my socks and I noticed a massive blood stain around the ankle area of my left leg. Further examination of the ankle I could see a puncture wound that started to bleed when I cleaned it up. So the fecking leech had attached itself to my leg, through my sock, and had a great feed on my blood and I didn't even realise.

Not going to lie.  This is just magnificent, and has really brightened up my morning.

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18 hours ago, Swarley said:

A personal Nope story and some, @KnightswoodBear ,might say Karma for tagging a certain poster in any Nope posts.

Yesterday I stepped on something in the kitchen. Looked down and thought it was a leaf or stick until it started to move then realised it was actually a leech. It was a big bugger and had obviously been feeding as it started to leak blood. Before the kids or dog saw it and freaked out I cleaned it up and disposed of it in the garden.

Couldn't think where the hell it had come from. If it had been on one of the kids they definitely would have noticed and said something. Maybe it had been on the dog but again she is regularly petted so we would have noticed. Had it hitched a ride on someone's shoe? No idea so didn't think anymore or if.

That was until I was getting changed for bed. Took off my socks and I noticed a massive blood stain around the ankle area of my left leg. Further examination of the ankle I could see a puncture wound that started to bleed when I cleaned it up. So the fecking leech had attached itself to my leg, through my sock, and had a great feed on my blood and I didn't even realise.

lamppost.jpg.70f3406195adbf96daf2e9cc97bfc49f.jpg blackadderii.jpg.a00a83e91b8fd74fe14d750c9c0b798d.jpg

Fun Fact: The two ornamental lampposts outside the Medical School in Edinburgh look like they have dolphins at the bottom. 

Being a medical school, they're actually leeches. 

No f*ckwit non-Edinburgh tourist guide has made up a lie about them so unlike Greyfriars Bobby their noses remain unrubbed. 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Lunatics. Who finds a spider that size in the house and thinks, "aye, I could take that in a fight".

Obviously you apologise, move all your stuff into one room, and promise you'll never bother it again until it leaves.

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1 minute ago, BFTD said:

Lunatics. Who finds a spider that size in the house and thinks, "aye, I could take that in a fight".

Obviously you apologise, move all your stuff into one room, and promise you'll never bother it again until it leaves.

Or check your home insurance is valid, find a tank of petrol and leave the country

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  • 2 weeks later...

Black centipedes! 

Moved into a new house recently and as much as I try to keep things tidy, these wee creepy b*****ds keeps showing up. Pretty sure the wee c***s are biters and it's proper creeping me out! 

Any idea how to get rid of them without bleaching every skirting board and drain in the house?

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3 hours ago, Spyro said:

Black centipedes! 

Moved into a new house recently and as much as I try to keep things tidy, these wee creepy b*****ds keeps showing up. Pretty sure the wee c***s are biters and it's proper creeping me out! 

Any idea how to get rid of them without bleaching every skirting board and drain in the house?

I've an idea for you. 

 

Pics or GTF

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10 hours ago, Spyro said:

Black centipedes! 

Moved into a new house recently and as much as I try to keep things tidy, these wee creepy b*****ds keeps showing up. Pretty sure the wee c***s are biters and it's proper creeping me out! 

Any idea how to get rid of them without bleaching every skirting board and drain in the house?

Get a snake? 

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7 hours ago, Spyro said:

Say hello before the fucker gets flushed down the plug

That's a millipede not a centipede. they don't bite, but you might have issues with damp if you're getting them indoors.

Spoiler

Millipedes like it moist.

ken.jpg.ae31a281a78fe7b017d04d6625564a8e.jpg

 

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5 minutes ago, Rizzo said:

That's a millipede not a centipede. they don't bite, but you might have issues with damp if you're getting them indoors.

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Millipedes like it moist.

ken.jpg.ae31a281a78fe7b017d04d6625564a8e.jpg

 

I've just moved in and it looks good on the surface, but there's signs that the house was a bit of a mess before I got here. It's maybe something I need to keep an eye on. The drains aren't great outside the house but inside has been good so far

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