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Sensible Legal ways to make money.


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Arrange to meet someone. Turn up late. Hours late. Don't bother to phone to say you'll be late, just leave them waiting while they get really angry.

When you finally do turn up, make sure you're wearing a sticker with "How's my arriving?" written on it.

Set up premium phone line.

Ker.

Ching.

Edited by Bully Wee Villa
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Start a rival to The Great British Bake Off, aimed at the Chinese market and also the European market. The presenter would be top Chinese TV star Ding Yu, and the focus would be on darker, heavier breads (to appeal to the Germanic types). It would be called "How's my Rye Ding?". Naturally, viewers would be implored to dial a premium rate number.

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Start a rival to The Great British Bake Off, aimed at the Chinese market and also the European market. The presenter would be top Chinese TV star Ding Yu, and the focus would be on darker, heavier breads (to appeal to the Germanic types). It would be called "How's my Rye Ding?". Naturally, viewers would be implored to dial a premium rate number.

Come up with slightly over thought ideas.

How's my contriving?

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Join forces with various evil Tories and convince them to partake in a scheme which is supposed to be a fake charity, taking thousands of pounds from starving Africans.

Behind their backs though, change it so that the charity actually does do loads of good work, providing food, wells, Bob Geldof CDs, all the stuff that starving Africans like.

Turn up to the next Board meeting with your pissed off co-conspirators wearing a sticker that says "How's my depriving?"...

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Start a service for people who don't want to be recognised.

Premium rate phone line.

Biggest brightest coloured stickers you can afford "How's my disguising?"

You won't even have to try to be shit at this one, providing your stickers are big and bright enough.

You'll be sick of the sight of cash in a couple of days.

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Just thought of a sure fire gold mine.

Set up a premium rate number. Get a massive stack of historical files, and sort them into a pretty much random order. You should do this with a sticker saying "How's my archiving?" then the premium number, on your back.

The idea is that your sorting of the files will be so haphazard people will feel compelled to dial the number to complain, thus netting you a big profit for minimum effort. You're welcome

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A premium rate phone line company.

So you're proposing to sell premium rate phone line's phone lines to a premium rate phone line company?

Could be a money spinner - although you'd need to come up with a snappy company name (better than PRPL2PRPLC)

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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Start a new TV gameshow. Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon urges viewers to call a premium rate number to chose between competing gangs of roadworkers and travelling folks who have to tarmac a series of driveways in a limited amount of time. "How's my drive, Ming?"

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So you're proposing to sell premium rate phone line's phone lines to a premium rate phone line company?

Could be a money spinner - although you'd need to come up with a snappy company name (better than PRPL2PRPLC)

called 0800

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