Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Make predictions as to the number of SNP MPs there will be at an election then bet heavily on that prediction. The OP will understand this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Sell baby milk formula to China. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Become a tattooist in Clydebank. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Make predictions as to the number of SNP MPs there will be at an election then bet heavily on that prediction. The OP will understand this. Ill be skint 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Yougov surveys 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Yougov surveys Yes, I must have made £50 last year 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCelt67 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 The Prince of Nigeria is always looking to donate millions of pounds, all he needs is your bank details. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) 1. Get a premium phone number. Stick a sign on the back of your car/van (preferable): "How's my Driving? Call [your premium number]." 2. Drive about town like a fucking arsehole Edited May 25, 2015 by madwullie 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Raise a small claim against a council for tripping over a loose paving stone and twisting your ankle. If you make it a small amount- say £100-200 apparently they hardly bother to contest the claim as it's not worth the bother. If you try it with say, 5 biggish councils in Scotland- Edinburgh, Glasgow, Dundee, Aberdeen, Inverness say, you could end up with a grand. Alternatively get elected as a West of Scotland Labour MP and do f**k all for years... errmmm... hang on a minute... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a1974h Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Write a Xmas song 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 1. Get a premium phone number. Stick a sign on the back of your car/van (preferable): "How's my Driving? Call [your premium number]." 2. Drive about town like a fucking arsehole I'm half way there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Don't know if anybody has suggested it but if you set up a premium rate number then drive very badly with a "How's my driving" as well as your number. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadasdillinger Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 After years of disappointment with get rich quick schemes, I know I'm going to get rich with this scheme. And quick. Was coming in to post that. Great minds, sir. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Become a tattooist in Clydebank. The upside is you can make a lot of money. The downside is you will be in Clydebank. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 You start a company - "Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club". Put an advert in a gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos. You sell it with..."Does what no other dildo can do until now", "The latest and greatest in sexual technology", "Guaranteed results." All that bollocks. These dils cost 25 quid a pop - a snip for the pleasure they'll give the recipients. They send their cheques to the other company name. Not offensive, "Bobby's Bits" or something, for 25 quid. You stick it in the bank until it clears. This is the smart bit. You send back the cheque for 25 pound from the other company name - "Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club" - saying we're sorry, we couldn't get supplies from America - they ran out of stock. You see how many people cash that cheque. Not a single soul. Who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse? Been watching 'Lock Stock' recently I see. Was trying to remember which Guy Richie movie it was. Would probably have been a very good money making idea in the 80's! Become a tattooist in Clydebank. The upside is you can make a lot of money. The downside is you will be in Clydebank. C*nts. Frankie Boyle probably gave Clydebank the best slagging I can recall in one of his books. He mentioned that he used to go swimming every Wednesday afternoon in Clydebank, and that the swimming pool was generally full of folk with special needs. He then said he wasn't sure if this was because a group booked the pool on a Wednesday afternoon, or if it was the folk of Clydebank. C*nt. My suggestion to the op - Move to Norway, Switzerland, Sweden, Liechtenstein or Luxembourg and get a menial job. Use the currency inflation and a frugal lifestyle to send relatively large amounts of money back to Scotland, and retire early when you have enough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 A good idea would be to set up a premium rate phone number on a 'How's My Driving?' sticker then drive about like an idiot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Football cards passed round at work for fictional kids football teams. Low but easy, repeatable returns. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilky1878 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Put every penny you have on red, red, black on the roulette. My luck itd be fucking green. I don't think its been mentioned yet but set up a premium phone line and put a sticker for "How's my driving" and drive like a dick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowdenLoyal Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Put a sticker on the rear of your car with your phone number underneath the heading "How Good Is My Driving?". The trick is to make the number premium rate = quids in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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