Swampy Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 My old man was a copper, I never asked for the contact but can confirm it does help when to have a contact when acting like a fud. It only gets you off with so much but saves you from the beating in the cells. The police are just human like the rest of us. There are many c***s but there are a lot of good ones too. They also perform an attitude test at first contact with you. Fail it and you end up telling stories about what a bunch of c***s the police are on football forums. Once my brother was getting off a bus to go to a gig in Tain the occupants of said bus were searched on disembarkation and my bro was taken to the local station after scrumpled up piece of foil was found in his pocket. He was later released and taken back to the gig. For years he let our family believe he was being stitched up and got away with it by name dropping dad but when I mentioned this in a discussion not so long ago he said that maybe they were not stitching him up and gave a wink. Some ain't so bad. So what you're telling me is if you're a junkie it's good if your father's pals with some bent cops? Sound advice. Will definitely take it to heart if I ever decide to become an awful person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 So what you're telling me is if you're a junkie it's good if your father's pals with some bent cops? Sound advice. Will definitely take it to heart if I ever decide to become an awful person. I would definitely say it was not smack. Probably spin or weed.Back in the day a I used to see a flash of the warrant card and a handshake outside football grounds or a rugby international swapped for tickets too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I would definitely say it was not smack. Probably spin or weed. Fair enough, I assumed it was foil for cooking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 You still on the lam, then? I was hoping after 42 years I might have been safe, tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Fair enough, I assumed it was foil for cooking. Nah, it was in the days before zip lock baggies were commonplace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Is it? Never knew that. The guy must've just been feeling generous that day. I just assumed it was because he was on his own. To be fair I wasn't speeding badly, just doing about 80. I stand corrected. It was put forward 2 or 3 years ago , but the SNP , bless 'em, have put it in hold until after next year. Would've been a biggie if railroaded through. http://m.heraldscotland.com/news/13210652.SNP_u_turns_on_abolition_of_corroboration/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Nah, it was in the days before zip lock baggies were commonplace. Your brother enjoys kitkats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Your brother enjoys kitkats. Time for the "only get 4 fingers in a KitKat " joke?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I do love Ice-T in Special Victims Unit, but Body (motherfucking) Count were a fucking terrible band. Fair play to him for trying something different, though. Wisbit's convinced me about this travesty of justice - I recommend a regular protest at 3am every night from now on, marching about the town centre on eccies yelling football songs as loud as possible, to highlight the corruption endemic in our public servants. Eventually you'll end up in court and can state your case to a judge. We'll all contribute to your legal fees, pinky swear. Anyone want to set up a crowdfunding page? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjw Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I got lifted in Paisley once, it could have been..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I might still be on wanted lists in Canada. I'm risking my liberty by telling you all this tale. I trust I can rely on your discretion. I had a layover there once not long after 9/11, and the queues to get through security were immense. The wife and I would take turns switching out for beverages and suchlike. I had an ancient laptop with me that I'd been switching plugs on when going back and forth between here and the US (you don't need adapters for most of these things, fact fans - check your power brick and if it says 100-240V, you can just swap the plugs out and you're good to go). I changed the plug back to a UK one when about to head for the airport, as I didn't think I'd be using it again in North America, but they'd just started the now-familiar security thing of making you plug in your laptop and prove that it turned on before letting you through. Not sure why they do that - to make sure it isn't a bomb by...blowing up the airport? Anyway, I obviously couldn't plug my UK plug into their damned dirty foreign Canadian plug sockets, so they were going to confiscate my beloved 486 entertainment machine. But wait! I had the US plug and a screwdriver in the bag, so I went to the side and did a quick plug change while they continued exploring other people's orifices. Unfortunately, I made a wee bit of a pig's arse of it, and left a bit too much bare wire inside the plug... Back to the security station, and the lassie had me plug the laptop into their power strip. The bare wires must have been touching, which tripped a circuit breaker, and the entire security station went black - scanners, conveyor belts, the whole shebang. Neither of us connected this to the laptop and figured that something else was up, so she told me to head over to the next station while she put up the 'out of service' signs and called someone from maintenance (I assume). I walk over to the next station and explain that the other station is having a problem. He looks over to yon lassie for confirmation that I can jump the queue, and gets me to plug the laptop into his power strip. BANG Fizz pewwww.....everything powers down again, and I'm now thinking this must be something I'm doing wrong, and sweating in case the armed guards suddenly come in and question why my laptop's breaking their machinery. Thankfully, the second security laddie has no idea what happened at the first station, apologises for the inconvenience, and sends me over to the third (and final) station. I'm bricking it now as I walk over to Security Lassie #3. She's seen what's happened at Station #2 and has the power strip ready for me. She's very apologetic for holding me up. I feel like an absolute shit. I plug in the laptop with a sinking heart and, lo and behold, it springs (well, it's a 486 - slowly wakes up and yawns) into life. She sees the opening BIOS startup screen and waves me through, saying that's good enough for her, before walking back to the queue to attend to the next potential terrorist. I grab the plug, moving the cable slightly in the process, and the conveyor belt next to me stops. I look back in horror at the three-hour long queue behind us, stuff the laptop in the bag, and the wife and I run to the gate before anyone figures out what the hell is going on Wee addendum to that - it's only just occurred to me that nobody seemed to have a problem with me carrying a wee screwdriver through in hand baggage. WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gareth_Glasgow Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 sounds like a bull shit story but the fact you went to the effort to type it means I believe you. I've dodged a few traffic violations as well, got caught in Hamilton(night Rangers played Inter Milan in the champions league in front of no fans I rememeber) doing a red light, lied to the police that I was applying to join them and asked if this would affect my application- they gave me a HORTI instead and ripped up the ticket. Another time I got caught on my phone at the top cross in Airdrie whilst driving and when they pulled me over my daughter started crying, she was about 4 or 5 at the time, and the policewoman let me off. Another time I drove over a mini roundabout and they marked the wrong address on my ticket and got away with that. Another time I flew by a single copper in a 4x4 about 100 mph to piss him off as I was raging and my mum had just died a few days earlier, got chased for a wee bit by blue lights, stopped, stuck my phone on record and stated getting lippy as I knew he couldn't do me on his own word and wanted to stitch him up getting wide- basically I was acting like a complete and utter arse. Guy couldn't have been any more professional in his dealings with me, much to my disappointment and left me feeling like the absolute twat I was in doing so, Never thought of the fact that many police cars have inbuilt cameras that can monitor drivers speed either, this one didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 sounds like a bull shit story but the fact you went to the effort to type it means I believe you. It's not actually all that interesting either. Had I been wanting to bullshit it up a bit, I'd have ended up at Guantanamo. Edit: would also like to add that Canadian security staff are so nice in comparison to the Americans. Which kinda sums up the differences between the two countries TBH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Lies make Baby Jesus cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I've dodged a few traffic violations as well, got caught in Hamilton(night Rangers played Inter Milan in the champions league in front of no fans I rememeber) doing a red light, lied to the police that I was applying to join them and asked if this would affect my application- they gave me a HORTI instead and ripped up the ticket. Another time I got caught on my phone at the top cross in Airdrie whilst driving and when they pulled me over my daughter started crying, she was about 4 or 5 at the time, and the policewoman let me off. Another time I drove over a mini roundabout and they marked the wrong address on my ticket and got away with that. Another time I flew by a single copper in a 4x4 about 100 mph to piss him off as I was raging and my mum had just died a few days earlier, got chased for a wee bit by blue lights, stopped, stuck my phone on record and stated getting lippy as I knew he couldn't do me on his own word and wanted to stitch him up getting wide- basically I was acting like a complete and utter arse. Guy couldn't have been any more professional in his dealings with me, much to my disappointment and left me feeling like the absolute twat I was in doing so, Never thought of the fact that many police cars have inbuilt cameras that can monitor drivers speed either, this one didn't. My second let off was due to the officer in question forgetting a to write the number "3" in the wee box where it said penalty points. I actually went to the court clerk expecting to just have to pay a fine and get off with the points as I was accepting the fixed penalty. When the woman told me it made the whole ticket void I was delighted. Will continue to use my phone until further (fixed penalty) notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Lies make Baby Jesus cry. I wish someone had told me this earlier. I fucking hate babies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 FWIW I believe every part of Tabby Dave's post, including how artlessly the security systems are set up (plugged into the mains and the normal circuitry such that they can easily be compromised.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 FWIW I believe every part of Tabby Dave's post, including how artlessly the security systems are set up (plugged into the mains and the normal circuitry such that they can easily be compromised.) It was a long time ago; I'm sure they've improved things since then. Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I wish someone had told me this earlier. I fucking hate babies Sorry Dave, that was aimed at the Chlamydia Kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No_Problemo Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Used to be in the police, it was mind numbingly boring and couldn't see myself doing it for another 33 years. Being sent out to try and get traffic tickets all day as a "beat cop" was a pile of pish. The people willing to give a 90 year old a ticket for leaving their fog lights on tended to be thought of best on the shift as they brought in the most tickets, pathetic. Tickets brought in tended to be compared to each other after every month. From my experience probably about 75% good guys but the rest with no people skills whatsoever who simply causes situations by their actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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