Fae_the_'briggs Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Fitba' boots nowadays! What the hell ever happened to plain auld black n white boots and buying a new set of cheap aluminium studs every six months? Fluorescent coloured boots?! Blades?! Rubber fins?! In the name of f**k! I've had pairs of slippers that give more protection than these modern football "boots". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) That's what the chalk is for. You write your name assess & phone number on each pebble so that if you are lost on the pebbly beach the polis can come and pick up your pebbles & return them home for your family to have something to remember you by. Silly sausage. Grimbo It's a good plan, but it's far from foolproof. What happens if it rains when you're out getting lost, and the rain washes the chalk off the pebbles? Or the tide comes in, and turns 'em upside down as well as washing off the chalk? Your family could end up with nothing to remember you by, or even worse a random collection of pebbles that had nothing at all to do with you. It's just too big a risk to take!No, by far the best plan when going for a walk is to get a collection of old elastic bungee cords from the boot of the car, string them together and attach them to the back of your braces before setting out. That way you can't walk too far and you'll do the return journey in double-quick time - win-win! Anyway, I digress - time to get back to thinking about Linda Ronstadt.............. Edited November 25, 2015 by Rudolph Hucker -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I've had pairs of slippers that give more protection than these modern football "boots". Are they the front zip bootee type? I want a pair of those but with the go faster stripe. Yay it's me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 It's a good plan, but it's far from foolproof. What happens if it rains when you're out getting lost, and the rain washes the chalk off the pebbles? Or the tide comes in, and turns 'em upside down as well as washing off the chalk? Your family could end up with nothing to remember you by, or even worse a random collection of pebbles that had nothing at all to do with you. It's just too big a risk to take! No, by far the best plan when going for a walk is to get a collection of old elastic bungee cords from the boot of the car, string them together and attach them to the back of your braces before setting out. That way you can't walk too far and you'll do the return journey in double-quick time - win-win! Anyway, I digress - time to get back to thinking about Linda Ronstadt.............. Me too by that I mean I'm also thinkin of LR, not thinking of you thinking of her. It gets a bit confusing nowadays. Woo-hoo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Cold, blowing a gale and pishing down 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Cold, blowing a gale and pishing down Enough about your health problems, how's the weather? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Enough about your health problems, how's the weather? Much the same 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I drove from Alloa to Irvine and back today in that pissing rain, to see my mother. Wish I had stayed in the house 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I drove from Alloa to Irvine and back today in that pissing rain, to see my mother. Wish I had stayed in the houseIrvine ? Whereabouts ? Visiting yer mother , what age are you , sixty or something young un? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Irvine ? Whereabouts ? Visiting yer mother , what age are you , sixty or something young un? Girdle Toll, and the old fart is 83 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I drove from Alloa to Irvine and back today in that pissing rain, to see my mother. Wish I had stayed in the house My p***k of a son drove down from Alloa to see me today and made out he was trying to navigate the Cape of Good Hope. Wish he hadn't bothered. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Are they the front zip bootee type? I want a pair of those but with the go faster stripe. Yay it's me. Of course. They are tartan with sheepskin lining. Go fast stripes and tartan is not a good look and will not make you look "cool" in front of the ladies.. (I believe that is the expression the young un's use). I drove from Alloa to Irvine and back today in that pissing rain, to see my mother. Wish I had stayed in the house Your mother carried you for nine months and probably endured a torturous labour ( don't they all) and you are moaning about a wee drive from Alloa to Irvine. She gave you the best years of her life and you begrudge her a few hours. Did you go to check if her insurance policies are all up to date. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Of course. They are tartan with sheepskin lining. Go fast stripes and tartan is not a good look and will not make you look "cool" in front of the ladies.. (I believe that is the expression the young un's use). Your mother carried you for nine months and probably endured a torturous labour ( don't they all) and you are moaning about a wee drive from Alloa to Irvine. She gave you the best years of her life and you begrudge her a few hours. Did you go to check if her insurance policies are all up to date. Not just Irvine folks , Girdle Toll. A break should be given here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Not just Irvine folks , Girdle Toll. A break should be given here. You're right Archie, I remember going up to play an Amateur Cup Tie against Girdle Toll many, many years ago and the experience haunts me still. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Of course. They are tartan with sheepskin lining. Go fast stripes and tartan is not a good look and will not make you look "cool" in front of the ladies.. (I believe that is the expression the young un's use). . I take it you mean the blue rinse brigade eh Briggsy? Bare backing a blue rinser, boom bang-a-bang. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Your mother carried you for nine months and probably endured a torturous labour ( don't they all) It gives them something to talk about for the rest of their lives. And they do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I take it you mean the blue rinse brigade eh Briggsy? Bare backing a blue rinser, boom bang-a-bang. Grimbo A gentleman never tells, but I find the blue rinse brigade to be very accommodating and frankly grateful for what little comfort I can give them. I did have a bit of an embarrassing experience recently with a "blue rinser", a friend of a friend. She asked if I would do a couple of small jobs at her house which I was happy to do. As I worked away we chatted and the conversation started to get a bit personal. I thought I would chance my arm so being as subtle as I could I suggested that I would be much obliged if she would take her teeth out and give me a gummy gobble. She was not impressed and delivered a quick slap across my face. "I've never been so insulted" she cried, "I may be getting on a bit but I still have all my own teeth" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 A gentleman never tells, but I find the blue rinse brigade to be very accommodating and frankly grateful for what little comfort I can give them. I did have a bit of an embarrassing experience recently with a "blue rinser", a friend of a friend. She asked if I would do a couple of small jobs at her house which I was happy to do. As I worked away we chatted and the conversation started to get a bit personal. I thought I would chance my arm so being as subtle as I could I suggested that I would be much obliged if she would take her teeth out and give me a gummy gobble. She was not impressed and delivered a quick slap across my face. "I've never been so insulted" she cried, "I may be getting on a bit but I still have all my own teeth" School boy error Briggsy lad, no excuse. That said it's no big deal losing face like that. Had you been orally proficient a gummy gobble would have been on the cards. So well played pal for taking one. You have now gone up in my estimation. Yours truly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 What the f**k are they teaching in schools nowadays? They just seem to churn out battalions of illiterate, innumerate tree huggers. Can't spell, punctuate or count their shoelaces but they know all about the plight of the Amazonian tree pygmies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 What the f**k are they teaching in schools nowadays? They just seem to churn out battalions of illiterate, innumerate tree huggers. Can't spell, punctuate or count their shoelaces but they know all about the plight of the Amazonian tree pygmies. The wee buggers are hardly ever there now. Holidays, In-Service days, day trips, jaunts abroad, too windy, too wet, more than a half inch of snow and the schools are closed. I bet when they are there they spend more time talking on their mobile phones, sending "selfies" or bullying some poor sod and putting it on YouTube for a laugh as they do learning the "3 R's". Even when they are doing school work they have the help of computers, calculators, etc, not much brainwork required. As for the teachers, there are obviously some good, dedicated teachers but a lot of them are looking to get away from the school even more than the pupils are. It's just a job now not a vocation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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