jagfox Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Fucking chanking 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Fucking chanking Chinese holiday not going well? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 The trams, not like they where in my day. That Chinese talk has got me thinking like, they folk know how to stop all the pollution of the cities, give everyone a bike, 'spect that's all changed these days eh? Yours truly 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 You could always ignore it and move on instead of greeting like a wee brat that's caught his willy in his zip. Just sayin likes. Zips eh, fantastic invention. The amount of time that this wee invention has saved the world is immeasurable. Buttons are for cardies IMHO. Yours Truly 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 You could always ignore it and move on instead of greeting like a wee brat that's caught his willy in his zip. Just sayin likes. Aaah, if only there was an unfunny little movie clip that said " OOOH touched a nerve there, did I?" -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Zips eh, fantastic invention. The amount of time that this wee invention has saved the world is immeasurable. Buttons are for cardies IMHO. Yours Truly Have you not got your grey zip up cardigan with the suede on the elbows and shoulders any more? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Have you not got your grey zip up cardigan with the suede on the elbows and shoulders any more? Mistaken identity. My grey Cardy is of the buttoned type. Never had a zipper type nor with the leather elbows. I'm happy with zip up windjammers & other such overcoats. Does that help? Yours truly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Zips eh, fantastic invention. The amount of time that this wee invention has saved the world is immeasurable. Buttons are for cardies IMHO. Yours Truly It's only been in these last few months that I have begun to fully appreciate the humble zip. Around Eastertime I bought a new pair of jeans. The ones that were the shade of denim blue that I was after had a button fly, the first zipfree lower outergarments I've had in (hung like a?) donkeys' years. No probs, I thought; allow a few extra seconds to unbutton and get the tackle into position before taking the piss. So much for the theory. Most of my boxers have button flies, and usually it's straightforward - stand at the bog/ urinal, unzip, reach in with both hands (both fingers if it's cold), pull the boy out and proceed to siphon the python. SOME of my boxers, though, don't have a fly, and it's a case of hoiking the boxer leg up a bit and then bending Rudi Junior through boxers and then jeans before letting fly. Not usually a major issue - unless I a ) am wearing the buttonfly jeans, b ) haven't undone all the buttons, meaning less room for the fishing expedition and to do the bendybus bit, and c ) I'm in the pub and about to "break the seal" after a few pints. The result is much swearing, plenty fumbling and a few near things. If only I could remember to wear buttonfly boxers with buttonfly jeans, but time after time I manage to get it wrong. I think it's penile dementia. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I think it's penile dementia. You are Lady Colin Campbell and I claim my £5 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 You are Lady Colin Campbell and I claim my £5 No, I'm Major Dickie Rection. And I think I've lost my deposit. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Well that was quite a read. If only you'd signed off with 'Grimbo'. Or better yet, 'I caught my cock on my zip' I actually had a small urinary accident reading Rudi's fly tipping story. But surely a more fitting cock catching finish would be if it was a button down catch all incident? YT 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 It's only been in these last few months that I have begun to fully appreciate the humble zip. Around Eastertime I bought a new pair of jeans. The ones that were the shade of denim blue that I was after had a button fly, the first zipfree lower outergarments I've had in (hung like a?) donkeys' years. No probs, I thought; allow a few extra seconds to unbutton and get the tackle into position before taking the piss. So much for the theory. Most of my boxers have button flies, and usually it's straightforward - stand at the bog/ urinal, unzip, reach in with both hands (both fingers if it's cold), pull the boy out and proceed to siphon the python. SOME of my boxers, though, don't have a fly, and it's a case of hoiking the boxer leg up a bit and then bending Rudi Junior through boxers and then jeans before letting fly. Not usually a major issue - unless I a ) am wearing the buttonfly jeans, b ) haven't undone all the buttons, meaning less room for the fishing expedition and to do the bendybus bit, and c ) I'm in the pub and about to "break the seal" after a few pints. The result is much swearing, plenty fumbling and a few near things. If only I could remember to wear buttonfly boxers with buttonfly jeans, but time after time I manage to get it wrong. I think it's penile dementia. You surely also have the post-micturition time factor to consider with all those buttons as you depart the pub or other public urinal with a queue behind you. Do you depart with fly still being restored to closed, or remain at the pisser doing the buttons whilst the queue nurses it's ire? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 You surely also have the post-micturition time factor to consider with all those buttons as you depart the pub or other public urinal with a queue behind you. Do you depart with fly still being restored to closed, or remain at the pisser doing the buttons whilst the queue nurses it's ire? I make 'em wait . Should only be a problem if there's someone there in a similar predicament, and they can always do their fumbling while I'm doing my buttoning. The only time I step away from the urinal to do me self up is if I go for a post-match pee at Cappielow. The memory of being 12 years old and jammed in amongst 120,000 others on the Hampden terracing when someone had a Bovril-infused piss in my pocket still lingers! -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Needs a gif tbh. Would need a wide-angle lens to take it, tbh. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Mistaken identity. My grey Cardy is of the buttoned type. Never had a zipper type nor with the leather elbows. I'm happy with zip up windjammers & other such overcoats. Does that help? Yours truly. Ha! You did, you fucking did it. You never signed that post off with "grimbo". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Ha! You did, you fucking did it. You never signed that post off with "grimbo". Wow. Creepy.............. -3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Wow. Creepy.............. To be fair to Philpy. That isn't creepy at all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 To be fair to Philpy. That isn't creepy at all.It's actually really witty tbf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Wow. Creepy.............. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 I make 'em wait . Should only be a problem if there's someone there in a similar predicament, and they can always do their fumbling while I'm doing my buttoning. The only time I step away from the urinal to do me self up is if I go for a post-match pee at Cappielow. The memory of being 12 years old and jammed in amongst 120,000 others on the Hampden terracing when someone had a Bovril-infused piss in my pocket still lingers! Erotic Dreams thread for this...err...pish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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