welshbairn Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 minute ago, Mortar Bored said: My mum is in recovery after surgery on anal fissures right now. Pass on my deepest sympathies. Mine got sorted eventually with some seriously strong steroid and/or cortisone cream. You get absolutely no sympathy from anyone, just chuckles at you waddling about in agony trying to stop your arsecheeks from touching. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbelle Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Who'd have thought it, doctors can fix ar***oles ;-) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJM1903 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 (edited) Depression, Liver disease (i don't even drink!), chronic migraines and severe insomnia. Hey, at least the drugs are good! ETA - Asthma too. It's a c**t. Edited July 20, 2016 by DJM1903 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Who'd have thought it, doctors can fix ar***oles ;-) Why the f**k aren't they fixing Wayne Rooney, Michelle Mone and the entire Tory Cabinet then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 A few years back, I was at a party and my wife commented on the state of my lower legs. They were all swollen and purple. That was just your fucking horrendous shoes, m8. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 (edited) 3 minutes ago, smpar said: That was just your fucking horrendous shoes, m8. 500 lines. I must not be a cheeky wee c**t! Edited July 20, 2016 by Shandon Par 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 minute ago, Shandon Par said: 500 lines. I must not be a cheeky wee c**t! That's a lot of cocaine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Pass on my deepest sympathies. Mine got sorted eventually with some seriously strong steroid and/or cortisone cream. You get absolutely no sympathy from anyone, just chuckles at you waddling about in agony trying to stop your arsecheeks from touching. Just got a text from her, she says the operation went well.She has suffered the same as you for years, her current surgeon is apparently very good, he even cracked the joke on first examination" the last surgeon you had, made an arse of this"She also said her new man-friend will be happy with the results, I'm really hoping it's because she won't have to rush to the toilet when on a dinner date! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louis Litt Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I get aura migraines about once every 3 months or so. My left eye goes blurred for about a half hour before an annoying headache rolls over into pretty much the worst headache imaginable in the right hand side of my head. Pretty much have to lock myself in total darkness and try to sleep it off, which isn't easy when it feels like someone's taken a hammer to a side of your head. Fun stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Do they teach you plagiarism at school these days? I do apologise, good sir. Every time I see Shandon post, I've just got to get torn into they shoes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I've got Gilbert's syndrome. Something I have in common with Napoleon Bonaparte and Nicky Wire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 minute ago, Mortar Bored said: Just got a text from her, she says the operation went well. She has suffered the same as you for years, her current surgeon is apparently very good, he even cracked the joke on first examination" the last surgeon you had, made an arse of this" She also said her new man-friend will be happy with the results, I'm really hoping it's because she won't have to rush to the toilet when on a dinner date! That's the thing, because of the immense pain you delay shitting as long as possible, so when you have to go you really have to go, and you look white faced out of a torture chamber for 15 minutes after. Not ideal for a date. On the plus side my experience was about 20 years ago and it hasn't returned, apart from minor external piles issues which we needn't go into. You may be reassured to know that since the episode I am even more dedicated to keep my brown temple inviolate, despite being of a fairly liberal mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Developed Tinnitus when I was 16-17 which has never went away. No idea how I got it but I've learned to ignore it. Hopefully it won't ever get worse as the worst forms of it can be utterly unbearable and it can make people suicidal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 This thread gives new meaning to P&B being full of sick b*****ds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Never heard of ocular migraines before but quite fancy giving it a try sometime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 You've all got my sympathy FWIW. Kevin Smith's anal fissure tales are worth a listen for being alternately funny and horrific, if any of the sufferers need cheering up.. The wife would be good at this game; she's got a wristband with all of her conditions and allergies engraved for when she ends up in hospital again, as she ended up without her meds for days last time. Good times. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 hour ago, DJM1903 said: Depression, Liver disease (i don't even drink!), chronic migraines and severe insomnia. Hey, at least the drugs are good! ETA - Asthma too. It's a c**t. Having seen your stupendous pic on the Aberdeen thread, I don't think you can complain too much about these petty ailments. The Lord giveth with one hand and taketh with the other. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 2 hours ago, hearthammer said: I was on Methotrexate a few years back to combat my chronic psoriasis after id used a number of topical creams, ointments, etc, over a long number of years.. Stuff made me worse as it had little or no effect on my condition & made me feel absolutely hellish most of the time. I was taken off it after about 6 months. Ive also had Cyclosporin which had no real effect. Ive been on Adalimumab (Humira) for about 4 1/2 years now &, although my skin is around 80% clear most of the time, it knocks 20 shades of shite out of my stomach regularly which restricts my social life & general wellbeing. Like most modern drugs, they help/affect everybody differently & they all have their own degrees of side-effects that, again, affect everybody differently. What's a hearthammer? Is it a symptom or a cure? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 51 minutes ago, Jamaldo said: Developed Tinnitus when I was 16-17 which has never went away. No idea how I got it but I've learned to ignore it. Hopefully it won't ever get worse as the worst forms of it can be utterly unbearable and it can make people suicidal. You utter utter utter b*****d. I have tinnitus which I mostly forget about until someone mentions it. You utter utter utter b*****d. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I'm not a trained gynaecologist but I'll have a fucking good look. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.