Desert Nomad Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 My ex is a total nightmare. Violently shakes for the entire journey, can't read or watch anything. Furthest I flew with her was Bulgaria with a change in Frankfurt. Thankfully never again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Just now, Desert Nomad said: My ex is a total nightmare. Violently shakes for the entire journey, can't read or watch anything. Furthest I flew with her was Bulgaria with a change in Frankfurt. Thankfully never again. Give her something to hold onto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 8 minutes ago, Bully Di Villa said: Jesus, didn't know fish could fly. Aye, he wasn't all he was cracked up to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Just now, 8MileBU said: Valium and beer mate. I've been using both to deal with flights for a few years. Just go to your doctor and tell him/her how you feel about flying and that you want Valium. You might want to also ask about getting beta-blockers too. I hope that DDcups isn't a pilot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I take drink and value to fall asleep. Unfortunately my phobia of drooling and snoring like Homer Simpson stops me from nodding off. Thus rendering me mortally drunk and terrified. Valium Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I take drink and value to fall asleep. Unfortunately my phobia of drooling and snoring like Homer Simpson stops me from nodding off. Thus rendering me mortally drunk and terrified. Taking your own drinks onto the plane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I'd take the book Jaws by Peter Benchley (1974) on the plane & skip to the end so I'd know how to deal with the shark, I'm not going to go down with out a fight. G-Bo If I remember in the book the shark just gets exhausted and drowns, you'd be better ramming a scuba tank into its mouth then shooting it with an M1 garand rifle..if you hit the tank it should explode like the death star. Usually works for me anyway, whenever I have to improvise at short notice.Oh and remember to make a suitably pithy bon mot just as you pull the trigger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 1 minute ago, pittsburgh phil said: If I remember in the book the shark just gets exhausted and drowns, you'd be better ramming a scuba tank into its mouth then shooting it with an M1 garand rifle..if you hit the tank it should explode like the death star. Usually works for me anyway, whenever I have to improvise at short notice. Oh and remember to make a suitably pithy bon mot just as you pull the trigger. It's going to be some hand luggage on my flight but better to be safe than sorry. G-Bo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Just now, pittsburgh phil said: bon mot From Athee Deethee? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 8 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Unfortunately my phobia of drooling and snoring like Homer Simpson stops me from nodding off. Valium Or possibly yelling "bombs away!" in your sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tintax Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Not afraid of flying but I hate the whole experience of it. From taking off to the excruciating pain in my ears when coming in to land. Then there's the crampness, I'm 6ft 4 so I spend the whole journey in agony at not being able to move my legs. And yes I really should book the seats with extra leg room Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker_d Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I flew Airasia the day after that plane went down in the Java Sea. Was one of the worst flights ever. Every child on the plane burst into tears as we were taxing before take off ( i kept replaying Final Destination in my head) and people were crying and screaming at every bit of turbulence. I was already a nightmare because a flight I had got a couple of months before that had flown through a storm and I could hear the stall alarm from where I was sitting near the front of the plane. Had to take pills for a few flights after that. It works because you're too spaced out to get get even remotely worked up. After that I downloaded Flightradar and would analyse every flight for a few days before I was due to take it. Then I'd set my stop watch and time how long I was on the plane for. Then go on the Aviation Herald the next day to make sure nothing had gone wrong with the flight I was on. These days though I try not to be a complete and utter mental case and, as others have suggested, just get drunk. If it's long haul they provide the booze, you have a swally then fall asleep. If it's short haul then buy a couple of they wee plastic travel bottles you get from Ikea for you toiletries and fill them with rum. Get a bottle of coke to mix them with. Plane booze is the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 9 minutes ago, tintax said: Not afraid of flying but I hate the whole experience of it. From taking off to the excruciating pain in my ears when coming in to land. Then there's the crampness, I'm 6ft 4 so I spend the whole journey in agony at not being able to move my legs. And yes I really should book the seats with extra leg room Do you get the c***s who, after the seatbelt sign goes off, spend ten minutes slamming their seat into your knees and turning to glare at you because there's no room to recline? Even had one call a stewardess to complain. Some folk turn into absolute arseholes when they get on board a plane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerrdavidson95 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I'm a pilot. That should be enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDcups Posted August 1, 2016 Author Share Posted August 1, 2016 1 hour ago, 8MileBU said: Valium and beer mate. I've been using both to deal with flights for a few years. Just go to your doctor and tell him/her how you feel about flying and that you want Valium. You might want to also ask about getting beta-blockers too. What will the beta blockers do? I'm fucked, the pilots are gonna be in massive debt and slam into the side of a hill or think it's funny to fly into bad turbulence like those American c***s that flew me last time.Maybe Isis will start their shit and I will need to go Harrison ford on them but end up , I won't even get a decent last meal. The food is like baby shit with a tiny roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I wouldn't say I enjoy the flying but it's bearable, the bit that pisses me off is all the waiting beforehand.I've only been really nervous once, and that was on a flight home from Palma through a thunderstorm. It's the only time I've ever seen cabin crew look nervous and they were told to put all the trolleys away and sit down and get strapped in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fanny paddery Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Love all these people saying you have more chance of dying in a car accident than an air accident. I am sure that is the case, but while I am in a plane I think my odds of dying in an air accident are far far higher than the odds of dying in a car accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Think of the guys forced to fly in Lancaster bombers fighting Nazis. Then man up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 The Japanese pilots were braver, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 The Japanese pilots were braver, IMO. Not really, they didn't have to worry about landing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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