bigdel6cans Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Stay on a wee island on west coast of Scotland so have to get the ferry to commute to work, we used to use the 1 car to get to the ferry but she has dropped down to part time and i get the train now so we have 2 cars on the island, so now she is driving herself to the ferry terminal carpark and get a call from her sounding a bit perplexed and agitated asking ....do i nèed to dri e into the space or reverse in ? you know i can only reverse out !! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 When the Slovakian was second yellowed for diving, asked why he was booked. I reply because he's a cheating diving c**t who should be caned.Her response? He probably fell over scared with the goalkeeper rushing out to get him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Stay on a wee island on west coast of Scotland so have to get the ferry to commute to work, we used to use the 1 car to get to the ferry but she has dropped down to part time and i get the train now so we have 2 cars on the island, so now she is driving herself to the ferry terminal carpark and get a call from her sounding a bit perplexed and agitated asking ....do i nèed to dri e into the space or reverse in ? you know i can only reverse out !! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 "You ready to go?? ! " Asking the person who's been ready for half an hour, waiting on her to get ready. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: o"You ready to go?? ! " Asking the person who's been ready for half an hour, waiting on her to get ready. Family funerals are a disaster for getting away from - the men are all hanging around the door, ready to go after being advised "We're going now", only for their women to start talking to yet another relative. If we men did that there would be hell to play, I tells ya. Edited October 14, 2017 by Jacksgranda slepnigl 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 "I've left my purse in the car, can you go and get it for me?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 4 minutes ago, philpy said: "I've left my purse in the car, can you go and get it for me?" Worst is, I've left my purse in the car. Can I use your card to pay this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 No you fucking well can't sarge. I'm at work and I've not even got my wallet with me. Cheeky c**t. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 1 hour ago, philpy said: No you fucking well can't sarge. I'm at work and I've not even got my wallet with me. Cheeky c**t. Still there at 12.00, good for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdel6cans Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 How did you get into my family photo album ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 4 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Get the baby off to sleep in her chair, just as Mrs B decides to shout at the cat for some perceived slight and wakes her up. The cat. The answer is :- Drug both Mrs B and the cat, but then place the cat on Mrs B's face and suffocate her. Smoke cigar. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 “Could you pick up something for dinner on your way home”She works in a supermarket and the previous text she told me she had just bought pumpkins after work. Gtf 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 My HouseHarridan has a myriad of foibles, peccadilloes and habits that drive me nuts and I won’t bore you with a list........however, the main aneurism-inducing, deliberate act she does without fail is leaving the garlic press lying unwashed on the worktop after she’s washed up all the other shite....she appears to have a pathological fear of cleaning the thing. [emoji34] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) It's Sunday, we've just had three days of grandkids and I've suggested a meal and the cinema to relax and unwind. "No, I think we should do a 'deep' clean in the house" aye well, happy fucking days Edited October 22, 2017 by heedthebaa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennboy1978 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 It's Sunday, we've just had three days of grandkids and I've suggested a meal and the cinema to relax and unwind. "No, I think we should do a 'deep' clean in the house" aye well, happy fucking days Same for me, step daughter is back on Thursday for her forthcoming wedding. Apparently every room has to be gutted and painted for her arrival. Wouldn't be surprised if there a red carpet in a Yodel van with our address on it.Add to that "It's only a game" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 11 minutes ago, Kennboy1978 said: Same for me, step daughter is back on Thursday for her forthcoming wedding. Apparently every room has to be gutted and painted for her arrival. Wouldn't be surprised if there a red carpet in a Yodel van with our address on it. Add to that "It's only a game" Aye I'd argue but what's the point 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 It's Sunday, we've just had three days of grandkids and I've suggested a meal and the cinema to relax and unwind. "No, I think we should do a 'deep' clean in the house" aye well, happy fucking days Should have told her “pics or gtf!” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 You see WE has now changed to ME doing this deep clean, she's fucked off into her summerhouse because she has things to do that's important out there. I truly love her pie, but I'm putting my steel toe cap boots on if this persists 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 47 minutes ago, Kennboy1978 said: step daughter is back You know the drill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Her and her mate have eaten the cheesecake I bought for my cheat day. I am so angry I can hardly keep down the porridge she made for breakfast 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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