Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 5 minutes ago, MONKMAN said: That’s the one. Seemingly it’s on the sun website now, as the guy is married and also lead singer in some reasonably well known band down that way. The Poo Fighters? 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Someone posted a video of a lassie getting shat on and then pumped on my twitter feed the other day. How do you even broach that subject with a partner? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post pj_puttz Posted January 9, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 9, 2019 Conversation this morning: (sitting in the car, the Mrs nods towards a woman coming out of her car about 20 feet away) Mrs: There's Jane. Me: Who's that then? Mrs: Jane. That Jane that you know. Me: (squinting and wracking my brain) I don't know who that is. Mrs: Yes you do! Jane! The cousin! Me: I honestly don't think I've ever seen that woman before in my life. Mrs: (annoyed now) See the way you speak to me sometimes! Me: ???? Mrs: Just forget it. Me: OK. Mrs: You know her, she's related to someone you know. From Facebook. Me: (starting to sort of piece it together) Do you mean the woman YOU know who we discovered was a cousin of someone I used to work with? Mrs: (angry) So you DO know who she is! Me: I started to figure it out once I had a bit more information, aye, but it's not me who knows her. It's you. I've never met her. Mrs: (still angry) So how come you didn't recognise her if you know her from Facebook? Me: Because I don't know her and I've never met her before in my life. You're talking about someone we had a 10 second conversation about several weeks ago because she popped up on Facebook as being a mutual friend of someone on my Facebook. Someone I haven't worked with or heard from in about 10 years. Mrs: (raging) You do know her though, you knew fine well who I was talking about! Me: Aye I can recognise someone I've never met from 20 feet away based on a Facebook picture I glanced at for a few seconds several weeks ago, because she is a cousin of someone I worked in the same general vicinity of and barely spoke to 10 years ago. Mrs: (beelin) Aye whatever. You knew what I meant. Me: (biting my tongue for the sake of peace) We then proceed to sit in silence for the entire journey to work, her seething and me baffled AND seething. 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Wid (Jane). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 14 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Wid (Jane). From 20 feet? At speed? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pj_puttz Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 15 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Wid (Jane). Cannot confirm. Didn't get a good enough look at her. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 2 minutes ago, pj_puttz said: Cannot confirm. Didn't get a good enough look at her. Aye ok. You know exactly what she's like. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 3 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: Aye ok. You know exactly what she's like. "Didn't recognise here with her clothes on" response IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pj_puttz Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I think I got away with it. Classic deflection technique. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 51 minutes ago, pj_puttz said: I think I got away with it. Classic deflection technique. "never mind Jane, have you seen Throbber's texts?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Wives are like cats, in that they spot something of yours that they like, and slowly proceed to make it theirs. First it's yours. Then it comes under shared ownership ("We're married, aren't we?"). Then it takes up residence in her side of the wardrobe or equivalent but remains under shared ownership ("I use it more often, don't I?"). Then once you've forgotten you ever owned it, it's hers and the process is complete. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 4 minutes ago, nsr said: Wives are like cats, in that they spot something of yours that they like, and slowly proceed to make it theirs. First it's yours. Then it comes under shared ownership ("We're married, aren't we?"). Then it takes up residence in her side of the wardrobe or equivalent but remains under shared ownership ("I use it more often, don't I?"). Then once you've forgotten you ever owned it, it's hers and the process is complete. You talking about your bollocks or a jumper? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said: You talking about your bollocks or a jumper? The latest example was my holdall which I used to pack if I'd go away for a week, something I didn't do very often. The wife uses it as a weekend bag and even then it's full to bursting. But meh. It's hers now, apparently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) On 1/7/2019 at 17:14, ah-dee said: mine doesnt check use by dates on anything when shopping so we end up with stuff like chicken, steak and pork all dated the following day. this is ome of the many reasons i try to get out for the shopping alone. This also makes me furious (not in the case or your wife. She makes me angry in other ways). Mine routinely buys meat and bread products without first checking the dates. She also regularly forgets stuff we need. Because of this I go shopping far more often, consequently giving her the ability to reference "being left with the kids" when I do. So I end up unnecessarily trying to negotiate supermarkets with a 4 year old whose opinion of the process veers from excitement at all the things he's not allowed to grab, to abject and vocal boredom. And all because I'd rather we didn't have a fridge full of food that's gone bad. Edited January 9, 2019 by milton75 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 This also makes me furious (not in the case or your wife. She makes me angry in other ways). Mine routinely buys meat and bread products without first checking the dates. She also regularly forgets stuff we need. Because of this I go shopping far more often, consequently giving her the ability to reference "being left with the kids" when I do. So I end up unnecessarily trying to negotiate supermarkets with a 4 year old whose opinion of the process veers from excitement at all the things he's not allowed to grab, to abject and vocal boredom. And all because I'd rather we didn't have a fridge full of food that's gone bad.shes just in the house 10 minutes ago with bread dated the 11th! she had 1 job, get bread on her way home and couldnt do that properly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Just picked up in the car for lunch, she has been shopping this morning. Can she put the shopping in the boot...or the back seat.......or the floor behind the drivers seat.....NO All bags (her handbag and 2 shopping bags) are in the footwell of the front passenger seat where I am supposed to put my feet. Every bloody time I get in the car the space for my feet is full of bags that could be elsewhere. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) On 09/01/2019 at 10:23, pj_puttz said: Conversation this morning: (sitting in the car, the Mrs nods towards a woman coming out of her car about 20 feet away) Mrs: There's Jane. Me: Who's that then? Mrs: Jane. That Jane that you know. Me: (squinting and wracking my brain) I don't know who that is. Mrs: Yes you do! Jane! The cousin! Me: I honestly don't think I've ever seen that woman before in my life. Mrs: (annoyed now) See the way you speak to me sometimes! Me: ???? Mrs: Just forget it. Me: OK. Mrs: You know her, she's related to someone you know. From Facebook. Me: (starting to sort of piece it together) Do you mean the woman YOU know who we discovered was a cousin of someone I used to work with? Mrs: (angry) So you DO know who she is! Me: I started to figure it out once I had a bit more information, aye, but it's not me who knows her. It's you. I've never met her. Mrs: (still angry) So how come you didn't recognise her if you know her from Facebook? Me: Because I don't know her and I've never met her before in my life. You're talking about someone we had a 10 second conversation about several weeks ago because she popped up on Facebook as being a mutual friend of someone on my Facebook. Someone I haven't worked with or heard from in about 10 years. Mrs: (raging) You do know her though, you knew fine well who I was talking about! Me: Aye I can recognise someone I've never met from 20 feet away based on a Facebook picture I glanced at for a few seconds several weeks ago, because she is a cousin of someone I worked in the same general vicinity of and barely spoke to 10 years ago. Mrs: (beelin) Aye whatever. You knew what I meant. Me: (biting my tongue for the sake of peace) We then proceed to sit in silence for the entire journey to work, her seething and me baffled AND seething. I'm ripping just reading that. What must go on in their fucking heads sometimes? Edited January 10, 2019 by HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 my mrs occasionally nicks my single malts when she is pished and fancies another drink. She is quite wee so i put them on top of the kitchen cupboard. Apparently i'm mean for laughing at her for being unable to walk today because she bruised her arse falling off a stool. i love karma. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) On 08/01/2019 at 21:19, KnightswoodBear said: Someone posted a video of a lassie getting shat on and then pumped on my twitter feed the other day. On 08/01/2019 at 21:36, MONKMAN said: That’s the one. Seemingly it’s on the sun website now, as the guy is married and also lead singer in some reasonably well known band down that way. The Arseholes? ETA: Zen Archer did it better. Edited January 11, 2019 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 22 hours ago, MEADOWXI said: Just picked up in the car for lunch, she has been shopping this morning. Can she put the shopping in the boot...or the back seat.......or the floor behind the drivers seat.....NO All bags (her handbag and 2 shopping bags) are in the footwell of the front passenger seat where I am supposed to put my feet. Every bloody time I get in the car the space for my feet is full of bags that could be elsewhere. Sit in the back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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