DA Baracus Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 3 hours ago, Stellaboz said: My missus watched a stupid little seminar that was meant to help you decide how best to save money for retirement. It's basically a sales pitch to get you to buy a portfolio management software for a year for a few hundred euros. Now, she's showing me graphs explaining why we should invest in the stock market like she's some Wolf of Wallstreet expert. Tell her to invest in women's shoes 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 3 hours ago, Stellaboz said: My missus watched a stupid little seminar that was meant to help you decide how best to save money for retirement. It's basically a sales pitch to get you to buy a portfolio management software for a year for a few hundred euros. Now, she's showing me graphs explaining why we should invest in the stock market like she's some Wolf of Wallstreet expert. How much washing up do you think you could do without any washing up liquid? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 17 hours ago, JamesP_81 said: After 6 years of marriage I was pretty confident I'd cracked her enigma code of the correct way to fold clothes, what order the kids clothes go in their drawers, what the correct arrangement for cushions is etc... Only now she's went and watched some Japanese bint on Netflix and has completely changed everything. My enigma decoder has been rendered useless!! 6 years, eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 20 hours ago, JamesP_81 said: After 6 years of marriage I was pretty confident I'd cracked her enigma code of the correct way to fold clothes, what order the kids clothes go in their drawers, what the correct arrangement for cushions is etc... Isn't it just her making sure that the clothes/items you use most frequently are put at the bottom and the ones you never use/wear are always at the top? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HI HAT Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 Coldest night of year but it came as a complete surprise to the good lady wife that her car would need the windscreen scraped . She goes out to clear the windscreen and leaves the front door wide open, the house is freezing cold when she gets back in. After 36 years of being married to the mad woman, I know that saying anything would just start the day with a blazing row, obviously my fault, so keep quiet and seethe to myself. Is it too difficult to work out that doors do close and open ?? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 I might be away to get sent to prison for severe pie booting. Been off today, have completely tidy the flat. Taken stuff to the dump, put a washing on, put prints in frames that we’ve been meaning to for a while. She’s just stormed in, having had a shit day at work, told me I’ve done the washing wrong (how the f**k do you do that?), she doesn’t like the frames (she was to buy them last month), and that the house isn’t tidy enough. I’m away to the pub. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 7 minutes ago, mizfit said: I might be away to get sent to prison for severe pie booting. Been off today, have completely tidy the flat. Taken stuff to the dump, put a washing on, put prints in frames that we’ve been meaning to for a while. She’s just stormed in, having had a shit day at work, told me I’ve done the washing wrong (how the f**k do you do that?), she doesn’t like the frames (she was to buy them last month), and that the house isn’t tidy enough. I’m away to the pub. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 2 hours ago, HI HAT said: Coldest night of year but it came as a complete surprise to the good lady wife that her car would need the windscreen scraped . She goes out to clear the windscreen and leaves the front door wide open, the house is freezing cold when she gets back in. After 36 years of being married to the mad woman, I know that saying anything would just start the day with a blazing row, obviously my fault, so keep quiet and seethe to myself. Is it too difficult to work out that doors do close and open ?? HI HAT, even with 1980s sentencing guidlines, you'd have been out 16 years ago if you'd killed her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 12 hours ago, mizfit said: , told me I’ve done the washing wrong (how the f**k do you do that?) Would be quite easy I'd imagine. Apparently I've been opening and shutting doors too loudly all my life, so something as complicated as washing clothes your bound to have fucked it up somewhere man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 14 hours ago, mizfit said: I might be away to get sent to prison for severe pie booting. Been off today, have completely tidy the flat. Taken stuff to the dump, put a washing on, put prints in frames that we’ve been meaning to for a while. She’s just stormed in, having had a shit day at work, told me I’ve done the washing wrong (how the f**k do you do that?), she doesn’t like the frames (she was to buy them last month), and that the house isn’t tidy enough. I’m away to the pub. "civic amenity recycling facility" Shirley? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 "civic amenity recycling facility" Shirley?Good to see you old codgers keeping up with modern nomenclature.[emoji2] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 her - im off to bedme - ill be up soonher - no you wont youll fall asleep down there*half an hour laterme - thats me upher - well i bet you dont come up tomorrow night!repeat daily for the rest of your life! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 her - im off to bedme - ill be up soonher - no you wont youll fall asleep down there*half an hour laterme - thats me upher - well i bet you dont come up tomorrow night!repeat daily for the rest of your life!Tomorrow when she goes to bed leave the house and don’t go back. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 3, 2019 Author Share Posted February 3, 2019 Doesn't toast the other side of the bread when she makes toasted/roasted cheese or whatever you want to call it. I'm afraid anyone who agrees with her method is quite simply wrong. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Doesn't toast the other side of the bread when she makes toasted/roasted cheese or whatever you want to call it. I'm afraid anyone who agrees with her method is quite simply wrong. Oh good. This will go well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 2 hours ago, Dee Man said: Doesn't toast the other side of the bread when she makes toasted/roasted cheese or whatever you want to call it. I'm afraid anyone who agrees with her method is quite simply wrong. Are you married to Sting? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 3, 2019 Author Share Posted February 3, 2019 4 hours ago, MixuFixit said: #imwithher You can have her - you are as bad as each other. If I wanted bread with melted cheese on it I'd just fire a slice of bread with cheese on top into the microwave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UsedToGoToCentralPark Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 You can have her - you are as bad as each other. If I wanted bread with melted cheese on it I'd just fire a slice of bread with cheese on top into the microwave. Calling cards of morons thread for this pish. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 I'm confused about what she's doing You put two slices of bread under the grill and toast that side You take them out, turn them over, put cheese on one and put them back in, melting the cheese and toasting the other side of the other slice What bit is she missing 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 3, 2019 Author Share Posted February 3, 2019 1 minute ago, Miguel Sanchez said: I'm confused about what she's doing You put two slices of bread under the grill and toast that side You take them out, turn them over, put cheese on one and put them back in, melting the cheese and toasting the other side of the other slice What bit is she missing The first part - she doesn't toast the other side. She puts a slice of bread under the grill with cheese on top meaning you get bread with melted cheese on top with only the edges of the bread that the cheese doesn't cover being toasted. It's essentially hot bread with melted cheese on top. Sticking it in the microwave would give virtually the same result and save having to wait on the grill to heat up. It's madness. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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