Busta Nut Posted September 13, 2021 Share Posted September 13, 2021 Every day I get examples of shite I'd love to post on this thread and I forget what it was by the time I open the laptop. We were out today however and upon asking me what exit to take on the upcoming roundabout she had a fit when I said "yer going left" and proceeded to ask questions like "Straight ahead? what one?". It was a simple 4 point roundabout, left, straight ahead, right or fuckin' U turn. f**k me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 13, 2021 Share Posted September 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Busta Nut said: Every day I get examples of shite I'd love to post on this thread and I forget what it was by the time I open the laptop. We were out today however and upon asking me what exit to take on the upcoming roundabout she had a fit when I said "yer going left" and proceeded to ask questions like "Straight ahead? what one?". It was a simple 4 point roundabout, left, straight ahead, right or fuckin' U turn. f**k me. Get her ears waxed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 On 12/09/2021 at 17:23, Theroadlesstravelled said: I've had that with an ex. She's goes to a work's night out, I go to pick her up and out waddle 2 of her work pals who get in the car. Her - "Can you drop off Morag and Mag'ret?" Me going a few miles from the city centre to #G12 - "Where do they stay?" Her - "Mags stays in Ballieston and Morag in East Kilbride". I was a white ball of rage for the whole journey. Id have been 'aye no worries if they both give me a tenner for fuel.' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 8 minutes ago, TheScarf said: Id have been 'aye no worries if they both give me a tenner for fuel.' Don't forget wear & tear on the suspension. Mention that and you might not even have to take any of them at all. Result. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beesher Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 Chooses the worst times to organise seeing family/friends and logistical plans. It's 8am and I've had a string of texts planning stuff for the next month. It's either at this time, after 10pm, when I'm in bed or when I'm extremely hungover. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 2 hours ago, beesher said: Chooses the worst times to organise seeing family/friends and logistical plans. It's 8am and I've had a string of texts planning stuff for the next month. It's either at this time, after 10pm, when I'm in bed or when I'm extremely hungover. Similarly, it used to roast my parsnips when I'd just be drifting off to sleep and I'd hear, "oh, remember to do <incredibly important thing that I knew nothing about> tomorrow. If you don't, the house will explode and we'll all die. Night-night". Cue a sleepless night spent worrying that I'd forget to do <x>. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 "Can you make me a bit of toast?" So I made some toast. Put the plate down next to her - all the while she is looking at her phone. 15 minutes later she puts the phone down and bites into the toast. Apparently the toaster is broken because the toast is cold. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) Mine has developed a debilitating fear of arranging any plans as they will inevitably interfere with the weans lunch / nap, which are always kinda 1130am and 1pm . This means that Nothing gets done ever. Any plan I suggest is wrong cos the wean has to eat/rest. Edited September 14, 2021 by Busta Nut 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 Anniversary tomorrow. We were in the town on Sunday and she wanted to go to the bookshop which I didn't think anything of. After my usual hang about outside for a couple of minutes then realising she was still in there, I guessed she was buying something. She's stood looking at greetings cards for an anniversary card. Maybe it's just me but it's mental to buy a card for me which will just sit on the side for a few days before getting binned, so I told her this. You'd have thought I had just told her our marriage has been a lie. Her response was that she will be getting me one, I can do what I want. In case anyone is wondering it's been 31 years! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthur daley Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 38 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Anniversary tomorrow. We were in the town on Sunday and she wanted to go to the bookshop which I didn't think anything of. After my usual hang about outside for a couple of minutes then realising she was still in there, I guessed she was buying something. She's stood looking at greetings cards for an anniversary card. Maybe it's just me but it's mental to buy a card for me which will just sit on the side for a few days before getting binned, so I told her this. You'd have thought I had just told her our marriage has been a lie. Her response was that she will be getting me one, I can do what I want. In case anyone is wondering it's been 31 years! Are you sending one to yourself to make her jealous then ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 59 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Anniversary tomorrow. We were in the town on Sunday and she wanted to go to the bookshop which I didn't think anything of. After my usual hang about outside for a couple of minutes then realising she was still in there, I guessed she was buying something. She's stood looking at greetings cards for an anniversary card. Maybe it's just me but it's mental to buy a card for me which will just sit on the side for a few days before getting binned, so I told her this. You'd have thought I had just told her our marriage has been a lie. Her response was that she will be getting me one, I can do what I want. In case anyone is wondering it's been 31 years! My mother gave my father the same Christmas card for years. He never noticed... 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 28 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: My mother gave my father the same Christmas card for years. He never noticed... Maybe you're not giving him enough credit for getting her to save a few quid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 We got a wee takeaway of finger buffet like stuff. Also got sauce to dip it in. While I am dishing out a few things I say "Go and divy that up" and pointed at the sauce. "I am not good at that". What pouring a fucking sauce in to two bowls? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 Mine can't talk about going anywhere for a day out or just even a walk without talking about getting a coffee and a "nice slice of cake". It's not so much going to a cafe it's the predictability of her mentioning it every time. If I mention it she calls me a tight old b*****d like her dad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 I'm really enjoying @Busta Nut's updates. Proper raging. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Mr. Alli said: I'm really enjoying @Busta Nut's updates. Proper raging. Quietly impressed with the trolling of Busta's other half. Absolutely seethe inducing without crossing the line into the genuine terrifying pyschosis of that Colombian lassie 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 11 hours ago, Mark Connolly said: Quietly impressed with the trolling of Busta's other half. Absolutely seethe inducing without crossing the line into the genuine terrifying pyschosis of that Colombian lassie That's exactly how I feel 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig fae the Vale Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 18 hours ago, Busta Nut said: We got a wee takeaway of finger buffet like stuff. Also got sauce to dip it in. While I am dishing out a few things I say "Go and divy that up" and pointed at the sauce. "I am not good at that". What pouring a fucking sauce in to two bowls? I get this as well. We got a KFC the other night and while I was upstairs doing my business and getting changed, she left it untouched because "you're better at dividing it". It's not rocket science. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 57 minutes ago, Craig the Hunter said: I get this as well. We got a KFC the other night and while I was upstairs doing my business and getting changed, she left it untouched because "you're better at dividing it". It's not rocket science. Better that than getting in, me going for a lavatorial expedition and her opening up all the containers from the Chinese “to save me time”, serving herself and then leaving them open so that by the time I have dropped the kids off at the pool, my egg foo yung has gone cold. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 34 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Better that than getting in, me going for a lavatorial expedition and her opening up all the containers from the Chinese “to save me time”, serving herself and then leaving them open so that by the time I have dropped the kids off at the pool, my egg foo yung has gone cold. Order less egg, more fibre and there won't be enough time for it to get cold. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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